Flair-quest

My Dearest Flairidians,*

I am in search of a good online Ebonics translator. In general, I have been very disappointed in what I have found so far. Any shout outs from my flair-peeps would be appreciated.

http://www.joel.net/EBONICS/translator.asp
It's okay, but doesn't seem to do much beyond add an assortment of phrases like "...and git Sheniquah's ass back ova' heeah." at the end of every paragraph. Better than:
http://www.billism.com/eng_to_ebon_trans.html
which only adds one phrase.

http://www.writtenhumor.com/ebonics.html
Does nothing but change a few prepositions and pronouns.

http://www.degraeve.com/translator.php
And while I want to like this one, only its Smurf-lation function is of any remote merit.

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/
While the Jive function might be helpful in a final edit, it still ain't good enuff. I do like the Swedish Chef option. Bork bork bork!

I do think I know what I want for Christmas though:
http://www.ebonicpersuit.com/


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*I sort of like Piecesovies, but it might be taken as too derisive by some of you pussies out there...