Monday, February 28, 2005

Need a date?

"Welcome to the first online dating experience designed exclusively for adults with serious mental illness. No Longer Lonely is the ultimate icebreaker:

* Never have to worry again about disclosure of your condition
* No need to hide those pill bottles
* Never again have to explain your erratic work experience
* No more stigma-induced disappointments
* Finding someone who can really understand your struggles and accomplishments"
From the same guy who brought us tiny plaid ninjas comes a trippy flash video for Cake's "Comfort Eagle." Not bad.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Jay McCarroll of Bravo's Project Runway shows up some guy named Donny Deutsch on his own show:

DEUTSCH: You are a fashion designer. You are a fashion expert. You could theoretically go into your closet and say, `I'm going to put together the stupidest combination of stuff, but because I'm wearing it, it's fashion.' I mean, I like--if I wore that stuff they would take me away, you know, and then put me in an insane asylum.
Mr. McCARROLL: Is `stupidest' a word?
DEUTSCH: No, no, but with you it's the equivalent--no...
Mr. McCARROLL: No, I'm just saying, isn't it `most stupid,' or is it
DEUTSCH: Did I say `stupidest'?
Mr. McCARROLL: You said `stupidest.'
DEUTSCH: OK. Well...
Mr. McCARROLL: Whatever.
DEUTSCH: And they give a guy like me a talk show, huh?
Mr. McCARROLL: You're most stupid.

Blatantly stolen from Gothamist

More on McCarroll from his Bravo FAQ:

Q: If you could design an outfit for any living person, who would be your dream client and why?

A: I would have to say Amy Sedaris because she is f--king funny. I don't care about that red carpet Hollywood bulls--t. I want to see my clothes being worn with some humor. I know she would know how to properly accessorize... like with a stuffed chicken or a mouth guard or a cane.

I think Constantine is getting a bad rap. I saw it today and found it to be pretty decent. It's not Million Dollar Baby or Hotel Rwanda, but no one should be expecting much from a comic book movie. It may not match the X-Men or Spiderman movies, but it's sure as hell better than Electra, Van Helsing, The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, Daredevil, Catwoman, and whatever other superhero-crapfests I may have neglected to mention. It's certainly on par with, if not better than, Hellboy and The Hulk. At the least, it's something to tide your scifi nerd needs over until Batman Begins, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Serenity arrive. (Sidenote for the Serenity-obsessed: the Serenity trailer which was originally supposed to premier with Electra is now slated to appear with The Hitchhiker's Guide in early May. Despite the delay, I take this as a good sign.)
Relive classic scenes from Office Space with the Superfriends. (They are missing the crucial "pieces of flair" scene, however...)

Friday, February 25, 2005

Deion Sanders knows how to make a good hot dog

"Are you ready to enjoy the perfect hot dog every time in just minutes? There’s no other appliance out there like this one. With the Deion Sanders’ Hot Dog Express you can enjoy hot dogs the professional way."

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Two excellent blogs you should check out: Blink-O-Rama and we make money not art

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Looks like a setup to me, but it's still pretty funny: Dancing Air Force Cadet

Monday, February 21, 2005

From the “stories you may have missed” file:

Koko the gorilla has a nipple fetish. (credit to Nick)

Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian.
They were threatened that if they "did not indulge Koko's nipple fetish, their employment with the Gorilla Foundation would suffer," the lawsuit alleged.
The lawsuit claims that on one occasion Patterson said, "'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.'"

Tom Sizemore caught using prosthetic penis to pass drug test.

The actor is required to undergo random drug tests as a condition of probation for his convictions on separate charges of methamphetamine possession and beating his ex-girlfriend, former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. During Thursday's proceedings, prosecutors told Judge Baretto that Sizemore failed three drug tests in three days, the first after he was caught using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack.

The ACLU defends Hans Hoppe’s academic freedom. (credit to Todd)

Hoppe, 55, a world-renowned economist, author and speaker, said he was giving a lecture to his money and banking class in March when the incident occurred.

The subject of the lecture was economic planning for the future. Hoppe said he gave several examples to the class of about 30 upper-level undergraduate students on groups who tend to plan for the future and groups who do not...

...Another example he gave the class was that homosexuals tend to plan less for the future than heterosexuals.

Reasons for the phenomenon include the fact that homosexuals tend not to have children, he said. They also tend to live riskier lifestyles than heterosexuals, Hoppe said. He said there is a belief among some economists that one of the 20th century's most influential economists, John Maynard Keynes, was influenced in his beliefs by his homosexuality. Keynes espoused a "spend it now" philosophy to keep an economy strong, much as President Bush did after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Having met him and heard Hoppe lecture on several occassions, I think this is probably one of his least offensive views.

John Fund ignores property rights in his perpetual quest to appear homeless.

Julian Sanchez blogs over at HitAndRun: “Some bloggers seem to think this is a tale of big media arrogance toward mere bloggers. I suspect it's just Fund's absent minded professor schtick. Folks who've known him a while report that he didn't find anything unusual about coming into the (collective) office on weekends to do laundry in the restroom sink.”

After a second incident, Fund’s latest victim started the John Fund Blackberry Fund in an attempt to alleviate future problems. I personally think a copy of Miss Manners’ Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium might be a more fitting gift. Incidentally, I can confirm the laundry in the office sink rumor.
Todd Seavey sent this in last week, but I'm only now getting around to posting it. My tardiness should in no way influence your opinion of the following claim or otherwise diminish its importance: Todd may have located the worst movie of all time. I say this having watched such contenders as Battlefield Earth, Masters of the Universe (which, incidentally, is up for a John Woo remake), The Time Machine, Leonard: Part 6, and Nell. In his own words:

So I watch _Lawnmower Man 2_ on video (and it wasn't half bad, sort of a mid-90s pre-Matrix virtual reality adventure, though it's amazing how quickly that sort of thing becomes dated -- remember the days when every computer program was depicted as being an elaborate visual environment, as if programming always looks like playing a game from _Tron_?), but the really shocking thing was the trailer at the beginning of the tape, for a mid-90s comedy I'd never heard of before that caused me to feel more like I was experiencing a real-life version of some bad-movie parody from _The Critic_ than anything I've ever before witnessed, and it went vaguley like this:

VISUALS: Futuristic SWAT team surrounds criminals.
NARRATOR: She was the future's toughest cop...
WHOOPI GOLDBERG: You're under arrest!
NARRATOR: And he...
VISUAL: Big rubber dinosaur tail wiggling around.
NARRATOR: ...was something she never expected!
WHOOPI: He's my partner?!?
VISUAL: Whoopi interrogating prisoner, as the dinosaur moves toward the
guy as if to bite his neck.
WHOOPI: You can't keep threatening to eat the prisoners!
MUSIC RISES IN BACKGROUND: "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was Not Was
DINOSAUR: Hey, I gotta be me!
NARRATOR: Meet the future's wackiest clone! Meet...
VISUAL: Dinosaur slaps stiff, upper-crusty woman at gala event on the ass with his tail.
NARRATOR: ...Theodore Rex!!

I watched the trailer three times because it couldn't be real and yet it was real but it couldn't be real.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Cover your ears: More Snow on the way

"Canadian rapper MC Snow is returning to the limelight after a criminal record plunged him into obscurity in the early 1990s.

"The Toronto singer shot to fame in 1993 with his massive hit Informer [No. 4 on VH1's 40 Most Awesomely Bad #1 Songs Ever], and has thrilled patient fans by working on a new record, which is due for release later this year.

"Snow credits his time in prison with helping him to hone his skills, joking that 'if you can sing in jail and not get killed, you know you're OK.'

"He says, 'I'm working on a new record right now, which I hope to get rolling later this year. People tell me I paved the way for Eminem.

"'He paved his own way, but he got it easy. I came just after Vanilla Ice, and people were saying, 'What the hell is this guy doing singing in patois?' I had to win people over the tough way. I'm still banned from Japan though.'"

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

You ought to be in pictures

Recently had your ability to function normally in society questioned? Put the matter to rest by commissioning a completely non-creepy portrait of yourself and your pet at
Soon there will only be Pruno...

So I come across this Yahoo news story, "Michigan to Cut Free Coffee for Inmates," and something told me I knew exactly who was behind it. Sure enough, our man in Lansing is flexing his legislative muscle. As he writes: "I had originally pushed to index the amount spent on inmate food to the amount spent on National Guardsmen's meals. I don't think that we want our prisoners eating better than our troops." Way to keep up the good fight, Mr. Lansing, or at least the entertaining one. We salute you.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

A heartfelt congrats goes out to Tim on his engagement to Erin. (While I'm on the topic, a belated congrats to Sarah (& Erik), Guy & Bretigne, and Lindsay & Eddie.) Looks like it's gonna be a good year!

Monday, February 14, 2005

It's the Axis of Evil Typing Game! - almost as good as Typing of the Dead.
Happy Valentine's from ZeFrank

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Defaced Art

Friday, February 11, 2005

Check out this Rocky montage spoof via BoingBoing. It's more Jackass than Viv La Bam. More Conan O'Brien that Tom Green. More Trigger Happy TV than Boiling Points. More Jamie Kennedy Experiment than Punk'd. More Buzzkill than Scare Tactics. If you wanted to, you know, fit it into the genre.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Peasant's Quest: The Movie

"A Trogventure for the Whole Trogfamily"
James R Ford undertakes a new project

"Wheelchair-bound physicist Stephen Hawking is known as the 'Master of the Universe' because of his theories about outer space.

"And soon, he'll be the subject of a painting which takes his fragile frame and transforms him into He-Man, the cartoon star of 'He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.'

"Artist James Ford will begin his portrait on Hawking's birthday -- January 8 -- and plans to model it on the animation style of the 1980s 'He-Man' cartoon.

"The painting will even be accompanied by a recording of He-Man's theme song recited by a computerized voice that sounds like Hawking's signature tone."
Ben Cohen is playing with our Oreos

Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry's ice cream wants you to tell your Congressman what you would like the federal government to do with all of your taxes, in cookie form. The game is rigged, though. For one thing, you can't stack more than 50 Oreos in the "Pentagon" column. More importantly, there is no column labeled "Give our $%#@ing Oreos back."
Frozen chicken launchers confirm Australia's bad boy reputation

"Australian police admitted Thursday they were mystified by a spate of apparent attacks on homes using frozen chickens as missiles.

"The case ruffled feathers of senior politicians in New South Wales state, leaving Premier Bob Carr pondering the mysteries of life.

"'One of the things that is interesting about our life here on this planet is that sometimes the unexpected happens and chickens smashing tiles, frozen chicken hurtling through the stratosphere, is one of the mysteries of existence,' he told reporters, tongue-in-cheek."

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Bender: Fembots? Methinks a clever Manbot suitably disguised might win those events! But the charade would require subtlety, nuance, grace.

Zimbabwe female athlete 'was man'

One of Zimbabwe's leading junior athletes, who has won several gold medals in women's events, is really a man, police say.

Samukeliso Sithole, 17, has been charged with impersonation.

At her court appearance, she insisted that she was a woman, despite a doctor's report to the contrary.

Ms Sithole said she was born with both male and female sexual organs and a traditional healer had made the penis disappear but it had since regrown.

She told the court that the penis had returned because the healer had not been fully paid for his services.

She said that she had already arranged to pay the healer on 3 March, the day her trial is set to start, and so she expected her penis to disappear once more, according to the state-run Herald newspaper.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005


There go the remains of my productivity... 14 steps from Smashing Pumpkins to the Knack... awesome. In other useless web resources, check out this visual representation of name frequency over the last 100+ years.

Saltology is simply Salty terminology!
In da negative; to shakke is to hate, to SALT shakke is to player hate, hence SALT shakkin' is player hatin'.
(this spelling with double KK's is always & only used in da negative)
In da positive,
What's shakin? means what's up? What's happening? or Where's the party at?
To shake (spelled with only one K) is to show mastery in any skill at all times especially during competition, as in shakin' & groovin'.
U Feel me? I know U do!
So Shake it up!


Sunday, February 06, 2005

Gives a whole new meaning to "sleeping with the fishes."

Sushi Pillows

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Clear as Purple Crayon

This trailer spoof for Star Wars Episode 3 is probably much more entertaining than the actual movie.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Baby got book

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

When the melting pot asplodes...

Meet Matisyahu Miller, Hasidic Reggae Superstar