Thursday, February 28, 2008

"Would you like a hair sandwich?"

Any article with a title like that sounds like it might be worth a look and quickly becomes a must-read after this lede: "Like all good stories, this one begins with a bull humping a cow in the middle of the road." Joe Keohane's Slate piece goes on to chronicle the exploits of one Alan Abel: "America's greatest living hoaxer."

The bovine incident above and the horrified reaction of his fellow motorists inspired Abel:

The idea was to write a satire about a group called "The Society for Indecency to Naked Animals," or SINA, which would call for animals to be clothed for the sake of decency. Abel submitted his story to the Saturday Evening Post, but when the editors missed the joke and angrily rejected it, he got an even better idea and founded SINA for real in 1959. The agenda: to get Bermuda shorts on horses, dogs, and any animal taller than 4 inches or longer than 6. The battle cry: "A nude horse is a rude horse!"

Read the whole story.

Comic books that history forgot

Or are they?

Via Julian.

L. Ron's wackiness declared unoriginal


Turns out that after searching out various forms of idiocy, L. Ron Hubbard stumbled upon a German text from 1934 that would seal his destiny - Scientologie.

Apparently, the book was just silly enough and just obscure enough that he could believably pass the ideas off as his own and, with the dedicated service of his trusty Sea Organization, begin spreading the good news.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Mario the player

Mario pre-mushroom kingdom by ~SilentKV on deviantART

Evidently, Mario did pretty well for himself, even before he rescued the princess.

Via Shaun.

Kimmel's Revenge

Monday, February 25, 2008

Bringing home baby

Just one of a series of helpful parenting tips for new parents the world over. Don't let the Spanish throw you off, the title says "Baby care instructions," so you can't go wrong following these simple guidelines for looking after junior.

Props to fellow Hillsdale expat James.

Up up and awaaaaaay......

Via SayNoToCrack

LOLCat Bible

Via PopSci: A couple years ago, a Web sensation was born when a bunch of people started posting photos of cute animals—mostly kittens—doing funny stuff, mostly with computers, and captioning these photos in the weird pidgen of baby talk and IM slang now known as 'lolspeak.'

"Once you’re proficient, you’ll no doubt want to assist in the effort to translate the Bible into lolspeak. Important rule of thumb: Remember that 'God' is translated as 'Ceiling Cat,' as in this passage from Genesis 1:1: 'In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.'"

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Not So Square After All.....

Spongebob Squarepants Musical Rectal Thermometer

Via BoingBoing

Friday, February 22, 2008

Everyday Normal Guy

Credit to Alec.

Black Hole coming to the big screen


Via Newsarama: Charles Burns' Black Hole is supposedly coming to a theater near you...eventually. David Fincher of Zodiac and Se7en fame just signed on to direct the weirdness.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

"I'm Old Greg!"

Monday, February 18, 2008

Bible Fight!

Play it here! And if that's not enough to slake your bloodlust, the folks at Adult Swim have also created: "Viva Caligula!" and "Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself)".

Congressional Ballin'

President's Day is overrated; Congress is where it's at:

This (above) combined with this (below) equals awesome.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I think I’m entitled to them.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I want the truth!

Clemens: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has baseballs. And those balls have to be hit by men with bats. Who’s gonna do it? You? You,Congressman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for steroids and you curse HGH. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that HGH, while illegal, probably sells tickets. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, sells tickets…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that mound. You need me on that mound. We use words like fastall, slider, splitfinger…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing a sport. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and falls asleep to the Sportscenter clips I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide them! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and dig in. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: You’re goddamn right I did!!

The inspiration of cheap perfume


Where would rock be without this staple? Who knew the music industry owed so much to Journey? Both questions are equally frightening.

Here's a sampling of the void that would exist without cheap perfume:

- Bobby Borchers, "Cheap Perfume And Candlelight," 1977

"Your prey was out there dressed to kill
In cheap perfume and candlelight"

- Journey, "Don’t Stop Believin’," Escape, 1981

"A singer in a smokey room; A smell of wine and cheap perfume; For a smile they can share the night; It goes on and on and on and on"

- Pavement, "Perfume-V," Slanted & Enchanted: Luxe & Reduxe, 2002

"when it looks life a wife's ex-plot; we'll cover all the rugs with cheap perfume"

- Fall Out Boy, "I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me," From Under the Cork Tree, 2005

"Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's; So fitting, so fitting of the way you are"

- Avril Lavigne, "Everything Back But You," The Best Damn Thing, 2007

"Smelled like cheap perfume; And it didn't smell like you"

- Modest Mouse, "We've Got Everything," We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank, 2007

"Flat Top Tony got all messed up split his lip chasing cheap perfume"

Friday, February 15, 2008

Tentacle Implants


I'm not sure when Tattoos for Toddlers will start offering tentacle implants, but it sure seems like a winning combination to me.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Play it again, Sam...

Via Janet.

Once more with feeling...

Happy Valentine's Day


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Catholic Costumes for Children


Catholic Costumes for Children not only provides handmade outfits from farm women in Kansas, but it also offers what the site apparently considers anti-pedophilia costume advice:

"if your older boy is portraying St. Isaac Jogues, provide fake bloody fingers - the Iroquois chewed off the Saint's fingers after seeing him offer the Mass because they thought he was performing magic!"

Via The Presurfer.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Do the Lurch

Stolen from Todd.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Lang Lang gets some shoes

Shoe manufacturer Adidas is looking to challenge Nike's success with something known as the "Air Jordan" by carving out a niche shoe for their own:

"Adidas will start selling a Lang Lang line of sneakers next May, and the pianist is already wearing them. They are firm soled, black with gold stripes, and emblazoned (also in gold) with Lang Lang's name along the side."

With any luck, the commercial endorsement will be as successful for the company as when it paired up with the band Korn.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Jesus and Buddha are roommates


Sure, it's no Jesus vs. Vampires, but Saint Young Men - in which Jesus and Buddha decide to take a break together by renting an apartment in present-day Tokyo - gets to say more about holy fashion:

"Perhaps to allow them to blend in somewhat, they are a suitably stylish pair — with Jesus even boasting a T-shirt that boldly proclaims, 'Dad, Me and the Holy Spirit.'"

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Just in time for Super Tuesday...nevermind

Harry Shearer's excellent "Silent Debate," courtesy of H&R.

Bonus: "Famed anti-tax crusader" Lady Godiva rides again to endorse Ron Paul!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

10 Star Wars Action Figure Look Alikes

Nowadays, it seems like every celebrity under the sun has an action figure. Corey Feldman just got one, and Cary Elwes has one on the way, and if that isn’t a sign of the apocalypse, I don’t know what is. (Granted, it’s for the long overdue The Princess Bride, but still…Cary Elwes!) But what about the toys that unintentionally resemble celebrities? In its early years, the Star Wars line suffered from a lot of terrible likenesses, and while we couldn’t find any that looked like Cary Elwes (although there were too many who looked like Corey Feldman to count), we did find ten figures that were the spitting images of actors they were absolutely, positively not intended to resemble.

Although I found this Topless Robot article via BoingBoing, I was surprised to discover the author is actually by my friend (and high school chum), Zach Oat. Zach has also blogged on the 10 Most Disturbing Smurfs and Iron Man or Downey. Good Stuff.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Of E.D. and outlaw country

A farm boy from the North Carolina mountains, he had found his way into quackery by the time he reached his 20s, and though a brief flirtation with "electric medicine from Germany" -- "injecting colored water into rear ends" -- got him into jail in South Carolina in 1913, he just headed west and bounced right back.

Jonathan Yardley's fascinating book review in yesterday's Washington Post tells the story of Dr. John R. Brinkley, whose "miracle" goat gonad cure and his efforts to advertise it led to the cultural phenomenon of outlaw country and made him one of the worst serial killers in US history.

More on Brinkley here.


Sunday, February 03, 2008

For Those Not Watching the Superbowl

I'm a little disappointed in a certain Ukrainian ex-pat for not bringing this to my attention sooner. Sadly, Ukraine's Verka Serduchka only took second place in the 2007 Eurovision contest. The Serbs won it with Marija Šerifović's "Prayer" (aka "Snore"). For more on the Eurovision awards, see PoF's 2006 coverage here.
Via WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

I bear-ly love you


Tell your loved one how you really feel this year with Subversive Cross Stitch Valentine kits by Natalie Dee.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon