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Why Capitalists Want To Sell You Deodorant
"1. Body smells are erotic and sensual. Capitalists don't like that because they are impotent and opposed to all manifestations of sensuality and sexuality. Sexually-awakened people are potentially dangerous to capitalists and their rigid, asexual system.
"2. Body smells remind us that we are animals. Capitalists don't want to be reminded of that. Animals are dirty. They eat things off the ground. They are openly sexual. They don't wear tuxedos or corsets or have their hair done.
"3. Body smells are unique. Everyone has her own body smell. Capitalists don't like individuality. There are millions of body smells but only a few deodorant smells. Capitalists like that.
"4. Deodorants are harmful. Many capitalists like that because they are always looking for new illnesses to cure. Capitalists love to invent new medicines. Medicines make money for them and win them prizes. They also cause new illnesses so that they can invent even more medicines.
"5. Deodorants cost you money. Capitalists are especially pleased about that.
"6. Deodorants hide the damage that capitalists' products cause to your body. Eating meat and other body pollutants sold by capitalists makes you smell. Wearing pantyhose makes you smell. Capitalists don't want you to stop wearing pantyhose or eating body pollutants.
"7. Deodorant-users are insecure. Capitalists like insecure people. Insecure people don't start trouble. Insecure people also buy room freshners, hair conditioners, and makeup.
"8. Deodorants are unnecessary. Capitalists are very proud of that and they win marketing awards for it."
