Derren Brown is a fun find. He's pretty excellent without all the self-congratulatory annoyingness of a Copperfield or Blaine. Like Penn & Teller, he’s also out to debunk a lot of cons a la John Edwards. He has way too many pictures of himself on his website which suggests that he could develop one of those bizarrely overblown magician/con-man egos, but I am hopeful that he will avoid that dark and evil path. These nifty video clips have enough material in them to fill an entire season of Bullshit. Good stuff - especially for the anti-new age crowd.

PSAs for the day:

- Don't even bother renting The Ring Two or I ♥ Huckabees
- Do bother to check out RadioDavidByrne

The Old Negro Space Program

Social Theorists in Lego
I guess Michel Foucault is as close to the philosophy set as I'm going to get... I can dream.

Just when I think the internet was starting to run out of surprises, something like this rolls along: Mariko Takahashi's Fitness Video

We Have Decided Not to Die - an experimental film that doesn't suck.

Celebrate the opening of "Melinda and Melinda" with your very own piece of courtroom art



"Woody Allen/Mia Farrow Custody Trial - trial date 1993

"Allegations of sexual misconduct with his step-daughter, led to the judges awarding custody of their children to Mia Farrow, but he was granted visitation rights for his biological son."

More dating help is on the way



"Welcome to Libertarian Passions!

"A free online dating site specifically for Libertarian singles. If you believe in free will, individual liberty, and personal responsibility, Libertarian Passions is the site for you."

As much as I love the movies, I just can't bring myself to approve: Lord of the Rings, the Musical set to Open in London.

Happy St. Urho's Day!!!!



One of the lesser known, but extraordinary legends of ages past is the legend of St. Urho - patron saint of the Finnish vineyard workers.

Before the last glacial period wild grapes grew with abundance in the area now known as Finland. Archaeologists have uncovered evidence of this scratched on the thigh bones of the giant bears that once roamed northern Europe. Th wild grapes were threatened by a plagud of grasshoppers until St. Urho banished the lot of them with a few selected Finnish words.

In the memory of this impressive demonstration of the Finnish language, Finnish people celebrate on March 16., the day before St. Patricks day. It tends to serve as a reminder that St. Pat's day is just around the corner and is thus celebrated by squares. At sunrise on March 16. Finnish women and children dressed in royal purple and nile green gather around the shores of the many lakes in Finland and chant what St. Urho chanted many years ago: "Heinasirkka, heinasirkka, menetaalta hiiteen." (Translated: "Grasshopper, grasshopper, go away!")

Adult male, (people, not grasshoppers) dressed in green costumes gather on the hills overlooking the lakes, listen to the chant and then kicking out like grasshoppers, they slowly disappear to change costumes from green to purple. Th celebration ends with singing and dancing polkas and schottisches and drinking grape juice. Though these activities may occur in varying sequences.

Color for the day is royal purple and nile green.

I'm off for spring break for TWO WEEKS (WOOT!)... posting may or may not happen....

Buddy Rich vs. Animal at the Muppet Show

Just when you thought Joan and Melissa Rivers had sucked all the humor out of fashion: Go Fug Yourself

Summer is on the way



Don't get caught on the beach without the latest fashions from WholesomeWear.

"The True Adventures of Chad, The Guy Who Was So Into Super Monkeyball Deluxe That He Decided to Live in a Ball"

Better than a magazine subscription...


Unfortunate Animal of the Month Club
(fair warning - this is the least disturbing part of this site)

Great music, stylish duds



From Jim Wirt, the artist who created the incredible DVD box art for Nicole Kidman's classic BMX Bandits, comes the multimedia experience that is Coloring Book.

McCain hate blogs! Free speech bad!



From Division of Labour, FEC Commissioner Brad Smith explains to CNET magazine what the future holds for online politicking if McCain-Feingold stays on course:

CNET: "If Congress doesn't change the law, what kind of activities will the FEC have to target?"

SMITH: "We're talking about any decision by an individual to put a link (to a political candidate) on their home page, set up a blog, send out mass e-mails, any kind of activity that can be done on the Internet."

CNET: "So if you're using text that the campaign sends you, and you're reproducing it on your blog or forwarding it to a mailing list, you could be in trouble?"

SMITH: "Yes. In fact, the regulations are very specific that reproducing a campaign's material is a reproduction for purpose of triggering the law. That'll count as an expenditure that counts against campaign finance law.

"This is an incredible thicket. If someone else doesn't take action, for instance in Congress, we're running a real possibility of serious Internet regulation. It's going to be bizarre."

Take the Fat Guy Shirts challenge



"Nobody wants to see you naked, but we guarantee people will picture it immediately upon seeing this shirt. And if you're lucky, they'll dream about it too."

Would a Satanic Eucharist Use Sour Grapes?

Following the blowup over the truly tasteless Pope bit that ran in the NY Press, editor Alan Cabal resigned. Now Hit and Run picks up the fun twist that Cabal is a satanist and a whiner to boot:

Gone are the great iconoclasts... What fills the space? Bullies like J.R. Taylor and dickless juveniles like Matt Taibbi, whose hack tendencies clearly run in the family. Daddy does Michael Jackson on NBC, Sonny Boy trashes the Pope in a meaningless cat box liner. ...

Lightweights all, desperately striving to be dangerous while leaving open the possibility of some safe and secure upward mobility in the defanged world of mainstream media. I'm a certified Satanist, and our current issue featuring Taibbi's adolescent assault on the Pope embarrassed me. It was a waste of paper, and a mere insult, not in the least bit challenging, to the city's Roman Catholic population. He could have gone into P2, Marcinkus, and the assassination of John Paul I, but no, the lazy brat just ran off a stupid and ugly list that a 12 year old Marilyn Manson fan could have done better.

I should also add that having met J.R. Taylor and heard postive reviews from Todd, he hardly strikes me as a "bully." Although, admittedly, my first-hand knowledge is limited here...

Telling it like it is



In this video from Milk and Cookies, Televangelist Benny Hinn's wife Suzanne lets women know why they need to trade their high heels for combat boots. But not, of course, before their "holy ghost enema."

Bunch of cute toons over at Kozo the Sumo Hippo - I liked The Snowman in Particular.

Best Comic Ever...


The Complete Calvin & Hobbes Archive

Heironymus Bosch Figurines

Here's a PSA I bet you never thought of: beware of upper-decking.

(Yes, I know, I'm sorry for even posting it - but if I have to live with this knowledge, so do you.)

Gothamist has a nice interview with John Stossel posted along with a plug for his 20/20 special tonight on colorism.

When Billionaires Attack...



The NY Post reports that a feud is brewing between George Soros and Richard Mellon Scaife, two of the best mealtickets currently tinkering with politics.

Left-wing billionaire George Soros claims right-wing billionaire Richard Mellon Scaife is trying to smear him by posting an embarrassing story on the Internet. Soros is being sued for $6 million by a carpet installer who claims the investor's Labrador attacked him in 2004 when he came to work at Soros' Westchester estate. Yesterday, Cybercast News Service (www.CNSNews.com) posted a story claiming that Soros and his son, Gregory, acted negligently. Soros' rep, Michael Vachon, told PAGE SIX that Scaife funds the site through his Media Research Center and called the story a "smear attack" Scaife has launched against Soros. But CNS's Scott Hogenson denies there was any agenda, and sniffed: "Soros knows a thing or two about smear campaigns, having spent $23 million on them in the last election."

This so needs to be an episode of Springer.

Need a date?

"Welcome to the first online dating experience designed exclusively for adults with serious mental illness. No Longer Lonely is the ultimate icebreaker:

* Never have to worry again about disclosure of your condition
* No need to hide those pill bottles
* Never again have to explain your erratic work experience
* No more stigma-induced disappointments
* Finding someone who can really understand your struggles and accomplishments"

From the same guy who brought us tiny plaid ninjas comes a trippy flash video for Cake's "Comfort Eagle." Not bad.

Jay McCarroll of Bravo's Project Runway shows up some guy named Donny Deutsch on his own show:

DEUTSCH: You are a fashion designer. You are a fashion expert. You could theoretically go into your closet and say, `I'm going to put together the stupidest combination of stuff, but because I'm wearing it, it's fashion.' I mean, I like--if I wore that stuff they would take me away, you know, and then put me in an insane asylum.
Mr. McCARROLL: Is `stupidest' a word?
DEUTSCH: No, no, but with you it's the equivalent--no...
Mr. McCARROLL: No, I'm just saying, isn't it `most stupid,' or is it
`stupidest'?
DEUTSCH: Did I say `stupidest'?
Mr. McCARROLL: You said `stupidest.'
DEUTSCH: OK. Well...
Mr. McCARROLL: Whatever.
DEUTSCH: And they give a guy like me a talk show, huh?
Mr. McCARROLL: You're most stupid.

Blatantly stolen from Gothamist

More on McCarroll from his Bravo FAQ:

Q: If you could design an outfit for any living person, who would be your dream client and why?

A: I would have to say Amy Sedaris because she is f--king funny. I don't care about that red carpet Hollywood bulls--t. I want to see my clothes being worn with some humor. I know she would know how to properly accessorize... like with a stuffed chicken or a mouth guard or a cane.

I think Constantine is getting a bad rap. I saw it today and found it to be pretty decent. It's not Million Dollar Baby or Hotel Rwanda, but no one should be expecting much from a comic book movie. It may not match the X-Men or Spiderman movies, but it's sure as hell better than Electra, Van Helsing, The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, Daredevil, Catwoman, and whatever other superhero-crapfests I may have neglected to mention. It's certainly on par with, if not better than, Hellboy and The Hulk. At the least, it's something to tide your scifi nerd needs over until Batman Begins, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Serenity arrive. (Sidenote for the Serenity-obsessed: the Serenity trailer which was originally supposed to premier with Electra is now slated to appear with The Hitchhiker's Guide in early May. Despite the delay, I take this as a good sign.)

Relive classic scenes from Office Space with the Superfriends. (They are missing the crucial "pieces of flair" scene, however...)

Deion Sanders knows how to make a good hot dog



"Are you ready to enjoy the perfect hot dog every time in just minutes? There’s no other appliance out there like this one. With the Deion Sanders’ Hot Dog Express you can enjoy hot dogs the professional way."

Two excellent blogs you should check out: Blink-O-Rama and we make money not art

Looks like a setup to me, but it's still pretty funny: Dancing Air Force Cadet

From the “stories you may have missed” file:


Koko the gorilla has a nipple fetish. (credit to Nick)

Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian.
They were threatened that if they "did not indulge Koko's nipple fetish, their employment with the Gorilla Foundation would suffer," the lawsuit alleged.
The lawsuit claims that on one occasion Patterson said, "'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.'"

Tom Sizemore caught using prosthetic penis to pass drug test.

The actor is required to undergo random drug tests as a condition of probation for his convictions on separate charges of methamphetamine possession and beating his ex-girlfriend, former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. During Thursday's proceedings, prosecutors told Judge Baretto that Sizemore failed three drug tests in three days, the first after he was caught using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack.

The ACLU defends Hans Hoppe’s academic freedom. (credit to Todd)

Hoppe, 55, a world-renowned economist, author and speaker, said he was giving a lecture to his money and banking class in March when the incident occurred.

The subject of the lecture was economic planning for the future. Hoppe said he gave several examples to the class of about 30 upper-level undergraduate students on groups who tend to plan for the future and groups who do not...

...Another example he gave the class was that homosexuals tend to plan less for the future than heterosexuals.

Reasons for the phenomenon include the fact that homosexuals tend not to have children, he said. They also tend to live riskier lifestyles than heterosexuals, Hoppe said. He said there is a belief among some economists that one of the 20th century's most influential economists, John Maynard Keynes, was influenced in his beliefs by his homosexuality. Keynes espoused a "spend it now" philosophy to keep an economy strong, much as President Bush did after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Having met him and heard Hoppe lecture on several occassions, I think this is probably one of his least offensive views.



John Fund ignores property rights in his perpetual quest to appear homeless.

Julian Sanchez blogs over at HitAndRun: “Some bloggers seem to think this is a tale of big media arrogance toward mere bloggers. I suspect it's just Fund's absent minded professor schtick. Folks who've known him a while report that he didn't find anything unusual about coming into the (collective) office on weekends to do laundry in the restroom sink.”

After a second incident, Fund’s latest victim started the John Fund Blackberry Fund in an attempt to alleviate future problems. I personally think a copy of Miss Manners’ Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium might be a more fitting gift. Incidentally, I can confirm the laundry in the office sink rumor.

Todd Seavey sent this in last week, but I'm only now getting around to posting it. My tardiness should in no way influence your opinion of the following claim or otherwise diminish its importance: Todd may have located the worst movie of all time. I say this having watched such contenders as Battlefield Earth, Masters of the Universe (which, incidentally, is up for a John Woo remake), The Time Machine, Leonard: Part 6, and Nell. In his own words:

So I watch _Lawnmower Man 2_ on video (and it wasn't half bad, sort of a mid-90s pre-Matrix virtual reality adventure, though it's amazing how quickly that sort of thing becomes dated -- remember the days when every computer program was depicted as being an elaborate visual environment, as if programming always looks like playing a game from _Tron_?), but the really shocking thing was the trailer at the beginning of the tape, for a mid-90s comedy I'd never heard of before that caused me to feel more like I was experiencing a real-life version of some bad-movie parody from _The Critic_ than anything I've ever before witnessed, and it went vaguley like this:

VISUALS: Futuristic SWAT team surrounds criminals.
NARRATOR: She was the future's toughest cop...
WHOOPI GOLDBERG: You're under arrest!
NARRATOR: And he...
VISUAL: Big rubber dinosaur tail wiggling around.
NARRATOR: ...was something she never expected!
WHOOPI: He's my partner?!?
BIG CARTOONISH DINOSAUR SUIT WITH ARTICULATED MOUTH MOVEMENTS (AND HE'S WEARING A GARISH SUIT): Hey, baby, I got styyyyyyle!
VISUAL: Whoopi interrogating prisoner, as the dinosaur moves toward the
guy as if to bite his neck.
WHOOPI: You can't keep threatening to eat the prisoners!
MUSIC RISES IN BACKGROUND: "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was Not Was
DINOSAUR: Hey, I gotta be me!
NARRATOR: Meet the future's wackiest clone! Meet...
VISUAL: Dinosaur slaps stiff, upper-crusty woman at gala event on the ass with his tail.
NARRATOR: ...Theodore Rex!!

I watched the trailer three times because it couldn't be real and yet it was real but it couldn't be real.

Cover your ears: More Snow on the way



"Canadian rapper MC Snow is returning to the limelight after a criminal record plunged him into obscurity in the early 1990s.

"The Toronto singer shot to fame in 1993 with his massive hit Informer [No. 4 on VH1's 40 Most Awesomely Bad #1 Songs Ever], and has thrilled patient fans by working on a new record, which is due for release later this year.

"Snow credits his time in prison with helping him to hone his skills, joking that 'if you can sing in jail and not get killed, you know you're OK.'

"He says, 'I'm working on a new record right now, which I hope to get rolling later this year. People tell me I paved the way for Eminem.

"'He paved his own way, but he got it easy. I came just after Vanilla Ice, and people were saying, 'What the hell is this guy doing singing in patois?' I had to win people over the tough way. I'm still banned from Japan though.'"

You ought to be in pictures



Recently had your ability to function normally in society questioned? Put the matter to rest by commissioning a completely non-creepy portrait of yourself and your pet at dogtrots.com.

Soon there will only be Pruno...



So I come across this Yahoo news story, "Michigan to Cut Free Coffee for Inmates," and something told me I knew exactly who was behind it. Sure enough, our man in Lansing is flexing his legislative muscle. As he writes: "I had originally pushed to index the amount spent on inmate food to the amount spent on National Guardsmen's meals. I don't think that we want our prisoners eating better than our troops." Way to keep up the good fight, Mr. Lansing, or at least the entertaining one. We salute you.

A heartfelt congrats goes out to Tim on his engagement to Erin. (While I'm on the topic, a belated congrats to Sarah (& Erik), Guy & Bretigne, and Lindsay & Eddie.) Looks like it's gonna be a good year!

It's the Axis of Evil Typing Game! - almost as good as Typing of the Dead.

Happy Valentine's from ZeFrank

Defaced Art

Check out this Rocky montage spoof via BoingBoing. It's more Jackass than Viv La Bam. More Conan O'Brien that Tom Green. More Trigger Happy TV than Boiling Points. More Jamie Kennedy Experiment than Punk'd. More Buzzkill than Scare Tactics. If you wanted to, you know, fit it into the genre.

Peasant's Quest: The Movie



"A Trogventure for the Whole Trogfamily"

James R Ford undertakes a new project



"Wheelchair-bound physicist Stephen Hawking is known as the 'Master of the Universe' because of his theories about outer space.

"And soon, he'll be the subject of a painting which takes his fragile frame and transforms him into He-Man, the cartoon star of 'He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.'

"Artist James Ford will begin his portrait on Hawking's birthday -- January 8 -- and plans to model it on the animation style of the 1980s 'He-Man' cartoon.

"The painting will even be accompanied by a recording of He-Man's theme song recited by a computerized voice that sounds like Hawking's signature tone."

Ben Cohen is playing with our Oreos



Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry's ice cream wants you to tell your Congressman what you would like the federal government to do with all of your taxes, in cookie form. The game is rigged, though. For one thing, you can't stack more than 50 Oreos in the "Pentagon" column. More importantly, there is no column labeled "Give our $%#@ing Oreos back."

Frozen chicken launchers confirm Australia's bad boy reputation



"Australian police admitted Thursday they were mystified by a spate of apparent attacks on homes using frozen chickens as missiles.

"The case ruffled feathers of senior politicians in New South Wales state, leaving Premier Bob Carr pondering the mysteries of life.

"'One of the things that is interesting about our life here on this planet is that sometimes the unexpected happens and chickens smashing tiles, frozen chicken hurtling through the stratosphere, is one of the mysteries of existence,' he told reporters, tongue-in-cheek."

Bender: Fembots? Methinks a clever Manbot suitably disguised might win those events! But the charade would require subtlety, nuance, grace.





Zimbabwe female athlete 'was man'

One of Zimbabwe's leading junior athletes, who has won several gold medals in women's events, is really a man, police say.

Samukeliso Sithole, 17, has been charged with impersonation.

At her court appearance, she insisted that she was a woman, despite a doctor's report to the contrary.

Ms Sithole said she was born with both male and female sexual organs and a traditional healer had made the penis disappear but it had since regrown.

She told the court that the penis had returned because the healer had not been fully paid for his services.

She said that she had already arranged to pay the healer on 3 March, the day her trial is set to start, and so she expected her penis to disappear once more, according to the state-run Herald newspaper.

Band-to-Band

There go the remains of my productivity... 14 steps from Smashing Pumpkins to the Knack... awesome. In other useless web resources, check out this visual representation of name frequency over the last 100+ years.

Saltology
Saltology is simply Salty terminology!
In da negative; to shakke is to hate, to SALT shakke is to player hate, hence SALT shakkin' is player hatin'.
***NOTE****
(this spelling with double KK's is always & only used in da negative)
In da positive,
What's shakin? means what's up? What's happening? or Where's the party at?
To shake (spelled with only one K) is to show mastery in any skill at all times especially during competition, as in shakin' & groovin'.
U Feel me? I know U do!
So Shake it up!

via Cruel.com

Gives a whole new meaning to "sleeping with the fishes."



Sushi Pillows

Clear as Purple Crayon



This trailer spoof for Star Wars Episode 3 is probably much more entertaining than the actual movie.

Baby got book

When the melting pot asplodes...



Meet Matisyahu Miller, Hasidic Reggae Superstar

There's a right way to play two guitars at once and a wrong way.

I have a totally perverse desire to run out and see Alone in the Dark now that it's gotten a whopping 1% rating on the tomatometer. Here are some choice bits from the reviews:

"The three stars [Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, Tara Reid] have seen better days, but I'd like to think they could still do something classier and more dignified than this. Like gay porn."

"Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV.""

"...films like "Battlefield Earth" and "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" await a film of this magnitude because it gets awfully lonely on the island of misfit movies."

"Actually has an entire group of adults call out to a lost comrade, 'Marco!' What does he expect the audience to do when they hear that? I mean, come on."

Another great viral for VW (although this may not be a hoax): Gene Kelly Pops and Locks

Perhaps the best anti-drug message I've ever seen: Faces of Meth

Backwards Bush Countdown



You'd think the term limits folks would have thought of something like this.

Bunny Suicides

LOTR fan made animated gifs via Something Awful:

Catapult
Catapult 2
LOTR the Short Version

Suicide bomb-proof VW

This story about a "reformed" Falun Gong member scares the bejeesus out of me. I wonder if he starts vomiting whenever Beethoven's Ode to Joy is played.

Get your geek on



As seen on Division of Labour - Nerds with too much money can now telecommute from their Ewok Habitat and, when forced outdoors, can head to Taco Bell late in their very own Badonkadonk.

Who says large scale natural disasters can't be subsidized fun for kids?! Play the FEMA Tsunami game! (link via Drudge)

Simpsons to out a character



"Groundbreaking animated TV comedy The Simpsons will 'out' one of its characters as gay this season, reports The Philadelphia Inquirer.

"Nobody knows who it'll be, and the speculation has seen some big money wagered since the rumours began to circulate in July. Online betting stop BetUS.com says it has taken more than 900 bets so far.

"'It appears that many of our customers have an opinion on who the gay character is,' says Mike Foreman, spokesperson for BetUS.com. 'We've taken more than 900 bets, mostly on Patty and Smithers.'

"But it seems the show, which has courted controversy before, may end up pushing the envelope as far as it can go on this one.

"Some speculate that the Simpsons' devoutly Christian neighbour Ned Flanders may be the one who'll be outed. He's got odds of 15-1, and several large wagers have been placed on his character, which has come as a surprise to the bookmaker."

Tim Minear talks about his latest efforts to adapt Robert Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress for the big screen.

Trump, Burnett assure public they are "not gay"



"Donald Trump is humming a Broadway melody as 'The Apprentice' returns for its third season Thursday. Trump said he and fellow executive producer Mark Burnett are weighing a stage musical based on the NBC reality series about competition among corporate jobseekers.

"'We are really looking at it and we've had a lot of interest from Broadway,' Trump said Tuesday.

"The real estate mogul, known for excess rather than understatement, predicted a musical adaptation 'would be a smash.' The proposal is being shaped, he said, promising more details later."

Most likely to embarass your high school through successful films not involving pornography.



Michael Moore may have an Oscar, but there's one recognition he can't seem to get. Moore has been rejected all four times that he has been nominated for Davison High School's Hall of Fame.

"Would you want him as a role model? Would you want your son or daughter to be like him?" asked Don Hammond, a member of the Hall of Fame selection committee. "I haven't talked to anybody yet who's for him. The word to describe Michael Moore is embarrassing. He embarrasses everybody."

Kudos go out to Mr. Malice who's been getting lots of attention lately for his site, Overheard in New York, and the newly launched Overheard in the Office. The "will you post a link to my site?" days are a now a dim memory of the past. If you haven't already become addicted to these sites, be sure to check them out.

Gem City heroes assist war effort with "sex bomb"



Military experts in Dayton helped crack the infamous Enigma code in WWII, but in the absence of evil Nazi plotting have moved on to subjects that involve more interesting experiment trials:

"The Pentagon considered developing a host of non-lethal chemical weapons that would disrupt discipline and morale among enemy troops, newly declassified documents reveal.

"Most bizarre among the plans was one for the development of an 'aphrodisiac' chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a 'distasteful but completely non-lethal' blow to morale, the proposal says.

"Other ideas included chemical weapons that attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats to troop positions, making them uninhabitable. Another was to develop a chemical that caused 'severe and lasting halitosis,' making it easy to identify guerrillas trying to blend in with civilians. There was also the idea of making troops' skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight.

"The proposals, from the US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, date from 1994. The lab sought Pentagon funding for research into what it called 'harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals.' The plans have been posted online by the Sunshine Project, an organisation that exposes research into chemical and biological weapons.

Spokesman Edward Hammond says it was not known if the proposed $7.5 million, six-year research plan was ever pursued."

Seanbaby on country music



"To be honest, I can’t name a single Dixie Chicks song due to my literacy and the country-music enthusiasm that it prevents, so I am absolutely guessing when I suspect their latest hit, 'Farmy Time Apple Butterin’ (In Your Arms Tonight),' doesn’t have the same energy as their Halloween classic, 'Haunted Hambone Ho-down.' If you’re offended by my insensitivity towards the literacy of country-western fans, you and the other cast members of Hee Haw are, of course, free to send angry letters."

PORG shortage



"Filming of the new series of Doctor Who has been hit by a shortage of dwarf actors.

"Producers needed them to play little blue aliens in the new BBC sci-fi drama, reports the Mirror.

"But most midget actors have already been snapped up for the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie or to play Gringotts Bank staff in the new Harry Potter film.

"Executive producer Russell T Davies said: 'It's very difficult to employ persons of restricted growth when, as our producer Phil Collinson says, `Bloody Gringotts and the Chocolate Factory are filming at the same time.'

"Peter Burroughs, whose Willow Personal Management is one of just two UK agencies for dwarf actors, admitted he had been unable to supply Dr Who with a 3ft 8in star."

Life goes on



Some vacationers go to great lengths to bolster tsunami-battered economies.

Schnappi rocks



"The hottest thing in German music right now is a 4-year-old girl's made-up song about a crocodile.

"Joy Gruttman's song, 'Snappy the Little Crocodile' ('Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil'), is the No. 1 song on the German charts. Her family posted the song on a Web site as a joke, but a radio station in Cologne, Germany, got hold of it and made it a hit.

"Gruttman is the youngest recording artist to make it to the German Top 10, let alone No. 1.

"'Snappy' beat out songs by Kylie Minogue and Linkin Park. The song is even appearing as remixes in German dance clubs."

Spinning teeth now available



For a limited time, get caps for only $32 a piece from TripleX Gold Teeth (as seen in Mad Flava magazine).

"Here you will find a variety of Top Teeth applications as well as Bottom Teeth applications. We have an exclusive line of fine Gold Teeth Wear."

This is only relevant to about three people who read this site, but I'm sharing anyway. Only people who know Tom will understand why this story immediately brought him to mind. They ought to be called Prestin Ants.

Someone has spent way too much time playing foosball.

Don't ever say this blog is useless.

Thanks to someone over at metafilter, I now have all the links I ever need to find smooshed penny collections and penny smooshing machines. I can now join a club and even get my own custom penny. Although I already knew about the museum (someone's basement) in Washington D.C., the website fails to tell you that when you try to actually go there, the proprietors won't be there and will expect you to make arrangements eons in advance to plan for your arrival. Not that I would have obsessively tried to go there or anything.... ho hum...

I'll be back in NY tomorrow. Not long before I'll be on a streetcorner with a cardboard sign reading "The end is nigh!" Yes, folks, I'm outta there in May.

Someone needs to develop a theory or better yet - start a website - about why only second rate celebrities seem to ever be republicans, because aside from Arnie, Bruce, Mel, and my hero, Charlton Heston, there are no outspoken A-listers and they're certainly the exception to the rule. Just to get your wheels spinning: Pat Sajak, James Belushi, Delta Burke, Tony Danza, David Spade, Ted Nugent, Dee Snider, James Woods, Rick Schroder, Dean Cain, Vincent Gallo, Kevin Sorbo, Buddy Ebsen (RIP), Ben Stein, and lastly, Steven Baldwin (Not Alec, not Billy, not even Daniel, no - we're talkin' the stand-in Barney Rubble when Rick Moranis isn't available). There are a few A-listers rumored to be on the GOP-bandwagon (Denzel Washington, Gary Sinise, John Malkovich, David Lynch), and a few whose names don't sound a siren call of lameness (Emma Caulfield, John Rhys Davies, Vince Vaughn), but I have my doubts. And if anyone can spin me a theory on why the GOP has a lock on both super vapid uber-pop couples, Sarah Michelle Geller/Freddie Prinze Jr. & Nick Lachey/Jessica Simpson, I'm all ears.

Taxidermy Federated

(No actual taxidermy or federating involved.)

Maddox adds a brilliant contribution to our cultural zeitgeist with the 11 worst songs of 2004.