Pieces of Flair

I have a totally perverse desire to run out and see Alone in the Dark now that it's gotten a whopping 1% rating on the tomatometer. Here are some choice bits from the reviews:

"The three stars [Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, Tara Reid] have seen better days, but I'd like to think they could still do something classier and more dignified than this. Like gay porn."

"Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV.""

"...films like "Battlefield Earth" and "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" await a film of this magnitude because it gets awfully lonely on the island of misfit movies."

"Actually has an entire group of adults call out to a lost comrade, 'Marco!' What does he expect the audience to do when they hear that? I mean, come on."