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The worst teen movie ever award has to go to Popstar (followed closely by But I'm a Cheerleader--which at least attempted to have a message, if not a moral).
While I have always been anti-Carter--Jimmy, Nick, Aaron, Mrs. Carter (my 8th grade evolution teacher)--I am amazed at how he can go from Liberty's Kids (with a fantastic theme song that cannot be found anywhere--help me!) to this completely inane movie that veers from after school special to Stand and Deliver.
Aaron Carter's ancient Egyptian feminity continually distracts from the barrage of porno-esque elocution by the cavalcade of cookie-cutter, fat-ankled girls that litter this flick like femurs around Angkor Watt.
After an impassioned plea to the teacher, "I'm fired up for tests, he freezes," the climax comes when the young popstar is allowed to take his final math test on the school stage where he lapses into performance delusions and the differential equations pour forth from his pencil.
More inexplicably, a scorned suitoress berates him after he chooses the good girl and becomes so overheated that her water balloon breast implants pop. (I know, it makes no sense even in context.)
Possessing that perpetual puberty gene, Aaron Carter's career can still depend on the mighty pedophile dollar that is no doubt funding his 15 minutes too many career. Unfortunately, this is Tom Bosley's worst career move ever! (How could David the Gnome stoop so low?) He should have just moved to Canada to get free meds instead of whoring himself out for the few dollars he made from this twaddle.
In summation, "testaphobia" will not be the new "fetch".
