Everyday Normal Guy

Credit to Alec.

Black Hole coming to the big screen

Via Newsarama: Charles Burns' Black Hole is supposedly coming to a theater near you...eventually. David Fincher of Zodiac and Se7en fame just signed on to direct the weirdness.

"I'm Old Greg!"

Bible Fight!

Play it here! And if that's not enough to slake your bloodlust, the folks at Adult Swim have also created: "Viva Caligula!" and "Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself)".

Congressional Ballin'

President's Day is overrated; Congress is where it's at:



This (above) combined with this (below) equals awesome.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I think I’m entitled to them.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I want the truth!

Clemens: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has baseballs. And those balls have to be hit by men with bats. Who’s gonna do it? You? You,Congressman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for steroids and you curse HGH. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that HGH, while illegal, probably sells tickets. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, sells tickets…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that mound. You need me on that mound. We use words like fastall, slider, splitfinger…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing a sport. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and falls asleep to the Sportscenter clips I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide them! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and dig in. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: You’re goddamn right I did!!

The inspiration of cheap perfume

Where would rock be without this staple? Who knew the music industry owed so much to Journey? Both questions are equally frightening.

Here's a sampling of the void that would exist without cheap perfume:

- Bobby Borchers, "Cheap Perfume And Candlelight," 1977

"Your prey was out there dressed to kill
In cheap perfume and candlelight"

- Journey, "Don’t Stop Believin’," Escape, 1981

"A singer in a smokey room; A smell of wine and cheap perfume; For a smile they can share the night; It goes on and on and on and on"

- Pavement, "Perfume-V," Slanted & Enchanted: Luxe & Reduxe, 2002

"when it looks life a wife's ex-plot; we'll cover all the rugs with cheap perfume"

- Fall Out Boy, "I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me," From Under the Cork Tree, 2005

"Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's; So fitting, so fitting of the way you are"

- Avril Lavigne, "Everything Back But You," The Best Damn Thing, 2007

"Smelled like cheap perfume; And it didn't smell like you"

- Modest Mouse, "We've Got Everything," We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank, 2007

"Flat Top Tony got all messed up split his lip chasing cheap perfume"

Tentacle Implants

I'm not sure when Tattoos for Toddlers will start offering tentacle implants, but it sure seems like a winning combination to me.

Play it again, Sam...

Via Janet.

Once more with feeling...

Happy Valentine's Day

Love,
PoF

Catholic Costumes for Children

Catholic Costumes for Children not only provides handmade outfits from farm women in Kansas, but it also offers what the site apparently considers anti-pedophilia costume advice:

"if your older boy is portraying St. Isaac Jogues, provide fake bloody fingers - the Iroquois chewed off the Saint's fingers after seeing him offer the Mass because they thought he was performing magic!"

Via The Presurfer.

Do the Lurch

Stolen from Todd.

Lang Lang gets some shoes

Shoe manufacturer Adidas is looking to challenge Nike's success with something known as the "Air Jordan" by carving out a niche shoe for their own:

"Adidas will start selling a Lang Lang line of sneakers next May, and the pianist is already wearing them. They are firm soled, black with gold stripes, and emblazoned (also in gold) with Lang Lang's name along the side."

With any luck, the commercial endorsement will be as successful for the company as when it paired up with the band Korn.

Jesus and Buddha are roommates

Sure, it's no Jesus vs. Vampires, but Saint Young Men - in which Jesus and Buddha decide to take a break together by renting an apartment in present-day Tokyo - gets to say more about holy fashion:

"Perhaps to allow them to blend in somewhat, they are a suitably stylish pair — with Jesus even boasting a T-shirt that boldly proclaims, 'Dad, Me and the Holy Spirit.'"

Just in time for Super Tuesday...nevermind

Harry Shearer's excellent "Silent Debate," courtesy of H&R.

Bonus: "Famed anti-tax crusader" Lady Godiva rides again to endorse Ron Paul!

10 Star Wars Action Figure Look Alikes

Nowadays, it seems like every celebrity under the sun has an action figure. Corey Feldman just got one, and Cary Elwes has one on the way, and if that isn’t a sign of the apocalypse, I don’t know what is. (Granted, it’s for the long overdue The Princess Bride, but still…Cary Elwes!) But what about the toys that unintentionally resemble celebrities? In its early years, the Star Wars line suffered from a lot of terrible likenesses, and while we couldn’t find any that looked like Cary Elwes (although there were too many who looked like Corey Feldman to count), we did find ten figures that were the spitting images of actors they were absolutely, positively not intended to resemble.

Although I found this Topless Robot article via BoingBoing, I was surprised to discover the author is actually by my friend (and high school chum), Zach Oat. Zach has also blogged on the 10 Most Disturbing Smurfs and Iron Man or Downey. Good Stuff.

Of E.D. and outlaw country

A farm boy from the North Carolina mountains, he had found his way into quackery by the time he reached his 20s, and though a brief flirtation with "electric medicine from Germany" -- "injecting colored water into rear ends" -- got him into jail in South Carolina in 1913, he just headed west and bounced right back.

Jonathan Yardley's fascinating book review in yesterday's Washington Post tells the story of Dr. John R. Brinkley, whose "miracle" goat gonad cure and his efforts to advertise it led to the cultural phenomenon of outlaw country and made him one of the worst serial killers in US history.

More on Brinkley here.

Via jeremylott.net.

For Those Not Watching the Superbowl

I'm a little disappointed in a certain Ukrainian ex-pat for not bringing this to my attention sooner. Sadly, Ukraine's Verka Serduchka only took second place in the 2007 Eurovision contest. The Serbs won it with Marija Šerifović's "Prayer" (aka "Snore"). For more on the Eurovision awards, see PoF's 2006 coverage here.
Via WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

I bear-ly love you

Tell your loved one how you really feel this year with Subversive Cross Stitch Valentine kits by Natalie Dee.

Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon

Brilliant.