Lower your seed for the tournament

"'I thought it was a great idea,' says Dr. Brady Walker, 38, one of the institute’s doctors. 'Guys would, electively, never have anybody do anything to their testicles. That’s just the male mentality.'

"But throw in the allure of pizza, a doctor’s 'no-exerting-­yourself' edict and four days of watching low-seeded teams challenge high-seeded teams — and a man’s nobility might soar like Maarty Leunen on a breakaway jam."

UPDATE: In other areas, guns are apparently more of an incentive than b-ball.