Cityrag gives us proof that Ashlee Simpson and David Lee Roth were separated at birth.

I have blog-envy.

"Fancy Some Human Action?"

More K-Fed mockery; Popozao meets Peanut Butter Jelly Time

I sense a new net-meme emerging...

Sleepless in Seattle goes all bunny boiler.

Hans Brix, You Breakin' My Balls!

Updates:

Tarja Halonen wins Finnish election by a margin we can safely attribute to Conan O'Brien, and Our Man in Lansing relays a story that Captain Jackson was arrested on a DUI last month.

Catch Michael Malice on Tucker Carlson tonight. Let's hope he outdoes Jon Stewart's appearance.

We're here to protect you



From DoL: A DEA agent accidentally shoots himself while conducting a presentation on gun safety.

Yum



Steve tracks down a delicious recipe for Kitty Litter Cake.

Song Tapper - tap the spacebar to the rhythm of a song's melody and it will tell you the name of your song. Nifty.

I had to link this after I saw it on Best Week Ever: James Lipton performs a dramatic interpretation of Popozao

Epic 2015

The internets is magic.

Webcomic tattoos



Show your love for Toothpaste for Dinner or Exploding Dog by permanently scarring your flesh!

Why was Jackson such a cool place to drive to from Hillsdale?



Superheroes - Michigan style!

From The Presurfer: "Captain Jackson and The Crimefighter Corps patrol the streets of Jackson, Michigan looking to report and deter crime and educate people about working with the Police.

"CRIMEFIGHTER GIRL, also know as 'JACKSON'S LITTLE SWEETHEART' is CAPTAIN JACKSON'S 15 year old sidekick.

"The QUEEN of HEARTS' goal is to quell DOMESTIC VIOLENCE by teaching our youth and others how to recognize and prevent it."

It's sort of a threepeat: rate your professor + Klevay = rate your Klevay

Post-Easter reading



From Image Comics:

"In the near future, the United States is ruled by bloodsucking vampire hordes. Only one man can end their reign of terror: Jesus H. Christ. A tale of war, love, religion and severed heads, the controversial Loaded Bible answers an age-old question: 'What Would Jesus Do?' Answer: He'd kick vampire ass."

As The Great Curve points out, though, it's going to be hard to top Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

My response to Kirk Cameron.

Cthulhu Circus



"The mash-up the world's been waiting for -- Family Circus comics with captions from H.P. Lovecraft!"

Credit to Klevay.

Just in time for Valentine's Day breakups



"I sent my friends Millie and Ted a card that said, 'I'm sorry....I'm always drunk,' because I puked on their couch last time. What a great way to let them know how sorry I am. Thanks, Cardjackers!"

Don't you wish you had one right now?



Via Mondo Schlocko: Public Service Announcement by the community-conscious John Waters.

North Koreans love the U.S.A.



Talk about an earworm...

"This is a very shocking [and hilarious] anti-American propaganda video which is said to have been made by North Koreans and previously broadcast on South Korean television and Japanese TV."

Durkl t-shirts



"Like most brilliant companies, DURKL was dreamt up over a few sixers of Zima and a pack of Kool's. Finding a word that rhymes with Steve Urkel was tough. We did it though. We simply smashed the word "dogonit" with "urkel" to form DURKL. Its obvious right?

"In early 2004, DURKL set out to design and print shirts that combined whit with iconism with sleek design. As a result, the DURKL lifestyle infected and is still infecting people in the know throughout the world. Our threads can be found all over the US, Australia, Italy, Sweden, England, and North Korea."

For Victor



"JRadio.Net is an internet 'radio' stream of Japanese Christian music, messages and bible readings. Available day or night, anywhere, on any internet connection."

Profs bite back



From DoL: Tired of having drunken idiots size them up (see below), college professors begin rating their students.

Eric gives pointers on achieving academic excellence



A selection from a recent criminal behavior class essay:

"If a rogue knew that they were so incredibly skilled at pickpocketing, so high in rank at their ability, that they only stood a one in twenty chance in being caught at stealing coins from unsuspecting townsfolk, they would be far more likely to do so than if they were a bumbling orc with poor dexterity."

Comments on professor's response to the above:

"Does he mention any of my tangental crap? Nope, he just lists extra junk I didn't mention. I was docked for not mentioning the Scared Straight Program, which had about as much relevance as D&D.

"The moral of the story here is to know how your teacher (or in some cases your T.A.) reads papers. I got A's after this by simply inserting all the possible key terms from the material he could be scanning for instead of actually trying to write a coherent narritive or make any plausable argument."

LARPers prepare to descend upon "Ye Olde Furniture Shoppe"



"IKEA is a fully immersive, 3D environmental adventure that allows you to role-play the character of someone who gives a shit about home furnishings. In traversing IKEA, you will experience a meticulously detailed alternate reality filled with garish colors, clear-lacquered birch veneer, and a host of NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS (NPCs) with the glazed looks of the recently anesthetized."

The Way of the Master



God calls Kirk Cameron to deliver the truth about you.

Cleveland?

Jimmy Kimmel tries to acquire Shatner's kidney stone.

"I gave birth to a little black thing."

"Maybe you can get Angelina Jolie to adopt it."

Terry Tate, Office Linebacker

And now for something completely serious: A Perfect Sandalista Folly

The whole World Social Forum is often called an exercise in anti-globalization, but its very setup belies its message. It relies on Internet, cheap flight routes, easy travel, Wal-mart supplies and all the other things they say they are against. The Mali leg of this event will turn out to be just a rich hippie’s expensive holiday, something paid for by someone else’s bankbook and the global value someone else created.

Credit to Nick.

For fans of Phish or fans of my friend, Scott, do check out his new website all about the creation of a video for an early Phish song that aired once at a live concert in 1991. This is why Al Gore invented the internets people.

Oh Japan, just when I think the internet is starting to bore me, you jump up on stage in a phallic swan outfit, dazzle me with your karate moves, and stage some sort of Godzilla inspired balloon battle between a flock of shrieking Japanese girls and Bob Sapp. Thank you, Japan. Thank you. By the way, who can I lobby to get "Morning Mesume" to start airing here?

Conan O'Brien embraces his roots and plays Finnish politics.

The redheaded late-night talk show host Conan O'Brien has been promoting President Tarja Halonen's re-election bid as part of a long-running joke about their supposed physical similarities.

"Why do I support Tarja Halonen? Because she's got the total package: a dynamic personality, a quick mind, and most importantly — my good looks," the comedian, whose show is broadcast on cable in Finland, said in a statement to The Associated Press.
...
In one show, O'Brien presented a mock ad for Halonen in which he and two Finns were discussing the election while fishing on a frozen lake.

When they talk about rival candidate Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen, a dead fish shoots out of the hole in the ice, prompting a joke about how the mere mention of his name causes fish to commit suicide.

"Fish recognize a bad leader," O'Brien says in broken Finnish to laughter from his studio crowd.

Halonen's opponents are not amused.

"He's just making fun of the whole election," said Harri Jaskari, campaign manager for former Finance Minister Sauli Niinisto. "If this decides the election, then we're in trouble. It gives a very poor picture of Finnish democracy."

More irreligiousness... or something: Jesus Christ the Musical

This is interesting: Atheist Statistics

Sweden is in first? C'mon people! We can do better.

Time to dish up a little Penn & Teller: The End of the World

Breath Capture


Everyone is born with it. A desire to be near the ones we care about most. And we find ways to remember them when they're away. A lock of hair. Letters. An old photo. And now there's Breath Capture™. Capture the breath of a loved one or friend and keep them close. Forever.

Brilliant.

Christian Throwback Jersey: A Proud Sponsor of Jesus

The trailer for Clerks 2 is up.

There's some great stuff over at Patton Oswalt's site. Check out the saga of Johnny Lawrence (aka Billy Zabka who was also paid tribute to on the now defunct Whatever-Dude and many 80's nostalgia sites) and take a gander at the blog while you're there.

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

credit to Radosh via Todd

This reminded me of a link sent around at work a few weeks back: The Chuck Norris Fact Generator (be sure to check out the Top 30)

As long as we're giving them free housing, might as well give them free drinks too.

This seems like a good way to start off the new year: The Edge asks "What's your dangerous idea?"