Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Paula Abdul grosses America out, calls for more regulation

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While some celebrities waste their time on causes like world hunger and disease, Paula Abdul has chosen to address the growing problem of shoddy manicures. Supposedly, she began her testimony with the phrase "There ought to be a law..."

"'American Idol' judge Paula Abdul urged California legislators to force nail salons to clean up their act, testifying Monday about her yearlong health ordeal after an unsanitary manicure.

"'Being a professional dancer, I'm no stranger to pain, but this time the pain was so excruciating that even my hair touching my thumb caused me to scream,' Abdul told the California Senate Business and Professions Committee in Sacramento.

"The legislation, sponsored by Democratic Assemblyman Leland Yee, would establish safety standards for manicure and pedicure equipment and rewrite state regulations mandating that nail shops follow sanitary practices.

"'I was publicly humiliated,' Abdul said in her closing statement. 'That is why with an open heart and a selfless agenda, I implore you to pass this bill.'"