Crochet sea creatures descend upon New York

Via Gooseflesh: The Institute For Figuring is crocheting a coral reef: Using the techniques of hyperbolic crochet discovered by mathematician Dr. Daina Taimina, the Institute has been evolving a wide taxonomy of reef-life forms - loopy 'kelps', fringed 'anemones', and curlicued 'corals.' While the process that brings these models into being is algorithmic, endless permutations of the underlying formulae result in a constantly surprising panoply of shapes."

The Uno

Via LikeCool: "18-year-old Ben J. Poss Gulak invented The Uno. It caught our eyes because it's a one wheeled-looking motorcycle, actually its balanced by two wheels set up side-by-side and its footpegs. Operation of the 54.4 kg (120 lb) machine is simple, in fact it's so simple there are no controls except for an on-off switch. To go forward you simply push your body weight forward to tilt the machine. To back up, just lean back on the seat to tilt it backwards and back it goes."

Another damn videogame movie...

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Yeah, I'd see it.

More fun with pants!

"We have an excellent selection of gentlemen's trousers just in today. This eye-catching pair even has a keyboard sewn into the crotchal region."

Read the actual description here. The phrase "crotch rocking speakers" makes an appearance.

Via Rachael.

Jellyfish robots

Via Ectoplasmosis: "Festo, a robotics company who has previously designed robots based upon the mechanics of sea creatures, has released video of their newest creations. Based on jellyfish the AquaJelly and Air Jelly are sea and air based, respectively.

"The AquaJelly in particular is especially interesting. The idea is that these autonomous robots can communicate with each other and with aquatic charging stations using LEDs, allowing them to replenish their batteries and work in groups, making it much easier for them to wipe out our naval forces once they achieve self awareness."

1. Support 'Net Neutrality' 2. ??? 3. Get laid

But only if you're a virgin. (Site is almost certainly not safe for work.) Who knew public policy could be so sexy?

Via Shaun.

Awesome.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Via Shaun.

Boxloads o' fun

Via Marginal Revolution.

"Charlie Rose" by Samuel Beckett

A little belated...

..but these costumes are awesome.

Polygamy Remixed

Does the Nuvi 200 know something we don't?

Craig was helpful enough to point out Nuvi's downgrade of Hawaii's status in this recent ad. Not that there's anything wrong with supporting Hawaiian independence.

No Shoes? No Problem.

No need to panic if you find yourself without trainers in London these days. However, "[i]f the thought of sticking your dirty-ass feet into a new pair of shoes that you bought from a vending machine because you somehow lost your regular pair of shoes doesn’t appeal to you, then maybe this machine’s not for you."

Full story.

Via Shaun.

When comics meet funnies

Via Newsarama: Evan Shaner re-imagines The Watchmen as a product of Charles Schulz...



...and the Fantastic Four as the brainchild of Hank Ketchum:

Why don't prostitutes get tips?

Via The Perfect Substitute: "Why would it be the case that a prostitute in the spirit of competition not offer potential Johns the opportunity to 'pay' on merit after the transaction? I offer three explanations:

1. The prostitution market suffers from adverse-selection, and Johns are more likely to stiff (pardon the pun) the ladies, making the dominant business model to offer an up-front fee.

2. Consumers would prefer to pay up-front for psychological reasons. When I go to the restaurant and I am considering what the appropriate tip should be, I go through sort of a mental checklist: How was the service? How difficult was I? Did my kids spill drinks on the ground? Did my wife make a complicated order that required lots of amendments? I imagine that Johns would prefer not to reflect on what they just did with a similar checklist just like they may avoid a mirror for some time.

3. Prostitutes can capitalize on a systematic male-ego bias by making them pay first. The male ego says '$xxx sounds reasonable for the hours I am about to have with her' only to then spend a considerably shorter time. If they tipped after the fact they would be tipping on a shorter duration than they would have paid for up-front."

Massage Pants!

Full story.

Via Jacob.

BeefPod

Via TokyoTimes: "The Japanese love of food and fads can only be equaled by the nation’s fondness for fashion, so this new beef-themed beauty from ‘PC Entertainment Company’ Solid Alliance, is possibly the perfect product."

Rock out with Beamz

Via Gizmodo: "We saw the Beamz Laser Music System in pictures last week, but little we knew then how totally demented, how amazingly asstupid and musically retarded this 'synthesizer music system' could be in real life.

"Seriously, I had to check twice to see if this was a Conan O'Brien skit or not. Unfortunately, we knew it's just the worst infomercial and product in the history of the internet, available for $600 on April 15."

Dreadlocks on the rise

"Dreadlocks, sometimes simply called locks or dreads, are interlocked coils of hair which tend to form by themselves, in all hair types, if the hair is washed regularly and allowed to grow naturally without the use of brushes, combs, razors, or scissors for a long period of time."

Dying to know more? Check out Dreadhead Times and then stock up on product at Dread Head HQ.

New Portishead on its way

Via The NYTimes: "on April 29 Portishead releases 'Third' (Mercury/Island), its third studio album and the sequel to 'Portishead,' from 1997. 'Third' is more polymorphous, more extreme, more propulsive and often harsher than previous Portishead albums. Instead of mellowing with age or returning to a signature sound, the band has fractured and splintered that sound, plunging even deeper into loneliness and anxiety."

The album will be streamed free online at LastFM beginning April 21.

Bible History # 1

Warning: Mature, but surprisingly biblically accurate, Content.

"Genesis 19, total insanity!"

From the fellow who brought you Washington.

Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century

"Many of the following pages have graphic and clear images of the masculine mustache in all its forms, both sublime and grotesque. My intent is not to shock or titillate, but merely to inform on the subject. The Nineteenth Century gave us many things, but above all it was a hotbed of facial hair experimentation and this is but a poor sampling of those many lost forms."

Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century: The one-stop blog spot for your Nineteenth Century Mustache needs!

Steampunk Star Wars

This line is my attempt to redesign the Star Wars Universe in a steampunk style. My Star Wars ReVision line took many of the elements of Star Wars and broke them down and amplified them. This line takes some of Star Wars original steampunk elements and is an attempt to create a classic Victorian steampunk look.

Japanese schoolgirl update: Super Pii Pii Brothers

Full story, pervert.

Via Shaun, who is blogging up a storm at his new digs, Websessed.

Kashi proudly unveils cardboard flavor granola bars

PoF News: As part of its "Subtle Variations on a Theme" campaign, Kashi today announced the release of a cardboard-flavored granola bar as the flagship of its line of fiber-based snack foods.

"This is an exciting time," said Jeff Johnson, senior brand manager and nutritionist for Kashi, in a statement. "Our new line has the same cardboard flavor Kashi fans have come to expect in all of our products, but now in tempting bar form."

Stop Uwe Boll?

BloodRayne II: Deliverance director Uwe Boll is fed up with the close to 200,000 people who have signed the "Stop Uwe Boll" petition. Will anyone take him up on his idea for a pro-Boll petition?

Would you rather have Dr. Pepper or Chinese Democracy?

Why not both?

Via Billboard: "The soft drink company says it will give a free can of Dr Pepper to 'everyone in America' if 'Chinese Democracy' arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008.

"'It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love,' Dr Pepper director of marketing Jaxie Alt says. 'So we completely understand and empathize with Axl's quest for perfection -- for something more than the average album. We know once it's released, people will refer to it as 'Dr Pepper for the ears' because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic.'

"Dr Pepper has also launched a blog in conjunction with its offer."

Time to vote

Meshuggah narrowed down the entries in its drumming competition to 11 top videos. Will Lars from Denmark win, or will Yasek from Poland take the prize? Exercise your right to vote!

Bastard Boffins

Via The Agitator.

Bathing John Malkovich

Yet another Radiohead contest

"Radiohead, iTunes and GarageBand are giving you the opportunity to remix the band's new single 'Nude.'

"Finished mixes can be uploaded here where the public will listen and vote for their favourite remix (voting ends May 1st). Radiohead will listen to the best remixes."

Tall bike mania

"Tall bikes can be used for general transportation and recreation, just like other bicycles. Regular tall-bike commuters note that both their increased visibility and the simple 'wow factor' give them a safety advantage in automobile traffic over 'short bikes.'"

Behold: the Bacon Bra!

This lady has taken the next logical step in the the bacon-obsessed lifestyle and made a piece of lingerie out of breakfast meat. We report. You decide.

Via Jacob.

Tron - with cardboard

New Mutual Kumquat out

"We are super excited to share with you our new self-titled CD "Mutual Kumquat!" The 13 track album is our first self produced album recorded by our very own Drue Gray at Good Intentions Studio. True to Mutual Kumquat form, the music draws from many inspirations including bluegrass, jazz and afrobeat."

Cheap Perfume Song-Off closes, Avril Lavigne ecstatic

With no entries in the 2008 Pieces of Flair Cheap Perfume Song-Off, Avril Lavigne breathed a sigh of relief today.

"I'm glad no one chose to water down the message that a select few of us true artists have tried to convey about the dangers of cheap perfume," she said happily at a press conference in Los Angeles. "It means a lot to me that PoF readers were willing to respect the artistic integrity of our work rather than mock the meaning it holds to our legions of fans."

Liberating the manatee within

Via the Christian Science Monitor: "'We're among the biggest fans in south Florida. And I mean that literally,' jokes Joseph Love, as he and his teammates make their way to an upstairs room at Shula's Athletic Club, a private gym in Miami Lakes, Fla., owned by another of the state's sporting giants, Don Shula.

"It is here that the Manatees – named after the plump marine creatures also known as sea cows – have been rehearsing twice weekly for the past five weeks to work on their routines, ready for tonight's season opener against the New York Mets at Miami's Dolphin Stadium. After that, they will perform at every home game on Friday and Saturday evenings.

"The Marlins franchise doesn't refer to them as cheerleaders, but as a 'dance/energy squad' and the first of its kind in Major League Baseball. Trim waistlines and high-kicking skills of the kind displayed by the team's more conventional cheerleaders, the Mermaids, are out. In putting together the Manatees, club officials advertised for owners of 'big bellies with the biggest jiggle.'"

Sexy Milk Jump!

From the same guys who brought you Kanye Hands--these dudes have quite a range.

Kanye Hands

New Annuals out today

Via Filter: "North Carolina sextet Annuals are releasing a new EP entitled Wet Zoo via Canbasback with a new full-length slated for early Fall. The buzz-worthy 'net band continue with their experimental indie-pop combining earthy acoustics with electronic flair."

You can check out the some songs here and here.

Mr. Miro lands recording contract

After stumbling upon a copy of "4-Track Mind," Sony BMG CEO Rolf Scmhidt-Holtz immediately sought out Mr. Miro for a meeting to discuss details of a record deal.

At this time both parties are keeping mum about the exact nature of the contract, but it does appear that fans can expect several new albums under the Sony BMG label in the near future. There are even rumors that Mr. Miro may make an appearance as a guest judge on American Idol. Congrats, Mr. Miro!

Eat bugs for Earth Day

Via The New York Times: "David Gracer eats bugs. Not any old crushed, oozy, sidewalk kind of bug, but insects selected just like any other food — for sustenance and taste. He eats them sautéed, filleted and roasted. And he thinks you should eat them, too.

"Wielding a grasshopper covered in burned caramel, he said: 'Insects can feed the world. Cows and pigs are the S.U.V.’s; bugs are the bicycles.' Provocative as that sounds, insects do meet the test of environmental sustainability: they create far more edible protein per pound of feed as cattle. Moreover, given world consumption trajectories, scientists warn that a complete collapse of global fish stocks is possible in the next 40 years. We might want to hedge our bets. Perhaps then it’s no surprise that the concept of bugs as food is getting serious consideration from the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations."

Cheap Perfume Song-Off Deadline approaches!

This is just a reminder that the deadline for the 2008 Pieces of Flair Cheap Perfume Song-Off is coming up soon! Get your entry in by Noon EST on April 3, 2008 to be a part of the magic. Otherwise, you may have to wait for the Kentucky Hiccup song contest.

Jello Biafra freaks out!

Watch the video here!

Confused? You've just been RickRoll'd, I think. It's what the kids are doing these days.

Here's a video of some dude "liverickrolling" (?) a Scientology protest:



Keeping you up-to-date on the latest memes, just another valuable public service from your friends at PoF.

Props to Shaun.

My (Creepy) Fake Baby

The latest in a long series of fake baby (or pieces thereof) products, the process of making these tots is called "reborning" and it has it's own show!

Get down with The Heavy

According to PopMatters, The Heavy's debut album "kicks Lenny Kravitz’s career to the corner and runs it over a few times for good measure. In one crucial sense, the Heavy are throwbacks. They’ve delivered a bold, uncompromising, barnstorming debut without regard for current trends, fashions, or indie cred. You can dismiss lazy comparisons to Amy Winehouse and 'dirty soul'. The coolest thing about Great Vengeance and Furious Fire is it’s too busy kicking your ass to think about just how cool it is."

You can check out some songs here, or for a while at least, listen to the whole thing.

The Abston Church of Christ

Via Dark Roasted Blend: "Amy Hughes has created a lasting piece of LEGO awesomeness - with incredible amount of detail (every 'special quest' has a story, and the whole thing was created in the loving memory of her cat 'Precious')."

Food fight!

Evidently, this is a recreation of some of the more (in)famous attacks and battles in history.

Reason has the full scoop, but I first spotted it via the excellent new Crispy on the Outside.

Meat candy

"The salty chunks of bacon make a delicious and unique counterpoint to the subtle sweetness of the maple, and oh, yeah- you'll be eating an oh-my-god bacon lollipop!

"A perfect gift for the sweet-toothed pork aficionado in your life."

Too bad they're sold out for the next few months...

Feces-tossing inmates demand tastier meals

"In the latest legal battle over the prison cafeteria standard known as Nutraloaf, the Vermont Supreme Court is being asked to decide whether it's punishment or a method of behavior modification.

"Savory it isn't: It's made of whole wheat bread, nondairy cheese, raw carrots, spinach, seedless raisins, beans, vegetable oil, tomato paste, powdered milk, and dehydrated potato flakes.

"On Monday, the court [heard] arguments in a class-action suit brought by inmates who say it's punishment and that anyone subjected to it should get a formal disciplinary process first.

"'It's commonplace in other states as a way of providing nutrition in a mechanism that dissuades inmates from throwing feces, urine, trays, and silverware,' said Corrections Commissioner Rob Hofmann."

You Suck at Photoshop

Via Laughing Squid: Want to learn how to use Photoshop, loser? Let Donnie Hoyle show you how.

Robots!

Lots of robot news lately: The robotic pack mule featured above; real-life robo-cop some guy built in Atlanta (not as awesome-looking as the movie version, but good effort); and on a sad note this fellow checks out via robot.

Robot reporting: yet another valuable public service provided gratis from the good folks here at PoF.

Even more: Robots in classical art. Via Julian.

How can we afford to do this? Volume, volume, volume!

Terrifying moments in medical malpractice

"Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead" That's an actual headline from Fox News. Upon first inspection I thought someone had sent me a clever spoof, especially because the video feature right next door is entitled: "Is your vagina depressed?" But, no, this is the state of the world we live in. Enjoy.

All apologies for not rappin at you for awhile. I was on the road for the past week, but have returned to supply regular doses of bloggy goodness.

Props to sagefats.

Drew's beard earns whopping 9.9

Via Beard-Revue: "Toothpaste has designed a truly remarkable facial decor.

"The duality of writer vs. cartoonist is clearly represented in his beard. The handlebar alone is worthy of review, but the Amish curtain tips the scales. Usually, the moustache is complementary to the beard. But here two autonomous growths behave in a jaw-dropping symbiotic fashion, where each culture draws equal attention to the greater whole."

Minivan Police!

From the same people that brought you "The Littlest Lawnmower" and "Beatitudo" comes "Minivan Police!"

In the wake of 9/11, law enforcement agencies have shifted their attention away from the War on Drugs to combat the War on Terror. During the heyday of the former, police stations drove flashy Corvettes taken from drug kingpins. Terrorists, however, typically prefer to maintain a lower profile.

Given the number of minivans taken from potential terrorists in Tuscola County, Michigan, the locals made a fateful decision: start up a minivan police squad. While the first cops on duty are reluctant about the job, they soon find themselves bonding over minivan chase stories and enjoying the luxury of their spacious interiors. There will be laughs, there will be tears, but most of all there will plenty of gritty on-the-street minivan action!

Radiohead video contest

While I hate to draw attention away from the PoF Cheap Perfume Song-Off, we can't really compete with a $10k prize.

Lower your seed for the tournament

"'I thought it was a great idea,' says Dr. Brady Walker, 38, one of the institute’s doctors. 'Guys would, electively, never have anybody do anything to their testicles. That’s just the male mentality.'

"But throw in the allure of pizza, a doctor’s 'no-exerting-­yourself' edict and four days of watching low-seeded teams challenge high-seeded teams — and a man’s nobility might soar like Maarty Leunen on a breakaway jam."

UPDATE: In other areas, guns are apparently more of an incentive than b-ball.

Another job idea...

Sorry for the lack of posts. Now working and job-hunting. I also seem to have a steady stream of house guests this month, so no promises for improvement.

Don't make Edward Norton angry

I suppose Tim Roth will serve as enough of an anger-inducing rationale to bring out the Hulk in Bruce Banner. My hope, though, was that the studios would go a more creative route by having the pivotal moment in the film come when Bruce walks into a Brandon Bird gallery show.

Meshuggah video contest

Need a pick-me-up? Good news - Meshuggah's new album is out this week and you can check out some tracks here. They're sure to brighten your day.

Of course, on the off chance you prefer Broadway musicals to death metal, you could check out Meshuggah-Nuns instead.

UPDATE: "You think you can compete with the drumming intensity of MESHUGGAH’s Tomas Haake? Well, prove it! Record your best replication of the track 'Bleed' on video and upload it on your MySpace Video section or YouTube.com!"

Tiki-licious

Isn't it about time you let Henrik Van Ryzin upgrade your beverage container? Even if your conspicuous consumption budget is running low, you can still visit his site and admire the Hawaiian goodness.

Steve from the Sneeze is lucky enough to get his own Sneeze-themed Tiki mug - perhaps a PoF mug is not too far off.

Automato the Catsup Crapper

With Automato it looks as though the folks at MIT are busy advancing robotic technology...or at least the fine art of Chindōgu.

You can get your fill of catsup crap here, here and here.

It's alive!

Not really, but it is pretty cool. I think that Ben Stein as narrator would be the only way to improve this video, but I guess he's busy off fighting "Big Science," whatever that means. (Go ahead, watch the flash intro. I dare you.)

Props to Kevin on the liquid video.

Introducing the Apple iWipe

Via Engadget: "one particular engineering soul figured a spare Macintosh SE case would look a whole lot better in his bathroom than in the trash, so he whipped out a screwdriver, removed some internal brackets and gave the unit a fresh coat of paint. $15 and a few hours later, out popped his new toilet paper dispenser."

Full-length Sigur Ros film on YouTube

"'heima' is sigur rós's first ever film, filmed over two weeks during the summer of 2006 when the band undertook a series of free, unannounced concerts in iceland. they hauled 40-plus people round 15 locations to the furthest flung corners of their homeland for their debut venture into live film, to create something, well, inspirational.

"loosely based on a documentary format - and including personal reflections from the band - 'heima' also serves as an alternative primer for iceland the country, which is revealed as less stag destination-du-jour and more desolate, magical place where human beings have little right to trespass."

Bronze Condoms

If you found one of my bronze condoms, I hope I can persuade you to place it in a new location that you feel it would be beneficial. I only ask that you take a quick photo or two of it in its new home and send them to me in an email, along with a description of its new location.

Via Shaun.

Gygax death outs Tim Carney as dice dork

The trouble with having a bunch of brothers in the journalism industry is that you can never be sure when your past will be used for material. Case in point, Brian Carney's Wall Street Journal column on the passing of D&D creator Gary Gygax, which includes this heartwarming gem:

"But at the risk of sounding like a geek and a curmudgeon at once, in my day we did it the old-fashioned way. In all likelihood we were in somebody's basement, sitting around a table with our dice at the ready and our character sheets in front of us. My brother John was the dungeon master, and he was a good one, too. My brothers -- Mike and Tim -- and I, along with our friends Chris and John (I'll withhold their last names to protect their reputations), spent hours at a time exploring a world that existed only in our imaginations."

UPDATE: Todd contemplates the lasting political impact of D&D by analyzing the Brothers Carney, "or at least a Platonic ideal of each of three of the Carneys," through the lens of Gygax's order/chaos dichotomy.

Mailbox chaos!

Imagine a world where any maniac could design a mailbox without the approval of The United States Postmaster General...if you dare!

The possibilities are too horrifying to ponder long - what about the mailbox/pit bull cage/piranha tank? Or the bucky ball with bonus rotary blades design? I can see the movie version now...a cautionary tale of freedom run amok. Only someone of Charles Band's caliber could bring this subject to the big screen with the right flair!

Wingsuit flying

"Wingsuit flying is the art of flying the human body through the air using a special jumpsuit, called a wingsuit, that shapes the human body into an airfoil which can create lift. The wingsuit creates the airfoil shape with fabric sewn between the legs and under the arms. It is also called a birdman suit or squirrel suit."

You can get yours here.

2008 Pieces of Flair Cheap Perfume Song-Off

Do you love writing songs but lack inspiration? You've come to the right place! Let the subject of cheap perfume be your muse just as such fabled artists as Modest Mouse and Avril Lavigne have.

To prod you along, PoF is hosting its first ever Cheap Perfume Song-Off. Readers can listen and vote to determine who will walk away Winner of the Pieces of Flair 2008 Cheap Perfume Song-Off.

If in the process the PoF Cheap Perfume Song-Off raises some awareness for the Anosmia Foundation, well, all the better.

Need more inspiration? Check out the song-offs from years past: Zombies and Robots!

UPDATE: Song-Off ends with no entries! That means Journey gets all the cheap perfume!

Garfield minus Garfield

Via Drawn!: "It’s Garfield Minus Garfield, a brilliantly surreal remixing of Jim Davis’s ubiquitous comic strip in which the monday-hating cat is removed from the strip entirely. In most cases (though the premise sometimes falls short) it becomes a more surreal, and much funnier strip."

More fun with Garfield.

"Would you like a hair sandwich?"

Any article with a title like that sounds like it might be worth a look and quickly becomes a must-read after this lede: "Like all good stories, this one begins with a bull humping a cow in the middle of the road." Joe Keohane's Slate piece goes on to chronicle the exploits of one Alan Abel: "America's greatest living hoaxer."

The bovine incident above and the horrified reaction of his fellow motorists inspired Abel:

The idea was to write a satire about a group called "The Society for Indecency to Naked Animals," or SINA, which would call for animals to be clothed for the sake of decency. Abel submitted his story to the Saturday Evening Post, but when the editors missed the joke and angrily rejected it, he got an even better idea and founded SINA for real in 1959. The agenda: to get Bermuda shorts on horses, dogs, and any animal taller than 4 inches or longer than 6. The battle cry: "A nude horse is a rude horse!"

Read the whole story.

Comic books that history forgot

Or are they?

Via Julian.

L. Ron's wackiness declared unoriginal

Turns out that after searching out various forms of idiocy, L. Ron Hubbard stumbled upon a German text from 1934 that would seal his destiny - Scientologie.

Apparently, the book was just silly enough and just obscure enough that he could believably pass the ideas off as his own and, with the dedicated service of his trusty Sea Organization, begin spreading the good news.

Mario the player

Mario pre-mushroom kingdom by ~SilentKV on deviantART

Evidently, Mario did pretty well for himself, even before he rescued the princess.

Via Shaun.

Kimmel's Revenge

Bringing home baby

Just one of a series of helpful parenting tips for new parents the world over. Don't let the Spanish throw you off, the title says "Baby care instructions," so you can't go wrong following these simple guidelines for looking after junior.

Props to fellow Hillsdale expat James.

Up up and awaaaaaay......

Via SayNoToCrack

LOLCat Bible

Via PopSci: A couple years ago, a Web sensation was born when a bunch of people started posting photos of cute animals—mostly kittens—doing funny stuff, mostly with computers, and captioning these photos in the weird pidgen of baby talk and IM slang now known as 'lolspeak.'

"Once you’re proficient, you’ll no doubt want to assist in the effort to translate the Bible into lolspeak. Important rule of thumb: Remember that 'God' is translated as 'Ceiling Cat,' as in this passage from Genesis 1:1: 'In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.'"

Not So Square After All.....

Spongebob Squarepants Musical Rectal Thermometer

Via BoingBoing

Everyday Normal Guy

Credit to Alec.

Black Hole coming to the big screen

Via Newsarama: Charles Burns' Black Hole is supposedly coming to a theater near you...eventually. David Fincher of Zodiac and Se7en fame just signed on to direct the weirdness.

"I'm Old Greg!"

Bible Fight!

Play it here! And if that's not enough to slake your bloodlust, the folks at Adult Swim have also created: "Viva Caligula!" and "Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself)".

Congressional Ballin'

President's Day is overrated; Congress is where it's at:



This (above) combined with this (below) equals awesome.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I think I’m entitled to them.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I want the truth!

Clemens: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has baseballs. And those balls have to be hit by men with bats. Who’s gonna do it? You? You,Congressman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for steroids and you curse HGH. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that HGH, while illegal, probably sells tickets. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, sells tickets…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that mound. You need me on that mound. We use words like fastall, slider, splitfinger…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing a sport. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and falls asleep to the Sportscenter clips I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide them! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and dig in. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: You’re goddamn right I did!!

The inspiration of cheap perfume

Where would rock be without this staple? Who knew the music industry owed so much to Journey? Both questions are equally frightening.

Here's a sampling of the void that would exist without cheap perfume:

- Bobby Borchers, "Cheap Perfume And Candlelight," 1977

"Your prey was out there dressed to kill
In cheap perfume and candlelight"

- Journey, "Don’t Stop Believin’," Escape, 1981

"A singer in a smokey room; A smell of wine and cheap perfume; For a smile they can share the night; It goes on and on and on and on"

- Pavement, "Perfume-V," Slanted & Enchanted: Luxe & Reduxe, 2002

"when it looks life a wife's ex-plot; we'll cover all the rugs with cheap perfume"

- Fall Out Boy, "I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me," From Under the Cork Tree, 2005

"Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's; So fitting, so fitting of the way you are"

- Avril Lavigne, "Everything Back But You," The Best Damn Thing, 2007

"Smelled like cheap perfume; And it didn't smell like you"

- Modest Mouse, "We've Got Everything," We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank, 2007

"Flat Top Tony got all messed up split his lip chasing cheap perfume"

Tentacle Implants

I'm not sure when Tattoos for Toddlers will start offering tentacle implants, but it sure seems like a winning combination to me.

Play it again, Sam...

Via Janet.

Once more with feeling...

Happy Valentine's Day

Love,
PoF

Catholic Costumes for Children

Catholic Costumes for Children not only provides handmade outfits from farm women in Kansas, but it also offers what the site apparently considers anti-pedophilia costume advice:

"if your older boy is portraying St. Isaac Jogues, provide fake bloody fingers - the Iroquois chewed off the Saint's fingers after seeing him offer the Mass because they thought he was performing magic!"

Via The Presurfer.

Do the Lurch

Stolen from Todd.

Lang Lang gets some shoes

Shoe manufacturer Adidas is looking to challenge Nike's success with something known as the "Air Jordan" by carving out a niche shoe for their own:

"Adidas will start selling a Lang Lang line of sneakers next May, and the pianist is already wearing them. They are firm soled, black with gold stripes, and emblazoned (also in gold) with Lang Lang's name along the side."

With any luck, the commercial endorsement will be as successful for the company as when it paired up with the band Korn.

Jesus and Buddha are roommates

Sure, it's no Jesus vs. Vampires, but Saint Young Men - in which Jesus and Buddha decide to take a break together by renting an apartment in present-day Tokyo - gets to say more about holy fashion:

"Perhaps to allow them to blend in somewhat, they are a suitably stylish pair — with Jesus even boasting a T-shirt that boldly proclaims, 'Dad, Me and the Holy Spirit.'"

Just in time for Super Tuesday...nevermind

Harry Shearer's excellent "Silent Debate," courtesy of H&R.

Bonus: "Famed anti-tax crusader" Lady Godiva rides again to endorse Ron Paul!

10 Star Wars Action Figure Look Alikes

Nowadays, it seems like every celebrity under the sun has an action figure. Corey Feldman just got one, and Cary Elwes has one on the way, and if that isn’t a sign of the apocalypse, I don’t know what is. (Granted, it’s for the long overdue The Princess Bride, but still…Cary Elwes!) But what about the toys that unintentionally resemble celebrities? In its early years, the Star Wars line suffered from a lot of terrible likenesses, and while we couldn’t find any that looked like Cary Elwes (although there were too many who looked like Corey Feldman to count), we did find ten figures that were the spitting images of actors they were absolutely, positively not intended to resemble.

Although I found this Topless Robot article via BoingBoing, I was surprised to discover the author is actually by my friend (and high school chum), Zach Oat. Zach has also blogged on the 10 Most Disturbing Smurfs and Iron Man or Downey. Good Stuff.

Of E.D. and outlaw country

A farm boy from the North Carolina mountains, he had found his way into quackery by the time he reached his 20s, and though a brief flirtation with "electric medicine from Germany" -- "injecting colored water into rear ends" -- got him into jail in South Carolina in 1913, he just headed west and bounced right back.

Jonathan Yardley's fascinating book review in yesterday's Washington Post tells the story of Dr. John R. Brinkley, whose "miracle" goat gonad cure and his efforts to advertise it led to the cultural phenomenon of outlaw country and made him one of the worst serial killers in US history.

More on Brinkley here.

Via jeremylott.net.

For Those Not Watching the Superbowl

I'm a little disappointed in a certain Ukrainian ex-pat for not bringing this to my attention sooner. Sadly, Ukraine's Verka Serduchka only took second place in the 2007 Eurovision contest. The Serbs won it with Marija Šerifović's "Prayer" (aka "Snore"). For more on the Eurovision awards, see PoF's 2006 coverage here.
Via WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

I bear-ly love you

Tell your loved one how you really feel this year with Subversive Cross Stitch Valentine kits by Natalie Dee.

Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon

Brilliant.