Your colon

Half empty or half full? Depending on your perspective, you might want to consider either a slice of colon cake or a fiber cleanse.

Truth is Stranger than Spam

Good day American taxpayer, complments of the season to YOu. Please allow me to introduce myself I am Mr. Henry PAULSON very high official of United States Treasury of United States, Washington, USA. I please to be writing you this day because someone of our mutual acquaintance Mr. BERNANKE vouch for you as trustworthy and gullible individual of high moral standards.

Through no fault of my own I am come to hard straits and although I am a proud man and father, I must beseech your partnership in resolution, an urgent and vexing matter. Through malfeasance and rascality, certain individuals of my close acquaintance have sabotage national banking system, hence an imminent disaster will befall if I am unable to secure the amount of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S with all utmost haste. This amount is currently being held by millions of fellow Americans but thus far these scoundrels refuse to release the money to me on grounds of that it is not mine infact.

After funds of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S I will forward informations regarding fully protection of all funds, liabilities, equities and other such financial aspects. For now I must ask you to simply place your trust in me as you would a brother, for, are we, all not brothers?

I pray, that this message find it in your heart, to enter in partnership with me in interest of forestalling disastrous circumstance. Should you prefer not to assist me, with funds, I shall direct my I.R.S agents to procure the funds anyway from you, this voluntarily way is more amenable and you will atleast get a SCOOBA mop robot out of the deal, as fate wills it.

Your friend everlasting,

Mr. Herny PAULSON
United STATES Treasure

via Woot

With Apologies to Shatner

With our economy in crisis, the US Government is scrambling to rescue our banks by purchasing their "distressed assets", i.e., assets that no one else wants to buy from them. We figured that instead of protesting this plan, we'd give regular Americans the same opportunity to sell their bad assets to the government. We need your help and you need the Government's help!

Use the form below to submit bad assets you'd like the government to take off your hands. And remember, when estimating the value of your 1997 limited edition Hanson single CD "MMMbop", it's not what you can sell these items for that matters, it's what you think they are worth. The fact that you think they are worth more than anyone will buy them for is what makes them bad assets.

Do not watch on mushrooms

Via Justin, one of the most bizarre things I've seen in quite some time.

Lil' Gordon Ramsay

Brilliant:



Another and another.

Hair products for anarchists

This has been noted elsewhere, but I just came across a bottle of Vo5 recently and couldn't help but be amused by the V for Vendetta-esque logo. "Beneath this hairdo there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof."

Flame on

Via Kung Fu Rodeo: "I’m not sure what part of this is the stupidest - testing flame throwers of any type inside of a garage or mounting them on your wrists, on the palm side no less."

Lazier still

But not as funny. This little gem was posted over at festville, where it was ably spotted by fats. Without further ado:



Check out the sweet dance moves at around 1:54--moonwalkin' for Jesus!

Yeah, I'm Lazy

MEG - Precious @ Yahoo! Video

Not train wrecks, but kind of the same concept

Proving once again that there are folks who have much more time on their hands than us PoFers, may I present: Cake Wrecks!

My favorite entry so far:

"If you prefer to be shot through the heart, though, you could request the "V-neck special" slice from this Bon Jovi cake:"



Via Rachael.

Mythbusters explain CPU v. GPU with paintballs

Comments always open at PoF

Unfortunately, that's not always the case elsewhere, which prompted Victor to put together this little number: "Comments closed." Now all we need to do is post something worth commenting on...

A solution to voter apathy

Maria Elena Salinas writes in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer about her fears for the upcoming presidential election:

"[T]here is something going on out there that concerns me. I have heard too many people say that they are so confused or disenchanted with both candidates that they are thinking not of crossing party lines, but of not voting. Can you imagine?"

Attacking voter apathy is something all party officials seem to agree on, and yet no one seems to have a good answer on how to defeat it. Ironically, the answer has been readily available since at least the 1920's, and it is cheap, easy and reliable.

As Time reports, in its 1924 election, Italy managed to achieve the highest voter turnout rates in its history thanks to the use of a simple home remedy: castor oil.

Perhaps the targeted use of this tool would help Americans finally learn the value of their vote. That way, come November either Obama or McCain will truly be able to claim that they have the people's mandate.

Road trippin' with the Grammar Nazis

"They were Nazis, Dude?"
"Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration [over a split infinitive]! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?"

Ok, so these guys aren't really Nazis, but they are taking a raod trip to fix grammatical, spelling and other sorts of English usage errors, which, in the grand scheme of things, is as good a reason as any to hit the road.

No doubt they're Hillsdale grads.

Via SWPL.

The Furby Gurdy

Via Neatorama: "Link four Furbys together to make a musical instrument! David Cranmer makes custom electronic musical instruments. He’s posted step-by-step process for making a Furby Gurdy, with videos, pictures, and audio commentary."

The best site ever

I think I just found the most awesome site in the history of the internet: http://www.westernwatercolors.com/.

Potassium independence

So far, the U.S. presidential candidates have blown a lot of hot air about energy independence, but have failed to address a much more difficult problem facing Americans: potassium independence. According to the National Academies, "The typical Western diet is high in salt and low in potassium -- the opposite of what evidence shows is optimal for good health and reducing the risks of chronic disease."

I see the major culprit here as Western reliance on foreign bananas. The U.S. accounts for roughly a third of world banana imports, sending untold millions overseas. As early as 1964, Harvard business professor James Houck was ringing the alarm bells about this issue, but his warnings went sadly unheeded. Now, instead of having invested in a substantial domestic banana market, Americans are at the mercy of largely unstable regions.

The only response that makes sense now is to begin a major overhaul of how we produce and consume potassium in this country. To put it bluntly, we are addicted to bananas.

The Linus Pauling Institute reports, however, that prunes and prune juice are a much better source of potassium than bananas. The federal government needs to foster alternative sources of potassium such as prunes by subsidizing their production and launching educational campaigns to help consumers make better choices. Obama and McCain need to support such a plan. Together, we can keep America free.

Jesus brokers dollar store deal for local woman

Via the Richmond Palladium-Item: "I'm so thankful to God that there is going to be a dollar store in Centerville. I have prayed for this for at least two years.

"A couple of times I asked the dollar store in Richmond if they could put one in Centerville.

"Yes! Thank you, Jesus."

Flamingo-Away

Via Neatorama: "Here’s a yard ornament I would proudly display to my neighbors and their ubiquitous flamingos! The Flamingo-Away kit includes two 'Gnome-Be-Gones' and one pink flamingo. Designed by artist Fred Conlon."

Chew your way to a new you

Via DoL: "If you must increase your bust, but gas prices have tapped your plastic surgery fund, there may still be hope. This time you don’t have to go under the knife. Just pop a few pieces of gum in your mouth everyday. Zoft Breast Enhancement Gum, which can be purchased without a prescription, contains Fenugreek Seed Extract, Fennel Seed, and 11 other herbs that the company says will deliver 'larger, fuller, firmer breasts.'"