The dark underbelly of capitalism

Via the Washington Post: "A kids' book doesn't sound like the seed of a multimillion-dollar enterprise, even if it is about the HokieBird, the much-loved mascot for Virginia Tech University.

"It was a simple tale of the HokieBird visiting the main sites on campus, saying hello to everyone, then going home and going to bed. Naren thought every parent who'd graduated from Tech would want one for his little one.

"This year, Mascot Books will have 70 titles, including its first books for NFL football teams. Aimee has created a proprietary character named Cort the Sport, who will be in a series of titles on good sportsmanship. Revenue this year is projected to reach $4 million."

According to a reviewer of Howdy Reveille!, "I'm happy with it because it got my niece to say 'Gig 'Em' and 'Reveille.'"

Nota Bene

My friend, Bretigne, sums up what its like to be an otherwise completely jaded nonvoter now fervently supporting Ron Paul quite nicely:

Like many of his supporters, I don’t agree with Dr. Paul on all of his positions. We part ways on abortion and immigration. But the issues where we do agree are so important and there is so much at stake that our differences are not an impediment to my support. More importantly – and I believe this is one of the greatest keys to his success – I know that his stance on each issue is the product of his genuinely held beliefs. He does not choose his words based on opinion polls or on the fundraising successes they have earned other candidates, but on his own understanding of what is right and what is wrong. Because of this I have unending respect for the man.

Pen spinning!

Via A.R.T.: "Pen spinning is a form of contact juggling that involves the deft manipulation of a writing instrument with one's hands. Although it is often considered a form of self-entertainment (usually in a school/office setting), multinational competitions and meetings are often held."

Toothpaste for Dinner Ultimate Music CD

At only $9.00 a pop, you can do all your Christmas shopping in one fell swoop!

"The Ultimate Music CD is a CD-R which contains 109 mp3 files (320kbps.) It includes 5 full albums, as well as b-sides, and instrumental versions of numerous tracks. I wrote, performed, arranged, and mixed all of these songs myself.

"This is the only place you can get 'Comb Your Beard', 'Charles Has A Licking Problem', and all the other music I've released via YouTube videos in the past year.

"THESE SONGS WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED AGAIN AFTER THE ULTIMATE MUSIC CD IS SOLD OUT. This CD is only being released to ensure that the last six years' worth of music I've recorded will be available directly from me in high-quality format, one last time, for those who want to hear it. I'm done thinking about my old bands and want to give them a proper last release before forgetting about them forever."

Too many ho's

"Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional 'ho ho ho' greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

"Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported."

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

A blog that needs no more explanation beyond its title.

Via Cynical C

Drew responds to Meredith

Where Are The Dogs Humping.com

Model prisoners

PoF News - 2007 marks the 10-year anniversary of Seattle-based bra manufacturer Decent Exposure's innovative partnership with the Washington State Department of Corrections. Offenders staying at the Helen B. Ratcliff Work Release site are given the opportunity to consider a successful transition back to the community through a career in modeling. As the above photo illustrates, the program is meeting or exceeding the community's expectations.

Do you speak Hopelandic?

"[Sigur Ros] front man Jon Birgisson usually sings in one of two languages: Icelandic or 'Hopelandic,' a gibberish he made up that lacks vocabulary and grammar. It's unclear if any of these songs are in Hopelandic, since I don't speak Icelandic; it's all a bit nonsensical to my ear."

In the mood for nonsense? Check out "Hvarf/Heim."

Everything you always wanted to know about rennet*

*but were afraid to ask.

Thanks to Dr. Fankhauser, you can find what you've been looking for:

"Presumably, the first cheese was produced by accident when the ancients stored milk in a bag made from the stomach of a young goat, sheep or cow. They found that the day-old milk would curdle in the bag (stomach), yielding solid chunks (curds) and liquid (whey). Once they discovered that the curd-chunks could be separated out and dried, they had discovered a means by which milk, an extremely perishable food, could be preserved for later use. The addition of salt was found to preserve these dried curds for long periods of time.

"At some point, someone discovered that the most active portion of the young animal's stomach to cause curdling was the abomasum, the last of the four chambers of the stomach of a ruminant animal. (In sequence, the four chambers are rumen, reticulum, omasum and abomasum.) In particular, the abomasum from a suckling kid or calf was especially active. The abomasum was cut it into strips, salted and dried. A small piece would be added to milk in order to turn it into curds and whey."

Too good to be true

You've probably been a big fan of end times prophet Salem Kirban for a while now. But who can afford access to all of his great materials? The novel 666, for instance (from which the above photo is taken), was called by one reviewer "Possibly the Worst Book Ever Written." Well, now you're in luck. For a limited time, Kirban is offering a fantastic package deal:

"I WOULD LIKE TO SEND YOU A generous ASSORTMENT of both my Mini-Books and Newsletters both on Bible prophecy and Alternative health...a $25 value...FREE!

"To receive my free assortment of Mini-Books and Future Events Newsletters... Just send $3 to partially cover shipping costs.

"Respond in the next 5 days... and we will include an extra surprise!"

Reader Poll

So... since I gave Ron Paul a campaign donation today, do you think he'll accept my invitation to be LinkedIn or am I still only at MySpace friend status?

/still can't believe I just donated money to a political candidate

If Frank Miller wrote American history

Honeycrisp time

Monoculture farming has gotten a lot of bad press of late, but I'm guessing its detractors haven't had the pleasure of eating a Honeycrisp apple. The experience is enough to make a convert of any holdout.

Sure, in the era of cider mill fodder such as Jonagolds and McIntoshes, it made sense to seek out the occasional Braeburn or Pink Lady to spice things up, but the arrival of the Honeycrisp signals the dawn of a new golden age of apple eating delight. Hand over that Red Delicious, pal, you've suffered enough.

Dracthulhu

Celebrate Halloween with a limited edition Dracula Cthulhu plush, from the folks that brought you the Cthulhu Christmas Wreath and fanny pack.

Paul Newman on tossing salads

Not since the T. Rowe Price family goatse has a product aimed at a family audience so undermined family values:

From the back of the bottle of "Newman's Own Family Recipe Italian" dressing comes an intriguing tale of the dressing recipe's origins: "After 10 years of intermittent salad-tossing and some cross-dressing, Cardinal Newmanelli the Just brought the warring factions to the table and mediated a salad dressing combining the best features of both."

I am the condom friend ever useful to you.

Are you having a laugh?

People magazine is not usually known for its investigative reporting, but the cover of this recent issue seems to indicate a new commitment to revealing the truth - at least about George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey.

Honktastic

No doubt in an effort to improve property values, one of my neighbors recently installed a "Dukes of Hazzard" car horn on his monster truck. I now have the pleasure of hearing the familiar ditty each time he pulls into or out of his driveway.

This got me thinking - if I wanted to show some solidarity, where could I pick up a novelty car horn of my very own? Thankfully, there's the internet. Now all I have to do is choose a song everyone in the neighborhood will appreciate. It's tough, but I'm trying to decide between the Macarena or Hava Nagila.

Pizza party

Steve from the Sneeze finds out what happens when you order a pizza with nothing but beef pellets:

"Regardless of your feelings about Domino's, the fact that you can order it online without having to talk to a human being is fantastic.

"But I also love the amount of control they give you. Beyond choosing your crust, each topping comes with your choice of 'light,' 'normal,' or 'heavy.' Just like tampons. (Am I right, ladies?)

"But what I've become obsessed with is that when you only want a particular topping on half of your pizza, they make you specify WHICH HALF. LEFT or RIGHT.

"They also offer a 'NONE' option on all toppings. It's even available on the 'CHEESE' and 'SAUCE' rows -- so just to be a dick, I also ordered a 6-inch individual 'NONE' pizza with BEEF (on the left).

"[T]he little beef pellets didn't have any sauce or cheese to hang on to, so a few lost their footing from the left half.

"Unfortunately it was too late for me to call and request that someone come back to my house to rotate the pizzas and re-position my beef pellets."

What's Victor Been Up To Lately?

Makin a little ditty known as Fat Camp Lap Dance.

Eyeball Tattooing

“It’s one of the oldest forms of tattooing,” says Shannon. “There are medical reports on it from that era that are all positive. They basically say it’s safer than regular tattooing. That’s one reason we felt fairly secure moving forward with this – we felt that if they could do it in 1900 and not have any problems then we should be able to do it now.”

And it’s also done on unsighted eyes reasonably often; it’s not uncommon for people who are blind or have various deformities in their iris to have a doctor touch it up with a tattoo.

Become a global loan shark

Via Smithsonian: "Matt Flannery, 30, co-founded the non-profit Kiva.org, a microlending site, in 2004. Kiva operates on a people-to-people model, allowing private individuals to make loans to borrowers seeking to establish small businesses in developing countries."

One common concern among lenders is whether Bono will launch a Kiva-Jubilee campaign right after they send 25 bucks to Tajikistan.

Girly Man!

Here's a little Halloween preview. Don't ask why it's awesome, it just is.
Via Cynical C (and some collection of Thriller videos promoting a world-wide Thriller dance attempt on October 27.

Tired of Being Pasty? Get a Racelift!

 
Before                After

Just trying to blend in.

Francois Muhammed Al-Deayea

We are a group of Ivy League trained professionals specializing in (F.A.T.) Face Altering Technologies.

At IERM, we know how important it is to you that your RACELIFT looks and feels real. We understand both the physicial and psychological concerns of getting a RACELIFT and offer a supportive environment in which you and your loved ones can comfortably explore your new ethnic group.

IERM not only unifies the accelerated advancements in science and technology but also explores the inherent human desire to improve one's quality of life.

Ministry of oblivion

PoF News - During the heyday of the Social Gospel era, it is a little known fact that a small congregation in upstate New York chose a different path than advocating temperance. Believing they were called to fulfill Scripture, the church focused its mission on the Biblical foundation of Proverbs 31:6-7:

"Give strong drink to one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress;
let them drink and forget their poverty, and remember their misery no more."

Sadly, after the members began to grow miserable in the face of their overwhelming task they increasingly took up their own remedy and the movement faded into obscurity. Can we yet usher in The Christian Century through similar means? Fire up the stills!

Thanks for the inspiration, Craig.

Isis pays tribute to Madonna

Isis fans should be pleased to hear that the band is set to release a new box set in honor of their 10-year anniversary. Fans might be surprised to discover, however, the influence the Queen of Pop has had on the band.

Thanks to lead singer Aaron Turner's new art blog, Feral Pig, it's possible to get a taste of the artwork for the upcoming set. It seems there is a clear, although subtle, nod to Madonna's "Immaculate Collection":

I Wonder What Susan Powter Had for Breakfast...

66 Celebrities that blog. Who knew so many of them were literate?

Science declares human-robot marriage imminent

Via MSNBC: "'My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots,' artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience. Levy recently completed his Ph.D. work on the subject of human-robot relationships, covering many of the privileges and practices that generally come with marriage as well as outside of it.

"At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, 'but once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon,' Levy said.

"'One hundred years ago, interracial marriage and same-sex marriages were illegal in the United States. Interracial marriage has been legal now for 50 years, and same-sex marriage is legal in some parts of the states,' Levy said.

"'The question is not if this will happen, but when,' Levy said. 'I am convinced the answer is much earlier than you think.'"

Credit: Klevay.

Do they come in Nugent Zebra camo?

Don't let those deer know you're packing: "Ever been on a tree stand, or a mountain top or stream and wished you had you Bible along for meditation?" Your troubles are over, thanks to Christian Outdoorsman.

Credit: Brian.

Who Says the Internet Has Gone Stale?

Nadshot - a blog devoted to comic book characters getting hit in the crotch. via Newsorama.

Potatoheads

A nifty gallery of tatoe-head ingenuity.

The Ronald Arnett Challenge

I was so impressed with Duquesne University Communication Department Chair Ronald C. Arnett's ability to repeatedly work in the phrase "world come of age" in chapter 2 of his book Dialogic Confession: Bonhoeffer's Rhetoric of Responsibility, that I started to count up the number of times. I came up with a total of 19 times in a 23 page chapter.

As I was to discover, though, this was just an appetizer. The main course was chapter 3, where Arnett pulled off an astonishing 39 "world come of age" mentions in a mere 20 pages. Did some sort of late night bar bet lead to this? I hope he won, if that's the case.

The whole incident got me thinking, though: are there other academics out there who engage in similar tomfoolery and shenanigans? The way I see it, Arnett has thrown down the gauntlet. Therefore, PoF is hosting the Ronald Arnett Challenge. There are three ways to win:

1) submit an author's work with a higher number of repeated phrases in a single chapter
2) submit an author's work that contains a higher per page count of repeated phrases in a single chapter
3) the ultimate victory: combine 1 & 2 above

Who is brave enough to accept the challenge?

New Band of Horses

Via NPR: "'Everything All the Time,' the debut album from Band of Horses, appeared on many critics' year-end Top 10 lists in 2006. For their follow-up, the band's members decided to start over."

Don't want to shell out a shilling for Radiohead? You can listen to the new Band of Horses release, "Cease to Begin," here.

How much is the new Radiohead worth to you?

Via The Chicago Tribune: "How much is a CD worth to you, and, bigger picture, how much is the effort musicians put into making a CD worth?

"Those provocative questions -- a direct challenge to the evolving Internet and cultural norm of treating music as a free commodity -- are posed by Radiohead, the critically-acclaimed English band, in making its new disc, 'In Rainbows,' available for download Oct. 10 at whatever price you want to pay."

According to Klevay, "I ain't gots the technology to appreciate that particular format, so I wasn't planning on buying it. It took me a million years to download that tribute album to OK Computer, and I don't need to do that again any time soon.

"If I were you, I'd pay them one shilling."

Free Art

I was trolling around on the Denver Art Week website looking for something interesting to do, when this ad caught my attention:

Fortune Cookie Art

Date: 10/5/2007-10/12/2007
Category: Visual Arts & Galleries
Neighborhood: Downtown/LoDo

Description: Independent artists around Denver are placing art everywhere during Arts Week. Look for art by local artists on buses, buildings, the homeless, bar coasters and fortune cookies. Magnet Mafia are "Throwing Down" magnet art on anything metal so keep your eyes open for collectable pieces. Haikus are written and put in fortune cookies for distribution at Chinese restaurants, take outs and delivery during the Denver Art Week.

Location:
Denver Art Infestation 2007

Best idea ever, except for maybe Lollilove.

Nachfolge

In the tradition of Beatitudo comes Nachfolge, Christianity's answer to the popularity of death metal. The German band relies heavily on the work of theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer for inspiration, as such early hits as "Every call of Christ leads into death" and "Suffering is joy" attest.

Hardcore fans of the genre remain skeptical, however. "Any self-respecting death metal band has to have at least one umlaut," comments David St. Hubbins.

Reason TV Sneak Peak

Reason is launching a new TV show: The Drew Carey Project. The preview is pretty sketchy, but it's available with the password "sizzle" until next week (or until someone rips it and posts it on YouTube).

Macaulaeus Culkin

Thanks to Vicipaedia you can have access to the same reliability you've come to expect from Wikipedia, but from a far smaller pool of contributors - latin scholars. The pages are filling up in order of interest among these folks, which raises the question of why Macaulay Culkin is one of a select few biographical entries:

"Quandum has filmas fecit, erat amicus Michael Jackson. Ut Michael Jackson, Macaulaeus puer erat persona magnae celebritatis; pueritiam usitatam non habuit, et pater erat arrogans et insolens."

When Video Games = Over-Exertion...

Get your own Halo 3 Asmthma Inhaler! Blatantly stolen from Dan Radosh who has a number of Halo3 posts up over at his blog (partly in response to his NY Times piece on the same) and a nice post on the efforts by Christians to co-opt the game for its clearly Christ-inspired themes.

Increase your posting efficiency

Via Drawn!: Do you find yourself having difficulty explaining complicated subjects - such as how Superman shaves - in your blog posts? Perhaps you should consider Sketchcast, which adds all the efficiency of Pictionary to your online journaling.

Peteena

Mattel's been doing a lot of apologizing of late, but that's not the only company that owes us an explanation.

In an apparently acid-induced moment of inspiration during the 1960s, Hasbro inflicted upon the youth of America a half-woman, half-dog toy figure named Peteena. An understandably disturbed public failed to buy into the concept, and Peteena was quickly removed from the shelves. According to Peteena's website, to this day the company refuses to acknowledge their role in the debacle.

Thanks for the heads up, Brian.

Hulk Hogan to unite America with towels

Heedless of the effects of butterflies flapping their wings and causing hurricanes, backers of unity in the U.S. are pushing a national towel-waving day:

"Bruce Johnson, a former disc jockey who delivers local fruit and vegetables, and John Maielli, who has a silk-screening and painting business -- came up with a wildly ambitious plan for national reconciliation.

"What the country needs, they thought, was a unifying, rally-like event that would be free from politics and in which everyone could participate. Waving a towel seemed perfect. 'A certain amount of energy is released when you wave a towel,' explains Mr. Johnson. It's democratic. It doesn't require skill or money. Wavers feel kinship with fellow wavers.

"As the event was envisioned, millions of Americans across the country would participate in a National Wave, simultaneously twirling above their heads a red, white and blue towel called the 'Official Uniting Towel of America.' Organizers picked Friday, July 4, 2008, when people are more inclined to feel patriotic.

"'We needed a spokesperson,' says Mr. Johnson. The group wanted someone not associated with a political party, popular with young and old, and known for helping charities. Several names were bandied about. Michael Jordan and Terry Bradshaw were two. 'The one we kept coming back to was Hulk Hogan,' says Mr. Johnson."

Via the WSJ.

Live Action Donkey Kong

I dunno if this is all that great, but it gives me an excuse to put in a good word for King of Kong. Although I wouldn't call it a documentary for the same reasons I wouldn't call a Moore film a documentary, its still a good time.

God responds to lawsuit

"God has apparently responded to a lawsuit filed by a Nebraska lawmaker, and one of the filings seems to have dropped in from the heavens. 'This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here -- poof!' said John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

"The response was one of at least two to a lawsuit filed against God last week by state Senator Ernie Chambers of Omaha, the state's longest-serving lawmaker.

"Signed by 'God,' the response filed Wednesday argues the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction over God."

Will Chuck Norris Blend?

Untapped Calvin peeing niche

Think The Message is a travesty? Hate the NRSV? Then it's time you sent those bible translators a message of your own: slap a sticker on your car window of Calvin taking a leak on their misguided effort.

Homeless Karaoke

Putting the Barry White "Anyone Can Be Sexy If They Can Sing Sexy" Principle to the ultimate test.

Blow it out your yard arm... er something

It's that day again. You know the one.

Hydrocolloid recipes - eat up!

If you've always wanted to know how to make Hot lobster gelatin or Foamy hot ginger mayonnaise foam, then this is the book for you:

"In the recent years there has been a tremendous interest in molecular gastronomy. Part of this interest has been directed towards the 'new' hydrocolloids. The term 'new' includes hydrocolloids such as xanthan which is a result of relatively recent research.

"A hydrocolloid can simply be defined as a substance that forms a gel in contact with water. Such substances include both polysaccharides and proteins which are capable of one or more of the following: thickening and gelling aqueous solutions, stabilizing foams, emulsions and dispersions and preventing crystallization of saturated water or sugar solutions."

Leave Chris Crocker Alone

Yet one more reason to love Seth Green and The Soup.

Because she's not well right now...

via Cruel.

UPDATE: Crocker signs reality TV show deal, claims he is "the key to world peace."

Yet another singer-songwriter

"Reminiscent of Led Zeppelin's atmospheric, raga-style acoustic music and Nick Drake's ruminative guitar excursions, [Scott] Matthew's songs soothe and charm, like a warm wind off the Ganges. Indian tablas, Middle Eastern-flavored strings, and his own, rootsy slide guitar cast a spell that, happily, doesn't let up until the final track fades. Standout songs include the rocking title tune, the winsome 'City Headache,' and Matthew's lovely 'Elusive,' recipient of Britain's coveted Ivor Novello Award for Best Song of 2007. Time to make the acquaintance of this gifted stranger."

You can check out the album "Passing Stranger" here.

Kleenex experts conquer human will

"Each year color experts gather to identify new palettes that will influence the mass market. Today's popular colors... citron, melon, aqua, violet... are more complex than previous primary colors and are often juxtaposed into unexpected and intriguing color combinations."

The above description, printed on every box of new Kleenex Expressions tissues, may lead you to ask the following:

- Who are these "color experts"?
- Where is it that they gather?
- How do they "identify new palettes that will influence the mass market"?
- Why would any company print this statement on their product?

Don't bother asking, though. Mere reason cannot compete with the seductive lure of such unexpected and intriguing color combinations.

Designer Waterbutts

The new Butt Butt has been designed for Straight plc by Gerardine & Wayne Hemingway. Keen to develop something new and contemporary the Butt Butt was conceived, which has the unique feature of being in the shape of a human bottom.

The Butt Butt, however, has the advantage of being both a practical rainwater collection container and a fun eye catching feature in any garden.

via Presurfer

The Mayo Margo

Whip up a batch of this sure-fire crowd-pleaser for your next gathering: "'Mayogarita,' a white drink with a hint of the creamy dressing, is one of several cocktails Nakamura serves in his 'Mayonnaise Kitchen' restaurant in suburban Tokyo, which features mayonnaise on everything from toast and spaghetti to fondue.

"Despite its Western heritage, mayonnaise has become the condiment of choice for many young Japanese, who add it to everything from sushi, noodles and tempura.

"While older Japanese might gag at the thought of mayonnaise on rice or savory pancakes, the young are slathering it on.

"They even have a name for mayo fanatics: 'mayolers.'"

Via Grow a Brain.

Maasai Hands Free Phone

Cardboard Tube Fighting League

Via The Seattle Times: "Robert Easley, clipboard in hand, kept track of the duels. He's been tube fighting since he was 4.

"He said he organized the Cardboard Tube Fighting League because 'everybody's got a story of being young and having a cardboard tube in their hand, pretending it's a sword — and really liking it. It seemed like a great way to get people out and play.'"

Show off your tats and win!

It's time for the TFD / ND / MTTS Contest 2007!

"The sooner you send your entry in, the better. To make this fun and easy for everyone, please refrain from sending in joke/garbage entries. If you send me crap as a contest entry, you will not win a prize, and I might photoshop a big weiner next to your face like you're about to lick it, and email it to your mom. Thanks!"

The Law of Rock

Thanks to Josh Keesan, "you can learn complex legal doctrines through...digestible pop-rock gems." You can hear some of the tunes, such as "Promissory Estoppel" and "Sherwood v. Walker" at his MySpace page.

Hoff proves that America's Got Talent

New Ben Harper

Fans can burn one down and listen to "Lifeline."

T-Shirt contest winner announced!

And the winner of the 2007 Pieces of Flair T-Shirt Art Contest is...Mr. Miro!



Given that there were no other entries, Miro wins by default. Taking the message of his own t-shirt to heart, Mr. Miro submitted a small, grainy photo of his ex-wife for the "Hell isn't other people...it's you" t-shirt. At this point, the question is whether he actually wants a t-shirt printed up with his winning graphic included...

Looking for more than just Youtube?

Try Truveo: "This week, I tested four video-search engines, including revamped entrant Truveo.com, a smartly designed site that combs through Web video from all sorts of sources ranging from YouTube to broadcasting companies. Truveo, a subsidiary of AOL, is stepping out on its own again after spending three years in the background, powering video search for the likes of Microsoft, Brightcove and AOL itself. It unveiled its new site last week, though I've been playing with it for a few weeks now.

"This Web site, www.truveo.com, operates under the idea that users don't merely search for video by entering specific words or phrases, like they would when starting a regular Web search. Instead, Truveo thinks that people don't often know what they're looking for in online video searches, and browsing through content helps to retrieve unexpected and perhaps unintended (but welcome) results. I found that, compared with other sites, Truveo provided the most useful interface, which showed five times as many results per page as the others and encouraged me to browse other clips.

"In effect, Truveo combines the browsing experience of a YouTube with the best Web-wide video-search engine I've seen."