Not since the T. Rowe Price family goatse has a product aimed at a family audience so undermined family values:
From the back of the bottle of "Newman's Own Family Recipe Italian" dressing comes an intriguing tale of the dressing recipe's origins: "After 10 years of intermittent salad-tossing and some cross-dressing, Cardinal Newmanelli the Just brought the warring factions to the table and mediated a salad dressing combining the best features of both."