Dracthulhu

Celebrate Halloween with a limited edition Dracula Cthulhu plush, from the folks that brought you the Cthulhu Christmas Wreath and fanny pack.

Paul Newman on tossing salads

Not since the T. Rowe Price family goatse has a product aimed at a family audience so undermined family values:

From the back of the bottle of "Newman's Own Family Recipe Italian" dressing comes an intriguing tale of the dressing recipe's origins: "After 10 years of intermittent salad-tossing and some cross-dressing, Cardinal Newmanelli the Just brought the warring factions to the table and mediated a salad dressing combining the best features of both."

I am the condom friend ever useful to you.

Are you having a laugh?

People magazine is not usually known for its investigative reporting, but the cover of this recent issue seems to indicate a new commitment to revealing the truth - at least about George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey.

Honktastic

No doubt in an effort to improve property values, one of my neighbors recently installed a "Dukes of Hazzard" car horn on his monster truck. I now have the pleasure of hearing the familiar ditty each time he pulls into or out of his driveway.

This got me thinking - if I wanted to show some solidarity, where could I pick up a novelty car horn of my very own? Thankfully, there's the internet. Now all I have to do is choose a song everyone in the neighborhood will appreciate. It's tough, but I'm trying to decide between the Macarena or Hava Nagila.

Pizza party

Steve from the Sneeze finds out what happens when you order a pizza with nothing but beef pellets:

"Regardless of your feelings about Domino's, the fact that you can order it online without having to talk to a human being is fantastic.

"But I also love the amount of control they give you. Beyond choosing your crust, each topping comes with your choice of 'light,' 'normal,' or 'heavy.' Just like tampons. (Am I right, ladies?)

"But what I've become obsessed with is that when you only want a particular topping on half of your pizza, they make you specify WHICH HALF. LEFT or RIGHT.

"They also offer a 'NONE' option on all toppings. It's even available on the 'CHEESE' and 'SAUCE' rows -- so just to be a dick, I also ordered a 6-inch individual 'NONE' pizza with BEEF (on the left).

"[T]he little beef pellets didn't have any sauce or cheese to hang on to, so a few lost their footing from the left half.

"Unfortunately it was too late for me to call and request that someone come back to my house to rotate the pizzas and re-position my beef pellets."

What's Victor Been Up To Lately?

Makin a little ditty known as Fat Camp Lap Dance.

Eyeball Tattooing

“It’s one of the oldest forms of tattooing,” says Shannon. “There are medical reports on it from that era that are all positive. They basically say it’s safer than regular tattooing. That’s one reason we felt fairly secure moving forward with this – we felt that if they could do it in 1900 and not have any problems then we should be able to do it now.”

And it’s also done on unsighted eyes reasonably often; it’s not uncommon for people who are blind or have various deformities in their iris to have a doctor touch it up with a tattoo.

Become a global loan shark

Via Smithsonian: "Matt Flannery, 30, co-founded the non-profit Kiva.org, a microlending site, in 2004. Kiva operates on a people-to-people model, allowing private individuals to make loans to borrowers seeking to establish small businesses in developing countries."

One common concern among lenders is whether Bono will launch a Kiva-Jubilee campaign right after they send 25 bucks to Tajikistan.

Girly Man!

Here's a little Halloween preview. Don't ask why it's awesome, it just is.
Via Cynical C (and some collection of Thriller videos promoting a world-wide Thriller dance attempt on October 27.

Tired of Being Pasty? Get a Racelift!

 
Before                After

Just trying to blend in.

Francois Muhammed Al-Deayea

We are a group of Ivy League trained professionals specializing in (F.A.T.) Face Altering Technologies.

At IERM, we know how important it is to you that your RACELIFT looks and feels real. We understand both the physicial and psychological concerns of getting a RACELIFT and offer a supportive environment in which you and your loved ones can comfortably explore your new ethnic group.

IERM not only unifies the accelerated advancements in science and technology but also explores the inherent human desire to improve one's quality of life.

Ministry of oblivion

PoF News - During the heyday of the Social Gospel era, it is a little known fact that a small congregation in upstate New York chose a different path than advocating temperance. Believing they were called to fulfill Scripture, the church focused its mission on the Biblical foundation of Proverbs 31:6-7:

"Give strong drink to one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress;
let them drink and forget their poverty, and remember their misery no more."

Sadly, after the members began to grow miserable in the face of their overwhelming task they increasingly took up their own remedy and the movement faded into obscurity. Can we yet usher in The Christian Century through similar means? Fire up the stills!

Thanks for the inspiration, Craig.

Isis pays tribute to Madonna

Isis fans should be pleased to hear that the band is set to release a new box set in honor of their 10-year anniversary. Fans might be surprised to discover, however, the influence the Queen of Pop has had on the band.

Thanks to lead singer Aaron Turner's new art blog, Feral Pig, it's possible to get a taste of the artwork for the upcoming set. It seems there is a clear, although subtle, nod to Madonna's "Immaculate Collection":

I Wonder What Susan Powter Had for Breakfast...

66 Celebrities that blog. Who knew so many of them were literate?

Science declares human-robot marriage imminent

Via MSNBC: "'My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots,' artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience. Levy recently completed his Ph.D. work on the subject of human-robot relationships, covering many of the privileges and practices that generally come with marriage as well as outside of it.

"At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, 'but once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon,' Levy said.

"'One hundred years ago, interracial marriage and same-sex marriages were illegal in the United States. Interracial marriage has been legal now for 50 years, and same-sex marriage is legal in some parts of the states,' Levy said.

"'The question is not if this will happen, but when,' Levy said. 'I am convinced the answer is much earlier than you think.'"

Credit: Klevay.

Do they come in Nugent Zebra camo?

Don't let those deer know you're packing: "Ever been on a tree stand, or a mountain top or stream and wished you had you Bible along for meditation?" Your troubles are over, thanks to Christian Outdoorsman.

Credit: Brian.

Who Says the Internet Has Gone Stale?

Nadshot - a blog devoted to comic book characters getting hit in the crotch. via Newsorama.

Potatoheads

A nifty gallery of tatoe-head ingenuity.

The Ronald Arnett Challenge

I was so impressed with Duquesne University Communication Department Chair Ronald C. Arnett's ability to repeatedly work in the phrase "world come of age" in chapter 2 of his book Dialogic Confession: Bonhoeffer's Rhetoric of Responsibility, that I started to count up the number of times. I came up with a total of 19 times in a 23 page chapter.

As I was to discover, though, this was just an appetizer. The main course was chapter 3, where Arnett pulled off an astonishing 39 "world come of age" mentions in a mere 20 pages. Did some sort of late night bar bet lead to this? I hope he won, if that's the case.

The whole incident got me thinking, though: are there other academics out there who engage in similar tomfoolery and shenanigans? The way I see it, Arnett has thrown down the gauntlet. Therefore, PoF is hosting the Ronald Arnett Challenge. There are three ways to win:

1) submit an author's work with a higher number of repeated phrases in a single chapter
2) submit an author's work that contains a higher per page count of repeated phrases in a single chapter
3) the ultimate victory: combine 1 & 2 above

Who is brave enough to accept the challenge?

New Band of Horses

Via NPR: "'Everything All the Time,' the debut album from Band of Horses, appeared on many critics' year-end Top 10 lists in 2006. For their follow-up, the band's members decided to start over."

Don't want to shell out a shilling for Radiohead? You can listen to the new Band of Horses release, "Cease to Begin," here.

How much is the new Radiohead worth to you?

Via The Chicago Tribune: "How much is a CD worth to you, and, bigger picture, how much is the effort musicians put into making a CD worth?

"Those provocative questions -- a direct challenge to the evolving Internet and cultural norm of treating music as a free commodity -- are posed by Radiohead, the critically-acclaimed English band, in making its new disc, 'In Rainbows,' available for download Oct. 10 at whatever price you want to pay."

According to Klevay, "I ain't gots the technology to appreciate that particular format, so I wasn't planning on buying it. It took me a million years to download that tribute album to OK Computer, and I don't need to do that again any time soon.

"If I were you, I'd pay them one shilling."

Free Art

I was trolling around on the Denver Art Week website looking for something interesting to do, when this ad caught my attention:

Fortune Cookie Art

Date: 10/5/2007-10/12/2007
Category: Visual Arts & Galleries
Neighborhood: Downtown/LoDo

Description: Independent artists around Denver are placing art everywhere during Arts Week. Look for art by local artists on buses, buildings, the homeless, bar coasters and fortune cookies. Magnet Mafia are "Throwing Down" magnet art on anything metal so keep your eyes open for collectable pieces. Haikus are written and put in fortune cookies for distribution at Chinese restaurants, take outs and delivery during the Denver Art Week.

Location:
Denver Art Infestation 2007

Best idea ever, except for maybe Lollilove.

Nachfolge

In the tradition of Beatitudo comes Nachfolge, Christianity's answer to the popularity of death metal. The German band relies heavily on the work of theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer for inspiration, as such early hits as "Every call of Christ leads into death" and "Suffering is joy" attest.

Hardcore fans of the genre remain skeptical, however. "Any self-respecting death metal band has to have at least one umlaut," comments David St. Hubbins.

Reason TV Sneak Peak

Reason is launching a new TV show: The Drew Carey Project. The preview is pretty sketchy, but it's available with the password "sizzle" until next week (or until someone rips it and posts it on YouTube).

Macaulaeus Culkin

Thanks to Vicipaedia you can have access to the same reliability you've come to expect from Wikipedia, but from a far smaller pool of contributors - latin scholars. The pages are filling up in order of interest among these folks, which raises the question of why Macaulay Culkin is one of a select few biographical entries:

"Quandum has filmas fecit, erat amicus Michael Jackson. Ut Michael Jackson, Macaulaeus puer erat persona magnae celebritatis; pueritiam usitatam non habuit, et pater erat arrogans et insolens."