The Garfield Randomizer.

Genius.

Have you high-fived a muslim today?

David Cain Juggles for Jesus.



A sample of David's show:

Huge, air-filled garbage bags are juggled to illustrate the importance of not filling our lives with garbage. (Rom. 1:29-31)

A wide variety of props (including Barbie and Ken dolls as well as an apple) are juggled to tell the story of creation, the fall, and redemption of mankind. (Rom. 5:17)

Beanbags and bouncy balls are juggled to illustrate how the Resurrection makes Jesus very different from every other religious leader throughout history. (Acts 2:31; 1 Cor. 15:14)

and my personal favorite:

Clubs are juggled over a volunteer to illustrate what genuine faith is really like. (James 2:14-26)

David also offer Christian Unicycle Lessons and Christian Jump Rope Routines in case juggling doesn't get you all the way to enlightment. After all, how can you turn down a guy who Willy Ames aka "Bibleman" aka "Buddy from Charles in Charge" aka "the Tattooed Psychopath on last season of Celebrity Fit Club" thinks is "...totally awesome!"

More juggling posts still to come...

Massive Multiplayer Pong

Fermented Tang


It's like Pruno for hipsters.

As if curling had any dignity to spare...



"During the fifth end break (curling's version of halftime and/or a seventh inning stretch), a large and not-too-muscular guy ran out across the sheet. Nothing on except for the obligatory online gambling ad and a strategically-wrapped rubber chicken."

I appreciate the fact that the article completely fails to note who won the bronze medal match as clearly no one cares.

Lift those cheeks



Learn to sing with Ron Popeil's sister. Free video tips are available every week online.

"I have taken lessons for quite some time ending with the thought, that 'you can't be taught to sing'. I am wrong! Lisa Popeil's technique is my answer. Thank you!"
L. Larson - Blaine, Minnesota

Once you complete the program, you'll want to get the accompanying t-shirt:
"STAND BACK! I FEEL A SONG COMING ON." It's her best-seller.

Looking to buy?



Why not hire the star of Avia Vampire Hunter? Rodney's got you covered:

* rapper...
* actor...
* entrepreneur...
* web designer

Via Malevole.

Hollywood tries to make Paul Walker the new Helen Hunt



Remember What Women Want, Cast Away, Pay It Forward and even Dr T and the Women? There was a time when America couldn't get enough of Helen Hunt. That day has passed. Perhaps it is time to make a similar decision about Paul Walker.

Subtlety is overrated



The Accidental Hedonist tries Guinness ice cream and gives the following review: "The ice cream itself turned out quite good, but it is very bold, rich and deep. This is not an ice cream with subtlety. Consider yourself warned."

Sounds better than the Iron Chef's infamous cod fish roe ice cream, in any case.

Orange you glad you're not Detroit?

Happiness is Marimba Ponies. Via BoingBoing and WFMU (more links there).

Tian's blog is quickly becoming one of my favorites. This lovely post has so much Flair goodness, I'm just going to send you there instead of stealing all his links.

Unbelievably good remix: Toy Story 2, Requiem

Post Valentine's Day Blues



Matt Cale finds romance in Bubble:

"Within days of seeing this movie, I watched a couple at a restaurant share a meal, but remain completely disengaged from each other. They neither spoke nor shared eye contact, and this lack spoke volumes about how we usually share physical space, but only out of habit, rather than a coherent, definable explanation. When pressed, I'm sure quite a few of us would have no idea why we are in a particular relationship, or claim to be in love, but we go through the motions anyway because we're too exhausted to do otherwise. Our current state might be pushing us to the brink, but as rats in a maze, we fall back on the devil we know."

R.I.P. Ed Opitz

Hungry?



From turduckens to mega-burgers, SupersizedMeals.com covers all the bases.

John Kricfalusi blog



Via Boing Boing: Ren and Stimpy fans of the world can now get a daily dose of madness at all kinds of stuff.

And just because it wouldn't be a real holiday without some PoF Valentine's Day snark: A Kiss for Joe

Trust me on this one and have patience: German Forklift Safety Video

I swear it must be a Verhoeven or Carpenter short.

Go, Go, Go!



Now that our old toilet designs are outmoded, we need to find new uses for all of the existing hardware.

Kudos to Dan Radosh for pointing out this great book review by Garrison Keillor (no, really!). I could barely contain my giggles at his thrashing of Bernard-Henri Levy's "American Vertigo."

Despite what our favorite contrarian, Mr. Hitchens, may think, this goes back to something I know I've mentioned here before, that is, European writers just don't get America. Even some of the best ones (I'm thinking Umberto Eco and perhaps herr Hitchens himself) just get it all wrong.

Anyhow, for those struggling with the flow chart: BHL criticizes America, Keillor bashes BHL, Hitchens berates Keillor, Radosh calls Hitchens on humorless-ness, PoF throws food from the peanut gallery.

Semi-related: BHL finds the American left is in a coma.

Bored with the same old candlelit dinner, red roses and chocolate truffles on Valentine's Day? Newly rich Chinese are looking to something decidedly more edgy -- matching plastic surgery for him and her.

In Shanghai's increasingly competitive plastic surgery market, clinics are offering Valentine's Day discounts to lovers looking for something extra to signify their emotional bond.
...
Some medical facilities in Shanghai have reported a surge in business by as much as 30 percent in the lead-up to Valentine's Day.

Plastic surgery, which was illegal in China until the early 1980s, has proliferated over the past five years as people have become richer.

The official Xinhua news agency estimates that cosmetic operations are now a three-billion-dollar business in China, with more than one million clinics nationwide.

Credit to Nick.

C.O.M.B.A.T. for Christ



I'm sure you have dealt with the anguish of preparing your youth to conform to the image of Christ. You have fought with Hollywood and the Music Industry to gain the minds and hearts of America's youth. Many today within the Church are ready to surrender our most valuable resource (our children) to the enemy's camp. I AM NOT! God has a work for the young men and women of today. A work that depends on us to train and lead them to "fight the good fight of faith."

Laid within five sections of the C.O.M.B.A.T. course: COMMITMENT... OBEDIENCE... MIND... BODY... ATTITUDE... TESTIMONY..... We have constructed hands on object lessons that will educate, enlighten, and even entertain the young men and women who complete this course.

Man, when the infidels invade Tennessee, they won't know what hit 'em.

Because we're overdue for a urine-related link: the PeePee Project

Jesus must have loved the 70's. Disco Jesus.

Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!



From Boing Boing: Ray Bradbury channels Lyle Lanley:

"The monorail is extraordinary in that it can be built elsewhere and then carried in and installed in mid-street with little confusion and no destruction of businesses.

"As soon as possible, we must call in one of the world's monorail-building companies to see what could be done so that the first ones could be in position by the end of the year to help our huddled traffic masses yearning to travel freely.

"The freeway is the past, the monorail is our future, above and beyond."

Of course, Bradbury's long-standing refusal to drive probably has nothing to do with his position.

Update: But can it move puppies???

We're overdue for a good photoshop post. From Worth1000: If Canadians Ruled the Earth

Any means necessary



From Ex Parte via DoL: "This hilarious Detroit News article reveals that unions have been hiring the homeless - at minimum wage and without health care benefits - to picket at non-union job sites. Oh, the humanity! Oh, the hypocrisy!

"'We're giving jobs to people who didn't have jobs, people who in some cases couldn't secure work,' said George Eisner, head of the union's mid-Atlantic regional council in Baltimore.

"God, I love these quotes. So, um, how exactly is this different from the employees at the non-union construction site that you're protesting? I wonder if these union schmucks realize the extent to which their defense of this practice undermines the whole purpose of unions."

I've deftly avoided posting the thousand and one links related to intoonfadah, but this one I just can't resist.

AICN adds a contribution to V-day with these X3 valentines mocking the unfortunate Rent-vibe that is permeating their ad campaign.

Conan Sets Sail for the Motherland

(just imagine him in blue and white)

"Late Night" host Conan O'Brien has joked that no one watches his talk show. That's certainly not the case in Finland, where he has become an unlikely cultural icon - and soon a visiting one.

The quirky, self-deprecating NBC host, along with a camera crew, will visit the Nordic country next week. He'll meet with newly elected Finnish President Tarja Halonen and receive an award on Feb. 14 at the Telvis Awards in Helsinki for being "the most surprising and entertaining TV personality in Finland."
"Once I conquer Finland, I'll head south through the Baltics and on to Belarus," O'Brien joked. "Soon, all the world will find me mildly amusing."


This is so much better than Toronto.

Credit to Nick.

What is love? Remix compilation. Worth it just to see the "What doth love be?" version.

Another Valentine's Day option



From BoingBoing: "True love may wait, but goatse does not."

More odd valentines at Seven Deadly Sinners.

In case you missed her... Article III Groupie is back! ...and David Lat, the man behind the gender-bending nom de plume is now slumming with Wonkette.

All the Brokeback Mountain parodies you can stand. For those who want the latest updates, be sure to check out Tian's blog.

Welcome to Bobacabana. Crazy begins near the yearbooks and comes into full bloom somewhere around the cereal boxes. I can't even begin to comment on the anime.

Apparently, I'm in the right character class to save the universe.

Arriving in a new town for the very first time, dressed in a confused mishmash of brown leggings, a priestly robe, chain mail jerkin, leather gloves, three magic rings, a large amulet necklace and a pointed wizard's hat, any number of distraught mothers will approach me and beg that I find their missing children/husbands/swords. Perhaps, I might be walking around naked but for the scrap of cloth protecting my decency and a fine pair of kobold-hide boots, but this won't prevent the local baker from requesting that I take a magic cake to his colleague in a neighbouring town, or the grumpy old codger from barking at me that I should clear his basement of vampiric rats.

What are they thinking? Do they ask just anyone who walks past, and I'm the only one daft enough to stop and listen? And when, exactly, was the last time someone accosted you in the street and asked you to complete a quest for them?

I decided to put this to the test.

The plan: To take to the streets, dressed as a wizard, with a quest for the good peoples of Bath, England.

If you haven't been watching Project Runway obsessively, you may have missed the delightful clips of quirky egotistical Santino doing many impromptu impressions of Tim Gunn, Chair of the Parsons School For Design. Check out this spot-on impression of Gunn reciting Nine Inch Nail's Closer.

Chewbacca-blog. Brilliant.

Drew blows a gasket



Normally mild-mannered and good natured Toothpaste for Dinner artist Drew recently sent out this message to his loyal readers:

"hey notifylist people,

"thanks a whole f*#king lot for all your corrections. it really is
awesome. i mean, i totally needed about 300 emails pointing out that
the porcupine in my last email was a hedgehog.

"oh and thanks for the 250 links to f$@king snopes about the arby's
thing.

"really, i try to do something fun, and you guys just wreck it, and turn
it into something that's a burden for me (it took ten minutes for my
email inbox to load) so i am going to stop doing these notifylists
until you can all settle the f%*k down and stop bugging me.

"have a good weekend. don't email me. buy some t-shirts. shut the hell
up about how i should make different t-shirts. just shut the hell up.
leave me alone for one second.

"drew"

Anyway, if you also want to have equally pleasant drops of sunshine in your inbox, sign up for The Toothpaste for Dinner mailing list. My suggestion, of course, would be to immediately reply and mention that you heard he was confused about porcupines and Arby's roast beef being made out of liquid.

Sing Along With Roseanne

Somehow I just know American Idol is to blame for this.

Meet Karl Pilkington



M&C highlights another great video - this time it's Ricky Gervais interviewing recently-christened radio star Karl Pilkington.

Plenty of downloads from The Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant Show available here.

Nothing says nuptials like Nascar



Don't forget the Sport Cake kit when planning for your big day.

Hershey's establishes "snack dominance"



WASAW reports that with new Kissables, "Hershey's has struck again with an innovative and fun spin on candy."

The question remains, though, whether the packaging will fly: "I like the packaging, but it doesn't feel hip enough for the kids these days. The silvery-gray lends sophistication to what would otherwise be a primary color orgy of happiness. Will the youngsters and their piercings and crazy hair and SATs want that sophistication? I don't know - I didn't ask any of them. Their skateboards frighten me."

Brokeback to the Future



From M&C: "It was an experiment in time, but the one variable they forgot was love."

Inspiring



For some reason, America's public libraries have yet to add Marquette University's "Goofy Professor" line of READ posters to their standard celebrity roster.

This Valentine's, treat them like the special victims they are



Unfortunately, Mr. Bird announced he's cutting off the supply of his own works, but with some creativity and a color printer, you can still share your true feelings with loved ones.