Conan the Raver

Another Reason I Love This State

Explosive devices can be used to kill prairie dogs, the Colorado Wildlife Commission decided Thursday - giving farmers one more tool to get rid of the burrowing animals.

"I'm tickled pink," said Matt Fickes, a Sterling farmer who has sought to use the devices. "I've got prairie dogs so thick I can't see straight.

"Ever see that Star Trek episode, 'The Trouble With Tribbles'? It's like that," he said. "They are born pregnant."

Landowners have been allowed to shoot, vacuum, poison and drown prairie dogs - but not blow them up.

Now they'll be permitted to use hand-held devices, such as the Rodenator and Varmitgetter, that ignite explosive gases to collapse the burrows.

[ed note: be sure to check out the Rodenator video if you're not convinced]

Marc and Matt Movie Review: Wild Things

A guidance counselor has inappropriate relations with his students – or does he? That question is at the heart of 1998’s Wild Things, directed by John McNaughton.

This sleazy thriller stars a fine cast which includes Matt Dillon (Crash) as Mr. Lombardo, the counselor; Neve Campbell (Scream) and Denise Richards (the shameful Starship Troopers) as his two accusers; Kevin Bacon (Sleepers) as the investigating officer and Theresa Russell (Black Widow) as the mother of one of the accusers who gives impetus to the whole sordid affair. It also features the fine comic actor Bill Murray (before he became the darling of Hollywood), playing a role that he inhabits well – a trashy defense lawyer.

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The plot, however, is too complicated to discuss here. Not only would we ruin the movie for you (the plot twists begin relatively soon in the film), but we also could not do it justice. Its complexity is actually quite impressive. In fact, the credits contain scenes that help to clear up any confusion that might still plague you at that point.

One might not think Wild Things would have much of a plot since it is basically billed as a T&A movie, targeted at those young men not old enough to visit the “cowboy room” at the local video store. The trailers featured women in bikinis splashing around in the pool, a catfight, and plenty of gunplay.

The film has more than just advertising working against it. The dialogue, for example, is at times just plain horrible. Theresa Russell exclaiming in haughty rage, “that SOB must be insane if he thinks he can do this to me,” is straight out of The B-Movie Guide on How to Write for Film.

Fortunately, the sum is greater than the parts. As Roger Ebert said, it is “bad taste elevated to the level of demented sleaze.” And he meant it as a compliment.

Wild Things does rise above its handicaps, and a truly fine flick is the result. The serpentine plot may confuse some viewers, and it is not until the ends that one truly realizes who was playing whom and what is really motivating the slimy characters. It sports elements of film-noir set against the backdrop of southern Florida swamps and then throws in a healthy dose of, well, you know, to attract an audience.

This film was fairly successful at the box office, though it is sad to realize it probably would not have done so if the more titillating scenes had been left out. The sleaze lured people in, and then the filmmakers tricked them by sneaking in a good movie. In this way it is similar to Basic Instinct – a good film that has been tarnished by being labeled and promoted as merely one step above a skin flick.

Wild Things is definitely worth seeing. If you like film noir, a plot with some real meat to chew on, or just good old-fashioned T&A, head on down to the video store and get a copy before some junior high kid snags the last copy.

The Pinnacle of Fair Food

Someone's finally done it: Deep Fried Coca-Cola

Jake Allen is ESL certified

(and is moving to Morocco)

That's gourd-eous, Part II

Via Boing Boing: If you thought painted gourds were awesome, wait 'til you get a load of the moulded variety:

"People might be interested in the artist Dan Ladd who's been making incredibly detailed moulded gourd sculptures for years."

Get your ride anime'd

Your have not reached the ultimate in anime fan coolness until you have slamwrapped your car with a cartoon character.

Taco Bell struggles to capture Hispanic market

Via DoL: "Advertising Age reports that Taco Bell is having a hard time convincing Hispanics, particularly Mexicans, to eat at their restaurants:

"'Taco Bell's fast-food version of Mexican food isn't playing very well with Hispanics, who contributed just a half-percent to the company's same-store-sales gain of 7% in 2005, despite making up 20% of Taco Bell's core 18-to-34-year-old target market.'

"If native Mexicans choose not to eat at TB is it because of the advertising or because the food isn't really Mexican food? According to one Carl Kravetz, who handles advertising for El Pollo Loco, it's the food:

"'If they say they deliver good Mexican food to [Hispanics] they won't be believed. If they say they have good, filling, cheap American food, they may have a chance.'"

Alien grape for sale

Via The Presurfer: "I was minding my own business shopping at the QwikyMart, when I picked up some grapes. On my way home I heard some wrestling in my bag. When I got home I pulled out the grapes and they were SOUR! The grapes were not just Sour but Scared too. They began to wine!

"'HELP, HELP, HELP' they screamed! So I asked the Plump one, what's the problem? And he told me, 'My name is Alexander and all I know is, a man ain't supposed to cry, but these tears I can't hold inside. You see I heard it through the Grapevine!' Then he pointed, and then I saw it!!! It was terrible! It was Horrifying!! It Was Alien Grape."

Moroccan-Tibetan Look?

Cher is clearing her Malibu home of its Gothic contents and reshaping her life in a giant garage sale...She is redecorating her home, going for a Moroccan-Tibetan look...

I guess the "Moroccan-Tibetan" look is a sly way of saying "Armenian" since Hayastan is equidistant from the two--plus she is currently the Most Powerful Armenian in All the World. Whichever of the three, it would seem that the only thing these cultures could have in common is that if you're going to Ms. Sarkisian's house, it's BYOC (chair).

Soda Pop Has Bloody Borders

While a recent article in the Atlantic Monthly is the latest to rehash the red fish blue fish-debate, current analysts would do well to pay attention to the true balkanization that is occuring in America. "Bleeding New Mexico" should be the new battle cry!



Once during my wild times as a geography major, I examined the various terms used for a pancake and how they were distributed in America. More near and dear to all of us though is the soda vs. pop national divide. If history is any guide, the South (and their indiscrimate use of the word "coke" for everything) is the pivot on which the majority could be decided. As a recent post suggests, sometimes soft drinks aren't so soft.



Reflecting on my youth spent growing up in the hate free zones of Seattle and Santa Cruz, I prefer the term "soda pop" and this uniter-not-a-divider attitude is why I am taking this opportunity to announce my candidacy for the 2040 presidency (of which country, I have not yet decided). In the meantime, please make checks payable to "Friends of Nick" (or FONies for short). Please include your name, address, occupation, rank, and serial number (which might be needed depending on which country becomes the New Ecotopia).

German panda music

Super Smart - The name says it all.

Who Better to Ethicate than the Political Class?

Commenting on a move by some to block the introduction of a Christian-based ethics program in Ukrainian state schools, the Kyiv Post reports:

"There is a path of good and a path of evil, and wherever God acts, the devil also appears," Deputy Mayor Vitaliy Zhuravsky said. "Whoever opposes introducing Christian ethics - for me, that's devilry."

Why good moralists would want to dirty their hands with ethics (the technique of justifying anything you might ever conceive of doing) is beyond me--it's not even an election year.

Authorities Cracking Down on the Handi-capable

Cops step up efforts against militant retards.


Credit: Alex Konrad (Ada, OH)

You Go Girl--or don't.

Credit: Toothpaste for Dinner

Rollerblade bottle tune guy

And that First Year Anniversary Gift is Covered Too..

Cheap Chic's Toilet Paper Wedding Contest (credit to John)

Drew on libertarians

Now that we're talking about Toothpaste for Dinner, here's some political commentary by TfD artist Drew:

"Seriously, though, the cost of living goes up every day, because the interest all the banks make has to go somewhere. Look at me, I'm a libertarian! I'm making up my own imaginary rules about how society works!

"No, I'm kidding. I'm not a libertarian. These dudes are generally smart, though. Nobody watches television and is like 'Huh, so I guess I'm a libertarian.' You have to either read books or get on the internet and learn about politics. And yeah, I said dudes, and yeah you know some lady libertarian, but on the real: The Libertarian Party is a sausage party.

"I guess in some high schools they might teach you about what a libertarian is. The lecture just consists of a picture of a dude in a golf shirt, with a goatee, standing in his doorway. With six guns.

"This blog has made a lot of jokes about libertarians. The truth about libertarians is that they are awesome, and please don't shoot me libertarians."

PoF gets guest cartoon spot on Mr. Miro's site

Recently, Mr. Miro sent me the following Toothpaste for Dinner cartoon, suggesting that it summed up the life of a PoF blogger:



I responded by suggesting that while that may be true, someone should draw up a cartoon about his own hobbies. Mr. Miro then said that I'd have to start my own. Here is the result, which you can now view as a "fan art" entry on his site:

Commercials bring us together

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal contained an article by Amy Chozick on Japan's effort to drum up support for television commercials. As with any marketing promotion in Japan, a cute cartoon figure is obligatory:

"The campaign mascot is a monkey named 'Coma-saru' -- a play on the words 'commercial' and 'saru,' Japanese for monkey -- with a face shaped like a TV. Networks are hoping that getting viewers excited about watching commercials will result in marketers buying more advertising time.

"Dentsu, Japan's largest advertising agency by revenue, made a spot called 'Family With No Conversation.' In this ad, a father is trying to talk to his teenage daughter, but she ignores him, playing with her cellphone instead. Then, a funny commercial comes on the TV. They look at each other, smile and begin to laugh. At the end a voice-over asks, 'What is a television commercial?' The ad implies the answer sometimes is: shared ground that can bridge awkward generational gaps and bring families together."