Happy Halloween



"Seriously, what beats Halloween? As a snack enthusiast, NOTHING, that's what! Just for knocking on their mortgaged doors, middle class suckers are obligated by law to give you tasty treats. USA, baby! Don't even TRY to beat us!"

Still in need of a costume for Halloween? Why not go with the "safety smock?"



When an inmate of a correctional facility is acutely suicidal, officers must remove every item that can be used for self-harm. Our smocks and bedding safely allow the inmate warmth and modesty.

Anoop Dogg - Drop it Like a FOB

I found this take on the Shaft themesong hilarious....

Wha be tha blake prevy lawe
That bene wantoun too alle tha feres?
SHAFT!
Ya damne righte!

Wha be tha carl tha riske is hals wolt
Fro is allye leve?
SHAFT!
Konne ye?

Wha be tha carl wha ne wolden flee
Whan peril bene all aboughte?
SHAFT!
Verray!

Alle clepe tha carl ane badde mooder-
SOFTE!
Speken of Shaft bene I.
THAN KONNE ALLES WE!

He be a man konne unnethes
Namo save is mayde konnes im.
JOHN SHAFT!

It gave me flashbacks to my junior year in high school when I had to memorize the opening lines of the Canterbury Tales. "Whan that April..." *shudder*

Link stolen from Victor's comments.

Despair Inc.'s new 2006 Demotivator designs unveiled



More are scheduled for release in November.

The best stuff is always hidden in the footnotes...

If you only skimmed the headlines of the latest news about Howard Stern leaving Infinity, you might have missed the best part of the story. After wading through the blather about Stern and laudatory bits about his main replacements, David Lee Roth and Adam Corolla (bleck and ugh, respectively), there's a final mention that Penn Jillette of "Penn kicks ass!" fame will also be hosting a new one hour program. Yahoo news is currently the only source that does more than mention this in passing.

I think we all know this was the only logical outcome of sending idiotic reporters out into hurricanes: Al Roker falls on his ass.


Update: Link fixed.

Think this site is a waste of time? Well, at least you're not spending your time creating a scale model of San Francisco in jello.

Someone put a lot of effort into this Power Rangers spoof. (in Japanese, subtitled) I only post it because it might be the first bit of Japanese humor that has made any sense whatsoever.

Lawyer, Lawyer

Still wondering what to dress the baby as for Halloween (assuming of course that you don't leave him/her in the cage)? Try crocheting some Yoda ears.



Genius.

I found my next vacation destination: Bon Bon Land



Be sure to click through the entire photo set and read the captions - the ant joke had me laughing out loud.

I usually don't plug bands, but I'm feeling a little obligated now that I've gotten three Epoxies cds for free. Todd was kind enough to give me the first two and now I have the local Virgin megastore to thank for the third. After waiting 20 minutes for them to hunt down a copy of Stop the Future, I had nearly given up when they offered to just give me the promo cd. What can I say people, I live a charmed life.

Must see webTV: Anne stars as Susan O'Schaffer over at the Etc site in their spoof election coverage of the NYC mayoral race.

Holy crap.

BabyCage.net - Infant Confinement Specialists Since 2001



On the go? Traveling on a plane? This travelling carrier is for you. Made of plastic to safely carry your beloved cargo. Suitable for infants 0 to 2 years old.

Feeling too optimistic?


Start your day off right with a steaming cup of "where the fuck did my civil liberties go?" with this disappearing bill of rights mug.

Who needs a New James Bond when you have these guys?

Separatists in southern Thailand—a region that up until Thailand's annexation in 1902 was semi-autonomous, Malay, and Muslim—have increased violence against the Thai Buddhist majority in recent years, targeting more and more Buddhist monks and teachers. A recent terror tactic, writes the Observer Research Foundation, is "for two terrorists to travel in a two-wheeler and for the one in the rear to take out a weapon and kill the target. This helps in rapid get-away after the killing without being captured by the bystanders or the police." As a result, new products are being developed to protect Buddhist monks, from bulletproof vests in the traditional safron hue to motorcycle sidecars—dubbed "monkmobiles"— encased in protective glass and outfitted with a small window for receiving alms.

Many of the products are devised by "Thailand's Q" (a reference to James Bond's gadget guy), Major Songphon Eiamboonyarith, a defense contractor who has also invented bulletproof tuk-tuks (motorcycle taxis), "umbrellas that shoot rubber bullets, bullet-proof baseball caps and a hand-held device to fire a man-sized net 30 feet (10 m) to stop a villain in his tracks."

Insect filth and mammalian excreta - mmm!



After eating pupae, Steve points out a helpful government guide to acceptable levels of filth in food fit for human consumption.

OK Go's A Million Ways