OMG!!! OMG!!! BESTEST THING EVER!!!!
Well, ok, maybe not, but it's pretty cool: Tim Minear (of Angel, Firefly & Wonderfalls fame) is adapting Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress for the big screen.

While I'm not normally a big fan of commercials, you really must check out these bizarre cigarette commercials made for British American tobacco by major directors. While we're on the topic, you might also enjoy this collection of David Lynch commercials.

Eyes on the prize



Adam Quan's "How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men" is well-reviewed on Amazon. Consider the following comments:

"I built the machine according to Mr. Quan's detailed instructions, spliced into the local power grid, and flipped the switch. AMAZING!

My house is now COVERED in white women of every size and age, and more are attracted every day. You can see my house from the expressway now, the pile is so huge.

THANK YOU, Adam Quan! Your machine has truly changed my life, and also the lives of countless others in my immediate vicinity."

Sanguinarius: Problems Vampires Have

Because this site doesn't get enough hits for "gay porn"...
Reason #582 to hate democracy: this election will be determined by either the Amish or gay porn stars.

Apparently, there's a picture of me under "wholesome" in the dictionary.



On two separate occasions today, two different guys said "fuck" in my presence, covered their mouths, and then quickly uttered an apology. One of these guys is serving time in federal prison.

This blog needs more readers.

Doing a Lynndie

Neato.

Just testing the email feature of blogger.

 

If I haven't seen you in the last few weeks, then you've probably missed out on my big news: I'm preg... kidding. I'm moving to Colorado and clerking for one of the state supreme court justices next fall. My Manhattan days are numbered, folks. It's been lovely.

The new trailer for Team America: World Police is up.

The airbrush is not a miracle worker



"This is a collection of actual senior photos that I found on various senior photography gallery websites. I've altered the images to conceal the identities of those involved, because the real shame lies with the photographers."

Losers descend upon Ohio to defend nerdly "honour"



"The people engaged in 'mortal combat' with foam weaponry on most Sunday afternoons in the soccer field off Olde Ridenour Road in Gahanna are members of Rivendell, the local realm of a 27-year-old nationwide live-action role-playing group called Dagorhir. Participants take on persona names and stage battle games based loosely -- in some cases very loosely -- on Tolkien's work, with elements of the Middle Ages sometimes tossed in.

"Rivendell averages a dozen or so for Sunday combats and has around 14 paid-up members, some of whom first learned of the group's existence from the Web site. 'We get about 25 percent of our members that way,' McCracken said.

"'A lot of the guys here are role players, Dungeons and Dragons players or computer gamers,' realm leader Andin said. 'Now they can stop sitting at their desks and go out to see if they have what it takes for real.'

"Or as real as warriors whose weapons were crafted by a 'foam smith' can make things.

"'Dagorhir's participants include a vast range of people, including college professors and high school students, construction workers and accountants, computer geeks and goths.'

"Members of the various chapters, sometimes called "realms," gather each year in, of all places, Ohio for an epic battle they call Ragnarok. The 10th annual version of what amounts to controlled mayhem with foam weapons is scheduled for June 19-26, 2005, at the Spring Valley Campground in Cambridge.

"The Buckeye State was chosen for this honor, according to the Web site, as the result of a challenge issued from the leader of a Midwestern chapter, Beowulf, to his opposite in the D.C. area, Graymael. The dialogue, according to the Web site, went like this:

"Bey: I know you Washington Dagorhir think you're tough, but you've never seen anything like us. You couldn't handle us if you ever had to fight Middle Earth! We send people flying through the air. Grown men weep when they see us coming.

"Gray: No way! We'd kick your collective (the rest can probably be guessed).

"Bey: Oh, yeah:

"Gray: Yeah!

"Bey: I'm in Illinois. You're in Maryland. What's halfway between the two?

"Gray: Uh, Ohio?

"Bey: Then it's settled. We'll fight in Ohio."

MirrorBall Man

As long as we're on a Bush theme, here he is singing U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday."

George W. Bush Garden Gnomes

Drill yourself a third eye



The movie Pi made it popular with all the kids. Now, with a little help from ITAG, trepanation is spreading the globe like wildfire. What are you waiting for?

Fun news for all you new parents, having kids dropped your IQ.

Nicole: Good thing you passed the bar first, dumbass.

All these years, I've really been thinking about haircuts far too narrowly. Tans Barbers.com

"Vengeance is mine," says 9-year old


(dramatic re-enactment)

"A 6-foot-tall, 275-pound bearded man crashed a children's birthday party in Oak Forest, identified himself as 'vengeance,' then helped himself to a piece of cake, police said.

"When the owner of the home asked the man who he was, the intruder replied, 'I am vengeance. I am the knight. I am Batman.' Then the man went into the kitchen, cut a piece of birthday cake, took it into the living room and ate it.

"After continued questioning by the homeowner, the man left the house and drove off in a red 1988 Cadillac."

Although my PC has finally been delivered, I thought I'd continue the postal theme by directing your attention to the Smoking Gun's brilliant piece on the Postal Service's new pilot program to sell personalized stamps.

The best of all possible worlds



The A-Team Resolves Lapses in Homeland Security

"Threat: Terrorists detonate bomb loaded with nuclear materials in heavily populated area.

"Solution: Murdock and Face knock on door of terrorist sleeper cell disguised as pest-control authorities. Meanwhile, Hannibal unleashes cockroaches in air vents to give terrorists the willies. Murdock and Face gain entry. While terrorists' attention is diverted, replace radioactive materials with horse manure. Later, when bomb detonates harmlessly, have B.A. deliver line, 'Now that's what I call a dirty bomb.'"