Thursday, August 23, 2007

The inspiration of the carrot

Step aside turnip, rutabaga and kohlrabi - it's carrot time:

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Yard sculpture, artist unknown

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Balloon carrot, Don't Forget the Balloons

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Crochet carrot, Midnight Knitter

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Drunken Carrot with a Calla Lily, Dan Goodsell

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Mohawk with Carrot Piercing, Cindy Rodriguez

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Bunny with Carrot, Chip Simons

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Carrot Top, artist unknown

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Flaming Carrot, Bob Burden

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Peasant stock

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Just because we're all related doesn't mean you're invited over.

"Almost everyone reading this article has Julius Caesar as a common ancestor. Half of you can probably claim Charlemagne, as well. That's because both lived a long time ago and went about the business of forefathering con gusto. You are probably also descended from every sniveling peasant who ever managed to replicate in ancient times.

"It's not just that we have a common ancestor; by the time you go back 5,000 to 7,000 years, all our ancestors are the same."

According to Yale statistics professor Joseph T. Chang, "'No matter what languages we speak or the colour of our skin, we share ancestors who planted rice on the banks of the Yangtze, who first domesticated horses on the steppes of the Ukraine, who hunted giant sloths in the forests of North and South America, and who labored to build the Great Pyramid of Khufu.' Our genealogy is, in a word, identical."

Richard Conniff, "The Family Tree, Pruned," from the July 2007 issue of Smithsonian.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

NMKY = Need More KY?



The back-up dancers pretty much rule.
via M&C

Texas Roadhouse as theology

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Pasadena - PoF News reports that an important new text by the now deceased Southern Baptist theologian James William McClendon Jr. was recently uncovered. The book, Texas Roadhouse as Theology, was apparently intended as a follow-up to McClendon's earlier work, Biography as Theology.

While details are just emerging, it appears that McClendon was increasingly skeptical of faith claims and saw in "Willie's Corner" an apt metaphor for his existential angst. Below is an excerpt:

"And so, we are left with the question of what to make of Willie's Corner. That hallowed space is filled with indications of his presence, but was he ever truly there? Even if so, he no longer remains. We must abide in the absence of Willie. Indeed, can we dare hope that Willie will one day return? I can't go on; I'll go on."

While the surfacing of the manuscript raises a number of questions about McClendon's life and career it does also answer others, such as why a pair of "Willie braids" was found among his possessions.

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Happy birthday, Natalie Dee.



Who wouldn't be happy to get a piece of fine art from Drew?

Get that dog out of here!

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Via Neatorama: "Scamp is the live-in pet at an Ohio nursing home, but the Schnauzer doesn't just bring companionship to the lonely. He has an eerie gift that also allows him to bring comfort to the dying.

"Scamp can somehow sense when the end is near for one of the old folks. He then waits loyally by their bedside in the final hours.

"Scamp's owner, Deirdre Huth, is a staff member at the nursing home, The Pines, in Canton, Ohio. She says Scamp even tries to raise the alarm when he gets the feeling that one of the seniors is at death's door."

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Unicycling results in



If you've been waiting for the results from the North American Unicycling Championships and Convention, the wait is over. Everything from the High Jump to Cross Country Mountain Unicycling is available online thanks to the Unicycling Society of America.

"'This is an event that draws unicyclists from all over,' said Jay Sinclair, a unicycling enthusiast and previous NAUCC attendee from Milan. Sinclair is a member of the Redford Township Unicycle Club, the hosts and organizers of the event.

"'When people think of unicycling, they tend to think of clowns and the circus,' he said. 'But that's a relatively small part of what we do.'"

Those looking to distance themselves from the clown and circus image even further, however, might want to consider this instead:

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Thursday, August 16, 2007

Latino 300

A More Dramatic Moment of Zen

A Moment of Zen



Credit: John.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Progressive Christians end silence



PoF News - According to the latest edition of Living the Questions, liberal Christians are finally voicing their opinions. As part of this trend, a new tract is now available for distribution at congregations, seminaries and street corners. Entitled "SHE: God is not an old bearded white guy, so you'd better avoid exclusive language," the text is fairly straightforward until the conclusion, at which point Betty Frieden makes an appearance as the divine and a non-inclusive sinner is sent to hell. These scenes have raised the concern of some progressive Christians, who feel that while anyone caught using non-inclusive language probably ought to burn forever, hell makes them uncomfortable and God will likely bring even these sad souls back into the fold eventually.


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Apologies to Victor and thanks to Julie and Scot for inspiration.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Still thirsty?

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Perhaps it's time to hire a witcher: "the American Society of Dowsers estimates [that there are] more than 1,500 water witchers in the U.S., many of whom are paid for their services.

"People who claim the ability to locate groundwater have been around for hundreds, and perhaps thousands, of years. According to the U.S. Geological Survey, the witchers' divining rod was used in the mines of Western Europe in the 16th century. Witchers explain their abilities in myriad ways -- faith in God, electrical impulses, magnetic fields and intuition chief among them. Most witchers say anyone can learn to do it."

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Thirsty?

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Quench that summertime parched throat with some satisfying Pet Sweat.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Sad Skittle king



Via Steve.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Poetic direct action

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Radical Pie is getting impatient with the public's lack of interest in poetry. To combat this trend, the blog is taking suggestions and compiling a list of possible local actions to raise poetry awareness. Here are a few examples:

1. Street readings in groups: spontaneously read in bars, coffeeshops, galleries, libraries, restaurants, corporate offices, ATM & bank teller lines, book stores, churches, schools, parks, driving down the street.

10. Poetry goes well with sax or guitar; it could even go with juggling. Experiment.

21. Read a poem on the morning bus or subway, on your way to work.

31. Carry a sign that says "Free Poems," "Poetry Counselor," "Need a lift? Try poetry," "Got poetry?" or "Find What You Love and Do It." Read a poem to anyone who asks.

41. Little milk cartons with a label that says "got poetry?" Print poems on the outside. Inside put cutout words from magazines and newspapers. Put instructions on the carton to make poems out of them. Give the cartons away for free to passersby, on the bus, to homeless people, to drivers in rush hour.

Here's one PoF can offer: wear trucker hats printed with poetry.

2007 Pieces of Flair T-Shirt Art Contest

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WINNER ANNOUNCED!


Looking for fun, fashion and fame? Well, you've come to the right place. PoF currently sports a collection of high-class fashion wear with a message. The only thing it lacks is some high-class artwork.

Therefore, PoF is hosting its first ever . Readers can view and vote to determine the winner. Whoever makes the cut will be profiled on the site, will walk away with a free version of their completed shirt, and - most importantly - will bear the title of Winner of the Pieces of Flair 2007 T-Shirt Art Contest. Three shirt designs mean three chances to win:

SHIRT 1: Heaven

SHIRT 2: Hell

SHIRT 3: Eternity

RULES: The artist can decide whether or not to include the text of the shirts or submit a stand-alone image to accompany the text. Interested contestants may send their original submissions to Matthew or Meredith via the email addresses located in the PoF Bloggers link. Entries should be in JPEG or PNG format. The deadline for entries is noon on Friday, August 24, 2007 EST. Let's get artsy!


WINNER ANNOUNCED!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

New t-shirt design

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Dedicated to all those who fail to read the fine print, PoF is proud to unveil the Sea Org shirt:

"The Sea Organization or Sea Org is an association of Scientologists established in 1968 by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of . Its members are found in the central management organizations of the Church of Scientology as well as in individual churches.

"Members of the sign an employment contract with the organization for one billion years. Sea Org members, in accordance with Scientology beliefs, are expected to return to the Sea Org when they are reborn. The motto of the Sea Org is, 'Revenimus' or 'We Come Back' in Latin."

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Price is... Awesome!



Drew Carey, comedian, libertarian and stripper-afficianado, is set to replace Bob Barker on the Price is Right! This is infinitely better than the Rosie O'Donnell threat that was floated around a few weeks ago, and far exceeded my highest hopes for the Price is Right legacy. Please spay and neuter your pets.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Eternal Question



Arnoldheight.com
is a team consisting of around 200 scientists working around the clock to discover the true height of Arnold Schwarzenegger. We are primarily funded by several governments and commercial businesses from around the world. We have NO affiliation with Arnold Schwarzenegger or anyone working for him.

We are now the only website dedicated to this exciting field of research after our takeover and liquidation of websites such as www.tinyarnie.com and www.shortzenegger.org which are now no more.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Toepedo

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Sure, it's a bit late to be celebrating Lawrence Lessig's birthday, but why not extend the festivities and license something through Creative Commons in his honor? Therefore, I am allowing free use of my new toy concept - the Toepedo.

This toy involves placing a skin-like plastic sleeve over one's real toes with a set of launch-able fake toes attached at the end. Some sort of pressurized air or gunpowder may be necessary to achieve the desired effect. I'm not so into the details, though, and that's why I'm giving this gift to the world to develop and most of all - to get creative!


Creative Commons License



Toepedo by
Matt Hisrich is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 License.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Ultimate Resource

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Julian Simon's argument that it's getting better all the time seems easy enough to dispute on the surface. Think about this before you launch into a tirade, though: have you tried tagless t-shirts or underwear yet? If not, you should. It might be enough to change your outlook on life and get you to celebrate National Underwear Day on August 7.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Sava-O Screaming Baby Skull Whistle



Get your stocking stuffers early:

The Sava-O is an innocent whistle trapped in the plastic prison of a scary, devil-spawn baby. When brave users blow into the device, the baby's head pops up and its mouth opens, shrieking/cursing your enemies through the power of your lungs/the genetic modification of Satan's DNA.

Also check out the matching Pill-Vomiting Baby Head Dispenser Key Chain.

via Gizmodo (credit to John).

It's a wig, no a pillow, no.... a Pillowig!



"Pillowig" is handmade wearable pillow.

via Neatorama.

Better than the Quikie Mart Schtick....



PAGANS have pledged to perform “rain magic” to wash away cartoon character Homer Simpson who was painted next to their famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant.

The 17th century chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused, club-wielding giant is believed by many to be a symbol of ancient spirituality.

Many couples also believe the 180ft giant, which is carved in the hillside above Cerne Abbas, Dorset, is an aid to fertility.

A giant 180ft Homer Simpson brandishing a doughnut was painted next to the well-endowed figure today in a publicity stunt to promote The Simpsons Movie released later this month.

It has been painted with water-based biodegradable paint which will wash away as soon as it rains.

Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: “It’s very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing.

“We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind. We’ll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away.”

She added: “I’m amazed they got permission to do something so ridiculous. It’s an area of scientific interest.”

She also expressed fears that the painting of Homer, from the animated television series The Simpsons, would cause a mess as it washed away.

During the Second World War, he was disguised to prevent the Germans from using him as an aerial landmark.

Since then he has always been visible, receiving regular grass trimming and a full re-chalking every 25 years.

OK Computer tribute

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"To celebrate the 10th anniversary of Radiohead's OK Computer we've asked some of our favorite musicians to participate in a song-by-song covers compilation. Indicative of the album's continued importance, each invitee jumped at the chance; the results are personal, intense, tellingly various. Slow down, dig in, enjoy. But note: we did this all legal and everything, so we can't keep these up forever...get 'em before someone else does."

Thanks for the link, Klevay!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Aaaaaaaaagh!



Welcome to the wonderful world of myostatin deficiencies.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Permanent

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Beauty is in the...


The developer said his design for a 40-story resident tower proposed as a gateway to downtown San Diego looks like a flower. A city consultant said it looks like a giant phallus.

"With its rounded forms and swelling of the uppermost floors...this building structure is very phallic," wrote Gwynne Pugh, a Santa Monica architect hired by the downtown redevelopment agency to review building designs.

San Diego-based Sandor Shapery's proposal for a 160-unit hotel and condominium tower was expected to go before the redevelopment agency for initial feedback this month. Instead Shapery has asked for more time to "revisit" and perhaps "tone down" the design because he does not want to offend anyone.

"If it looks like a phallic symbol, someone has a strange perception," said Shapery, who was trying to create an "organic form." "You can find sex anywhere if you want to...There's just some sick people out there."

The building's architect C.W. Kim of La Jolla said the goal was to create a unique building.

"You know, it's the mediocre buildings that anyone can do," he said. "Anyone can do a square building."

Thursday, July 05, 2007

O'Reilly uncovers lesbian gang conspiracy



Via Jeff Hoard.

Herzog looking for movie roles

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Via The WSJ: "Mr. Herzog isn't just depicting such characters on film; he also portrays them himself as an actor. Lately he's been working in front of the camera for young American filmmakers such as Harmony Korine and Zak Penn. In 'The Grand,' a coming mockumentary from Mr. Penn about a high-stakes poker competition, Mr. Herzog stars as a growling player known only as 'The German.'

"'Whenever it comes to someone vile, debased, hostile and dysfunctional -- I'm good at that.'"

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Almost Everyone Poops

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Taro Gomi's book, Everyone Poops, is a big hit with the kids. Too bad it fills their heads with half-truths. Perhaps someday Gomi or some other enlightened soul will release an important sequel, Almost Everyone Poops. That way there can be an honest and playfully illustrated discussion of that grumpy old guy down the street and his prunes, or Colostomy Bag Sally and her adventures.

We're Number 1! We're Number 1!



We can all take pride in knowing that on this 4th of July, the U.S. took back the title at Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, where Joey Chestnut post a new world record of 66 dogs. Read Gothamist's nauseating play-by-play here.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Grandma - pit tester



Via Tokyo Times: "[W]ith a plethora of products on the market, manufacturers have to pull out all the stops to capture the public’s attention, which is exactly what Japanese cosmetic giant Shiseido has arguably done with its latest commercial for the aromatic Ag+."

Monday, July 02, 2007

Colombian donkey love

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Via Cruel: "In a small northern Colombian town named San Antero, the ‘Festival del Burro’ (Donkey Festival) is held to celebrate the donkey. Some of the highlights include a donkey stampede and a costume contest, but most of all, the carnival celebrates having sex with donkeys."

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Aliens leave new message in Netherlands

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...or not: "A driver who was high on cocaine destroyed an entire cornfield in an attempt to escape from the police. Four police cars were destroyed before the 35-year-old crashed into a ditch and was arrested."

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

New Beastie Boys and Pearl Jam available for listening

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It's the 90s all over again. Instrumental Beastie Boys and live Pearl Jam can be heard here.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Yeshiva Boys Choir -- Kol Hamispalel



Via And You Will Know Us By the Trail Of Our Vinyl.

Minisodes

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Miss T.J. Hooker, Fantasy Island or What's Happening!!, but don't have the time to watch full episodes? Now you can catch the highlights in under 5 minutes thanks to The Minisode Network.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Crazy.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Berkshares



The hippies have beat us at our own game.

Sad doppelgänger

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While living in rural Arkansas, my wife and I occasionally attended a nearby Episcopal church. The interim rector was a seemingly happy middle-aged woman who valued personal appearance enough to spend a bit of time primping and came across as very well put together, especially in formal Sunday worship robes.

Every so often we would run across a woman in the grocery store who we thought must be her - but in civilian clothes. Faded jeans and a sweatshirt, hunched over her shopping cart, hair frazzled and with a look of grim resignation on her face. We would dart about, not wanting to disturb the sullen woman in her off-duty activities.

Only later did we realize this was an entirely different person - the local dry cleaner. So, here they were, two completely unrelated individuals that could be twins. One confident and assured, the other dejected and world-weary.

Are there others out there? If so, which of the two does that make you? Could these false twins be creatures of chaos?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

New toilet ad campaign concept

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I recently had to sit through both The Guess Who's and Lenny Kravitz's versions of "American Woman" in less than 24 hours. In addition, I also installed a new toilet seat. See the connection? It should be obvious. American Standard toilets are, well, standard in many American homes. The opportunity to combine the two is there for the taking. I've put together some sample lyrics to give some forward-thinking ad agency a head start:

American Standard,
Sit your a$% on me!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Thanks, FTC

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The Federal Trade Commission is thankfully stepping up to protect affluent suburbanites from the impending threat of "shopping 'experience'" monopoly:

"The Federal Trade Commission recently announced it will sue to block Whole Foods from buying Wild Oats, a competitor in the high-end, organic supermarket space.

"The FTC's argument is that 'premium' organic-food peddlers don't compete against regular supermarkets, and its justification reads like promotional materials from Whole Foods. The FTC waxes lyrically about 'the breadth and quality of their perishables -- produce, meats, fish, bakery items, and prepared foods -- and the wide array of natural and organic products and services and amenities they offer,' adding that Whole Foods is not so much a supermarket as a 'shopping 'experience.'' Mr. Mackey, the Whole Foods CEO, would have to be tickled if the FTC weren't deploying this talk to kill the merger."

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Get ready for the big night out

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Via Tokyo Times: "[F]or the man not exactly blessed with bristles, help is at hand, as wig manufacturer Propia is selling synthetic substitutes."

Monday, June 18, 2007

Bad Spock Drawings

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Via Drawn!: "Bad Spock Drawings invites artists to do their worst to everyone’s favourite Vulcan Starfleet officer."

Saturday, June 16, 2007

R.I.P. Richard Rorty



I'm a little late, but at least this article from yesterday's Slate is timely.

From Richard Posner's entry:
Dick Rorty's most striking personal characteristic was a deep and genuine modesty, as an anecdote will illustrate. He had once written that if there was any hope for the world, it lay in the Third World. In an e-mail he told me that this was "the dumbest thing he had ever written." Sometime later I had occasion to quote in a book I was writing his statement that if there was any hope it lay in the Third World, and I wanted to add that he had retracted the statement in correspondence. I e-mailed him to ask whether I could do so. He e-mailed back that he would prefer me to state in my book that he considered the statement "the dumbest thing he had ever written." I did not.

Home renovation update

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Everything's going swell!

Marie Antoinette Action Figure



Who doesn't find a guillotine victim fun?

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Glowfur



GlowFur..."Feel The love"

Hunting for Darwin



Found on Modern Mechanix, via BoingBoing

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Happy Belated 4-Year Blogiversary!

It was yesterday - I really am slacking.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Begging for spray paint

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Turner Insurance is building its reputation around owner Kyle Turner's expertise in the insurance field. A series of billboards using images such as the one above bring the point home to drivers passing by. The latest incarnation has Kyle holding up both fists next to one another so that the word "EXPERT" fits neatly across six of his fingers. Why it has taken so long for someone to add an "S" to his first finger is beyond me.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Dear Blog,

I know I haven't written lately, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. Please accept that my day job interferes with my commitment to you and that one day I'll make up for it, even if I have to do it one poo-hat at a time.

Your author,
Meredith