New Helmet album released

"Most of the remaining songs follow either of these directions: they're tight and surprisingly melodic, or they're tight and vaguely melodic. Some of these tracks get away with it, yet others sound too derivative or just uninspired."

The purpose of Helmet since the album Meantime seems to be to try and make another album like Meantime. Monochrome doesn't quite get there, but it's closer than they've been in a while. Listen here and judge for yourself.

Mosquito

A lot of work went into this Firefly parody. Not too shabby.

"Iowa – Life Changing"

Via BoingBoing: " Every week, David Burge of Iowahawk dutifully pores over the mugshots of female arrestees from Des Moines' Polk County Jail, selecting photos of the women he feels are suitable for candidacy in his Hoosegow Honey contest. He asked his readers to vote for Miss Hoosegow 2006. The winner is Jesika, with 20.9% of the vote."

Maddox to release comic book

"...the best comic in the universe is finally here. Many of you doubted me when I first announced it; you said I couldn't fit this much crotch rockage into a comic. As always, I'm right and you're all idiots for doubting me."

Georgia on my mind

Via DoL: I've always been a fan of Arial, and I know some Verdana-philes out there, but apparently everyone else has settled on Georgia:

"Log on to The New York Times's Web site, and you'll see it there. Just as you'll spot it on the Web sites of London's Frieze Art Fair, the architecture magazine Metropolis, the artist Damien Hirst, and on blog, after blog, after blog.

"All of these Web sites use the same typeface - Georgia. Typefaces slip in and out of fashion like every other area of design, but right now Georgia is the most fashionable one on the Internet. 'A few designers have mentioned that there seems to be a 'Georgia revival' going on,' says Matthew Carter, the British-born, Boston-based designer who developed Georgia for Microsoft in 1996. 'It seems a bit young to have died and been revived already.'"

Worshipping at the Altar of YouTube

Zappa plays bicycle for Steve Allen - Part 1, Part 2
More vintage Zappa on SNL
Robot Chicken - The Neverending Party
8 ½ Mile
and in anticipation of the concert I'll be seeing soon, a new video from Muse.

Man fights bear

This should be included on the DVD extras for Grizzly Man.

I can't wait til A finally equals A....

LFB has a surprisingly decent blog... and the latest news on the Atlas Shrugged movie for those interested.

Zidane Mash-ups

Here's round-up of all head-butt mash-ups floating around.

/still don't get soccer

Site Mods

Just a quick announcement... gravatars have been enabled in the Haloscan comments. If this gets to be annoying, the feature will be disabled, but until then.... happy posting.

Dinner in the Sky

Finland Rules

Finnish artists Tellervo Kalleinen and Oliver Kochta-Kalleinen collected the pet peeves and angst-ridden pleas of people in Helsinki and then composed this choral work around the list of complaints. While many of the complaints are universal to western urban life ("Tramline three smells of pee," "Bullshitters get on too well in life," "Christmas season starts earlier every year"), many of the complaints dive deep to the heart of the Finnish soul ("Our ancestors could have picked a sunnier place to be," "In the public sauna they never ask if its ok to throw water on the stove," "Old forests are cut down and turned into toilet paper, and still all the toilets are always out of paper," and most importantly, "We always lose to Sweden in Hockey and Eurovision"). But all the complaints end with the timeless refrain of all humanity, It's Not Fair.

Yeah, they're my peeps. via WMFU's Beware of the Blog

Thom Yorke solo album available for listening



"The Eraser shows how fine a line there is between Kid A-like brilliance and derivative mediocrity. I just never thought that the first person to corrupt Kid A's visionary foray into electronic pop would be Thom Yorke."

UPDATE: Watch Yorke perform "The Clock" and "Cymbal Rush" on The Henry Rollins Show, then watch Andy Dick make fun of Thom Yorke.

Carney doesn't like big business



Free-taco-night fan and suspected Buchananite Tim Carney just released The Big Ripoff, a new book that claims to take us "deep inside the insidious, incestuous relationship of big business and even bigger government." You can watch him lecture a Heritage Foundation audience here.

Preview the Screw-on Head pilot



Via M&C: Watch the full pilot of The Amazing Screw-on Head, a new Sci Fi show from Mike Mignola, the creator of Hellboy. Features the voices of Paul Giamatti, David Hyde Pierce and Molly Shannon, among others.

Sharpen your skills



Thanks to The International Private Investigators Union (IPIU), you, too, can have access to specialized knowledge on subjects such as mantrapping:

"Man, by virtue of his habits, can be incredibly easy prey. Read about the Costa Rican bridge trap, Afghan tank fall, Oregon helicopter trap, Jamaican shark net, South African wire whip trap, German head chopper, and many others. Includes the do’s and don’ts of a successful mantrap, rarely seen traps for urban environments, the benefits of fake traps, and much more."

Derka derka Mohammed jihad... SLEPKO!!!!???!!! Ka-boom.



At first blush, this Slate article about the Islamic fundamentalist hatred of the "Rotarian Menace" seems laughably absurd.... but then when you remember that Nick Slepko is a Rotarian... well, it pretty much explains everything. (via Hit & Run).

Who needs religion?



"A universal mystical experience with life-changing effects can be produced by the hallucinogen contained in magic mushrooms, scientists claim today.

"Forty years after Timothy Leary, the apostle of drug-induced mysticism, urged his hippie followers to 'tune in, turn on, and drop out,' researchers at Johns Hopkins University, in Baltimore, Maryland, have for the first time demonstrated that mystical experiences can be produced safely in the laboratory. They say that there is no difference between drug-induced mystical experiences and the spontaneous religious ones that believers have reported for centuries. They are 'descriptively identical.'"

"The future of policing in America"



"The tiny drone will be able to provide law enforcement officers with a bird's-eye view of just about anything. It's intended to find lost hikers, skiers, surfers, children, elders, and more. It can also be used in hostage situations and other violent standoffs in rural or urban areas and to surveil fleeing crime suspects.

"Privacy advocates worry that a drone could peer too far into private lives because cameras could intrude on citizens through windows and into backyards. Law officers say it is more cost-effective than a helicopter."

The contractors involved should consider re-naming their companies if they want to prevent people from thinking they're on an episode of Lost:

"Known as 'SkySeers,' the drones were designed by Octatron, a subsidiary of Chang Industries, a defense contractor in southern California."

"Virginia is for Lovers" slogan soon to be updated



"State officials want to make it easier for water lovers to find relief by building a floating restroom.

"The buoyed bathroom would be like a barge away from shore, said Anne Smith, a consultant with the Virginia Department of Health's Marina Program.

"'They could just park and get in.'

"Connie Barbour, a long time fisherman and an owner of Long Bay Pointe Bait and Tackle in Virginia Beach said he doubts that people would do that.

"Keeping the water clean is a priority, Long Bay Pointe's Barbour said, though he's not sold on the floating commodes. Many smaller vessels have portable toilets, he said, and parks and marinas provide toilets.

"In a hurricane, someone would have to pull the floating facility to shore, he said.

"'That would be the last thing you'd want flipped over,' he said.

"And, Barbour said, 'you'd be surprised how many people would get seasick trying to get in one of those places.'

"'We would try and locate it somewhere that didn't have a lot of current and wave action to try and minimize that,' [Smith] said."

Unflinching Triumph

The Philip Rockhammer Story

A trio of video links from Todd:

George Washington by Cox and Combes

Bob Log III's Boob Scotch - Warning: Involves lots of... Scotch

and finally a link that doesn't make me feel dirty: Breakdancing Transformers

PoF Haiku-Cinema

Inspired by this random post, I thought it might be fun to have a pointless haiku comment contest. So let's have at it:
Step 1. Pick a movie, any movie (preferably a bad one).
Step 2. Write a Haiku about it.
Step 3. Post it in the comment section below.
Step 4. Rinse and repeat.

Best entries go in the PoF quote-bin.

I love the net-mockery of Sen. Ted Stevens that has arisen in response to his "the internet is made of tubes" ramble. Just more proof that the goons running the country are completely out of touch with reality. Here's a helpful graphic and an MP3 remix of his remarks.

Wikipedia's list of grocery marketing flops.



It's the ghost of bad aftertaste past.

Ordinarily, I'd tag this with a "going to hell for laughing remark," but since Rosie O'Donnell is really retarded and only pretending to have Down's Syndrome, I'm pretty sure it's ok to laugh.

Where the shadow puppets roam free...


Knowing my fondness for the short-lived series, Firefly, the follow-up film, Serenity, and my occasional bouts of Tudyk-mania, Alec sends along a link to this recent bit of Whedonalia: Serenity, the RPG. And for future reference, in my metaverse, Wash will not die in some arbitrary-existential-bullshit-non-plot-furthering-unfunny-ruin-Meredith's-movie-kind-of-way, but lives forever and ever in a world filled with bad Hawaiian shirts, toy dinosaurs, and 70's cop mustaches.

And now for something completely serious...


Julian Sanchez has a nice post over at Hit and Run defining libertarianism, contra the absolutists in the LP who are griping over the latest schism in an already painfully marginalized party.

Learn Judo With Vladamir Putin



I wonder if "caressing a cat like a paedophile" is one of Pooty Poot's signature moves.

Poo paranoia



People who like cleaning up after dogs are probably few and far between. Nevertheless, most people responsible for taking care of a lawn recognize that, well, it happens. There are, however, those who are unwilling to compromise on their no-poo stance. The number of signs like the one above seem to be on the rise, for instance. I had always felt such public notices were the rough equivalent of placing a sign in one's yard declaring "Crazy person lives here," but I was recently reminded that, like most things, crazy is a relative term.

Someone in the neighborhood has taken it to the next level. They've gone to the trouble of laminating and mounting a copy of the local newspaper's article on the city passing a "pick up after your dog" ordinance and placed it in their yard. In case passersby do not fully grasp the implications, a helpful hand-written sign has been placed nearby that says, "Have your dog $%^# it your own yard. Don't be surprised if you get your picture taken otherwise." That sounds like a challenge to me.

In any case, I can only assume that roving bands of citizen poo patrols will soon be guarding sidewalk strips as the conflict escalates.

Toothpaste for Dinner t-shirt contest winners posted



"Welcome to the Toothpaste For Dinner contest, 2006 edition. Just over 300 people sent in 692 pictures this year, pictures of PEOPLE WEARING SHIRTS THEY BOUGHT FROM THIS WEBSITE.

"This was an arbitrary contest. I picked out some pictures that I like and awarded them prizes. There is one grand prize winner, five regular winners, and a lot of honorable mentions. I expected to get about 50 excellent entries but I ended up with more, so I gave out more free stuff. In fact, there are four pages of pictures this year. Are you ready to SCROLL DOWN?!?!?"

Wonder Woman's put on a few



Via Drawn! - "BBWW: The Fat Wonder Woman Blog. A fun blog containing artists' renditions of our favorite amazon princess."

Tradeoffs



"Could a tiny staple in your ear be the key to losing weight?

"NewsChannel5's Lee Jordan reported how dozens of people said that having the ear-stapling procedure has helped them shed those extra pounds.

"Elyria chiropractor Gary van Skyhock explained that the idea comes out of acupuncture and something called auricular therapy, or treatment based on nerve endings in the ear.

"The staple is placed over the point that corresponds with the stomach.

"'It normalizes your appetite and when you normalize appetite, you'll eat as much as you need, not more,' said van Skyhock.

"Van Skyhock has put staples in about 100 patients and said the biggest risk is infection. One out of five of his patients ends up with infected cartilage around the staple, and that type of infection can be difficult to treat."

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

I can't say I buy into the Gnarls Barkley hype, but I don't dislike 'em either. But between the MTV awards Star Wars costuming and this excellent video, they're starting to win my nerd heart over.

You're not alone



...if you happen to think that The Searchers is an overrated flick.

The Slate article is a nice companion piece to The Onion's recent "Classic Movies It's Okay To Hate" piece.

Credit: Klevay (who still likes The Searchers).

Gimme a break



The Wall Street Journal today broke the shocking story that KitKat flavors such as Lemon Yogurt and Mango Passionfruit are not appreciated by consumers. The story also revealed the odd trivia fact that the Brits eat a KitKat roughly every 47 seconds. Fascinating.

In any case, the article does not uncover the full scope of Nestle's mad-scientist approach to one of its most popular candy bars. Thankfully, Wikipedia's entry on the KitKat bar collects the bewildering array of odd flavor choices company execs have attempted throughout the course of their bizarre social experiment, including Kit Kat Matcha (Green tea) and Kit Kat White with Maple Syrup.

That's gourd-eous



"'Her World' won first place in the painting category at the California Gourd Society 9th Annual Gourd Art Competition."

"Quality and originality are at the forefront of Andrea's gourd art creations, which are beautiful, useful and affordable."

Bad signs



My guess is that geography professor Julio Rivera found this sign outside of a sparkler factory. For more equally helpful advice, visit his "Bad Signs Ahead" collection.

Hoff Update

BEER-swilling Baywatch star David Hasselhoff was booted out of Wimbledon — because he was “steaming drunk”.

A guard led him from the tennis tournament’s grounds after a series of clashes with security staff. FIRST, the 53-year-old actor had a blazing row outside Centre Court. Guards would not let him in because he did not have a valid ticket. THEN he was banned from press and players’ bars as he tried to get another drink.

Hasselhoff, who has fought a long battle with booze, yelled at staff: “You should let me in. Do you know who I am? I’m The Hoff.”

Ann Coulter, The Musical

Viennese vegetable orchestra



"the first viennese vegetable orchestra consists exclusively of vegetable-based instruments, although where necessary, additional kitchen utensils such as knives or mixers are employed."

Listen to excerpts from their cd, automate, here, here and here.

Da Vinci Code disappointing?



Thanks to Arvid Nelson over at Shrunken Head Studios, I'm now immersed in the world of Rex Mundi:

"It is a tale of murder, sin and redemption in a world where magic is real and the Catholic Church never lost its grip on power."

It's excellent material for any church conspiracy fans out there. I may be slow on the uptake (the first issue came out in 2002), but at least I can help spread the good news before the story makes it to the big screen.

I knows me some ugly myspace showdown



"On the show: 06-30-06 Ze issued a challenge to create the ugliest MySpace page.

"- Add the ugly duckling logo to let Ze know you have officially entered the contest
"- Click the 'edit' tab and list your site
"- We will vote for the ugliest page on July 14th.
"- The winner will get a prize valued at $10,000!"

All the hydrants you can handle



"It may be surprising to some, but people actually collect fire hydrants. Historically significant and removed-from-service hydrants have typically been melted down as scrap. Hydrant collecting, therefore, has become the primary means by which this part of fire service history can be preserved. As a bonus, it is just plain fun." (emphasis original)

Nobody Wants to See Miami Vice: The Movie, Especially Admiral Adama



"Attempting to net the last glimmer on its '80s twinkle, the filmmakers sent an offer to Edward James Olmos to reprise his role as the never-not-brooding, pineapple-faced Lieutenant Martin Castillo. He declined and reportedly had his agent send a VHS to the offices of Universal Pictures. It contained a 20-minute loop in which Olmos silently stared into the camera in absolute disgust."

Happy Independence Day!

On such an occasion, there's really only one question:



If there's any doubt, consider the following options:

1) Add a flag mouthpiece to your collection



2) Pre-order a patriotic bridal gown for that wedding date that's sure to come at some point



3) Finally, since sparklers are too risky, buy yourself a gun and go shoot something for America

Eric tackles a burning question



"You know me, internet, I'm the kind of guy that doesn't mind a hokey, bad-for-me food product. I also have dry, unpleasant lips. So when Hostess teamed up with some odd company to make snack cake flavored lip balm, I was on board. There were a host of different flavors, Ho-Ho's and whatnot, but Twinkie Balm was the clear choice. So now that we live in a world with both standard and medicated stick of goo twinkie incarnations, the burning question emerges: Is Twinkies Flavored Lip Balm better than an actual Twinkie?"

Entrepreneurs combine two miserable activities into one



Klevay has a tough enough job as it is getting today's youth to enjoy the printed word. That's why he will likely not be using SparkNotes' SAT Vocabulary Novels, which bring together the joys of both learning SAT vocabulary and wading through awful fiction.

Extreme Wake-Up Pranks

They must not have lawyers in Japan...

Another slipper option



"Monty Python Killer Rabbit Slippers - Each pair is one size fits most, and features flapping mouth action (when you walk, the mouth flaps)."

Rutabaga: "Your Root in the Third Millennium"



Rutabagas are arguably the hottest root vegetable on the market, and everyone wants a piece of the action:

- According to The Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute, Forest Grove, Oregon, has held onto the title of Rutabaga Capital of the World ever since 1951.

- Cumberland, Wisconsin, remains undeterred. The town is hosting its annual Rutabaga Fest August 23rd – 27th.

- The residents of Ithaca, New York, look to the rutabaga for athletic inspiration. The International Rutabaga Curling Championship will take place there this December 23rd.

Plan your travel schedules accordingly.

Take a break



Tired of all that reading material in most magazines? Skip it and take a look at NoTxt instead.

New Hasselhoff



"Secret Agent Man" gets the Hasselhoff treatment.

UPDATE: Want even more Hoff? Check out "Jump in my car."

Mood lighting



"Moody Buddha makes modular art lamps with your favorite artists’ work."

Stay safe on walks



Make sure to put on your full dog bite suit for protection before heading outdoors. I have it on good authority that each year about 300 kids under the age of five are injured specifically by canines.

Keep in touch with friends



"Send an E-Card from HeadLice.Org!"