Charles Ross has a big mouth and a lot of energy



Which are important things if you're acting out the entire Star Wars trilogy in an hour.

Check out sample videos here.

Drew comes up with a plan to unload junk

This seems like an excellent way to put Hillsdale's new alumni directory to good use:

"i gathered everything i didn’t want into one pile. compact discs, broken keyboards, books i never finished, old lamps, torn-up blankets, cans of tuna fish, and all the other crap that was just sitting in my house, taunting me. i separated it out into about fifteen different boxes, and then hit the internet.

"after searching around, i found that the high school i went to had a special page for alumni to list their current occupations and whereabouts. this was perfect. i copied down a bunch of addresses from people i didn’t even remember attending school with, and then set to work writing letters: DEAREST _____ (this is where i put the person’s name), THIS LETTER MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO YOU, BUT I AM PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE. ENCLOSED ARE SOME ITEMS WHICH YOU WILL FIND EXTREMELY VALUABLE. FOR THESE ITEMS, I HUMBLY REQUEST A FEE OF $70.00 (SEVENTY US DOLLARS) IN EXCHANGE FOR THEM. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO PAY FOR THESE ITEMS, PLEASE RETURN THEM POSTHASTE TO ____ ___ (and this is where i put the address of one of the other people i went to school with!!). THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOY THESE ITEMS TO THEIR FULLEST. YOURS, DREWEMBE MULATTO MARIMBA.

"then i put the letters in the boxes, addressed them, sealed them up, and dropped them off at the parcel-shipping office, instructing them to collect cash on delivery from the addressee. i put a fake return address so none of my crap would accidentally come back to me.

"i can not believe how well this strategy worked. i am sitting on my new couch right now, in my new house, with my dog sitting on the floor next to me, and there are exactly zero boxes full of thrift-store trophies or computer magazines from 1998. the internet helped me move in ways i never thought possible!"

Stephen Lynch is one of my favorite guilty pleasures - not for the easily offended. Or anyone who's capable of being offended for that matter....

Why Mommy Left Us

Special Fred

Superhero

This really needed a Tron guy cameo.

I am so behind on internet fads. Check out these YTMNDs.

The one that started it all, You're the Man Now Dog

What is NES love?

Iron Chef Grenade

What is Half-Life?

Advice from Mr. T

And of course:

I believe you have my stapler.

Or Did A-Ha take it?

And What is A-Ha completes not one, but two threepeats for a PoF cliche first and a double word score for six points. Yahtzee!

I don't know what else to say about this, except that this link belongs here: Walken 2008

A tribute to the South.

I thought Scott Stapp had already hit bottom, but apparently not...



So I'm curious and ask one of the guys what's going on. He tells me the background story: Apparently, one of their friends met Scott Stapp (who, because I find no problem with conflation, will for the rest of the story be referred to as "Creed") at an airport bar and the girl pretended to be interested. At the end of their conversation, he asked for her number and because she was going to Amsterdam, she gave Creed her friend's number instead. The girl then calls her friend and warns her that Creed might be calling her sometime in the future for a hook-up.

Which he does. Friday night. He flew into Orlando and gave the girl a call. The girl, thrilled at the prospect of making Creed look like an idiot, plays along. "You should drive up to Gainesville tonight to see me!" she says. Creed, because his star has fallen quite a bit recently (if you hadn't noticed) eagerly accepts the offer to drive 2 hours to get some pussy. I guess the groupies aren't lining up outside the airport like they used to.

I heard through the grapevine that night that Creed had actually kicked Scott Stapp out of their band. I don't know if this is true or not as no one on the Internet has any stories about it. But I googled him recently and found out that his solo career isn't taking off nearly like he expected, despite being the first released single off the Passion of the Christ Songs CD-- songs inspired by the movie. Mel Gibson hand picked him for a special screening, and he wrote a song after he was so personally affected by the movie. Douche.

Anyway, so the guy who was so spiritually affected by The Passion of the Christ is now hightailing it to Gainesville to tag a piece of ass he met in an airport bar. And he's having his ghettotastic hootchie skanky Jersey girl sleaze of a sister drive him. Yes, Creed is making his sister drive him to the Gainesville Denny's for a booty call.

And now, the rest of the story.

Classic Kids in the Hall: Dr. Seuss Bible

Beautiful the Musical finally has a website. Check it out and go see it at the Fringe!

TANSTAAFL

A while back I posted a rumor about Tim Minear adapting Robert Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress for the big screen. Looks like the project is still in limbo, but that Minear is taking is seriously.

There’s a lot of talking in the book – theoretical talking about Libertarian ideals and political structure and that sort of thing – how do you take that and make it immediate and dramatic and emotional? How do you say that stuff through scenes and action, as opposed to characters sitting around and having a conversation? That’s difficult. The other thing that is difficult is that there is also a certain amount of psychological pressure that I am trying to remove from myself when you’re adapting something like Heinlein. This book is so important to so many people and you don’t want to f*ck it up. So there’s that. You want to keep true to spirit of it, and you want to take this enormously long book, that takes place over a long period of time and try to do a version of it that will play for two hours on a movie screen. The other thing is to make sure the powers that be in Hollywood don’t force you to turn it into some Marxist screed on socialism, when Heinlein was a Libertarian and it’s about free-market capitalism. You want to try and not make it about an evil corporation. That’s the trick.

Office Assistant/Project Manager/Secretary

Date Posted: 07/18/2005

Job Type: Full Time

Description: The "Lost Liberty Hotel Project," (a movement to seize Supreme Court Justice Souter's home and turn it into a hotel for the "public good") is looking for an office assistant/project manager to start immediately. This is a project of Free Star Media, a freelance video production company seeking to eventually have a nationally broadcast TV newsmagazine. They are seeking a motivated individual who can take initiative.

No special skills required other than to be motivated, smart and resourceful. However, strong preference will be given to Objectivists (fans of Ayn Rand), libertarians or those that favor maximum freedom and minimum government.

The company uses a Mac computer so copy your resume and paste it into the body of your e-mail. Explain why you'd be a good fit for this job and include a photo.

Website: http://www.freestarmedia.com/

The whole Firefly/Serenity libertarian thing in a nutshell.

The series' central theme seems to concern the ineptitude of strong central government and its tendency to oppress and stifle rather than free or secure. As Mal says, "That's what governments are for, [to] get in a man's way."

"I'm crazy. Crazy like a fox motherfucker!"


Mike Tyson - Wikiquotes

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard."

"When I was in prison, I was wrapped up in all those deep books - that Tolstoy crap. People shouldn't read that stuff. When we read those books, what purpose does it serve in this day and time?"

"Real freedom is having nothing. I was freer when I didn't have a cent. Do you know what I do sometimes? Put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters."

“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

And many, many more.....
(via Cynical C)

We're overdue for a "how not to smuggle things" PSA....



Investigators say a bad toupe tipped them off to more than $100,000 worth of heroin hidden underneath -- superglued to the man's head.

Customs and border protection officers say the man, arriving on a flight from Columbia, glued 40 packets of heroin to his head.

"Because he used superglue, they took him to a medical facility to have it removed," said Officer Jennifer Conners. "Even at that, it pulled out the hair wherever they removed a package, so he ended up looking like a spotted cat."

Agents said they knew something was up because it was strange to see a 19-year-old wearing a toupe, and he was acting very nervous.

Psychiatry for Abused Stuffed Animals

Strangley addictive. I think I've driven all of my test subjects over the edge.

Liberality for All

America’s future has become an Orwellian nightmare of ultra-liberalism. Beginning with the Gore Presidency, the government has become increasingly dominated by liberal extremists.

In 2004, Muslim terrorists stopped viewing the weakened American government as a threat; instead they set their sites on their true enemies, vocal American conservatives. On one dark day, in 2006, many conservative voices went forever silent at the hands of terrorist assassins. Those which survived joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L.

Shouldn't there be a rule about having a sense of humor before you're allowed to write a comic book?

If you're looking for something new to listen to, check out the many summer mixes that have been contributed over at Yewknee.

More fun with Morgan Spurlock



30 days on nothing but whiskey.

The top 100 ebooks downloaded from Project Gutenburg.
I think we should all make a concerted effort to bump Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil (currently #17) up past the Koran (currently #16).

Tyrants From Afar - It's War of the Worlds without that nasty Cruise-infection.

Chris from the Family Guy collides with 80's pop nostalgia in the dairy aisle.

The third and newest iteration of the Serenity Trailer is excellent.

Sorry for the lack of posts. I had this pesky bar exam thing to get out of the way. More flair soon to come....

Fun with T-shirts



Americans for Prosperity and Rock the Vote recently waged a cotton war. Here's AFP's press release:

"Americans for Prosperity Foundation is organizing a youth protest of Rock the Vote's June 8 awards dinner in response to RTV's strong opposition to letting America's young workers voluntarily invest part of their Social Security taxes in higher-yielding personal retirement accounts.

"'Claiming to represent the best interests of young people and then fighting every effort to give young people more control over their own money and retirement security is practically the dictionary definition of hypocrisy,' said Americans for Prosperity spokesman Ed Frank. 'I think these t-shirts will fit the Rock the Vote staff very well at their big dinner.'"

And RTV's "Action Alert!":

"They call themselves Americans for Prosperity. They just sent us a box of t-shirts that mimic our I LOVE SOCIAL SECURITY shirts [but instead read I Love Hypocrisy]. A flattering imitation. But here's the thing: our t-shirts are UNION MADE IN THE U.S.A. Supporting the American way of life. Their shirts are MADE IN GUATEMALA. Probably in a sweatshop." (THE HORROR!)

"Now which group is really americans for prosperity, and which group is really a bunch of hypocrites? Get your I LOVE SOCIAL SECURITY shirts today!"

Who would wear any of this crap? It's nice to see activists being productive with their time and other people's money.

Hasselhoff is Hooked on a Feeling

Although there are MANY excellent things to choose from, I think the great white hunter ooga-booga scenes are my favorite.

Firefly Obsession Update...

Someone's put together a nice spoof of the opening credits of Firefly.

SciFi channel has put together a better site than the real one.

And for a fun bit of speculation... according to Alan Tudyk (who would never lie to me! never, ever!), there is a three-picture Firefly contract with Universal.

Update: Check out the new international trailer that just went up. Best one yet.

If he can save middle earth, the middle east should be a cakewalk...

Plans by an alliance of rightwing extremists and football hooligans to exact "revenge" on Muslims after last week's bomb attacks are being monitored by police.

Football hooligans communicating over the internet have spoken of the need to put aside partisan support for teams and unite against Muslims. Hooligans from West Ham, Millwall, Crystal Palace and Arsenal are among those seeking to establish common cause.

Thanks to Malice.

Which one of you bastards ratted me out? Why did this arrive in my mailbox?!? Victor? Mark? Christy? Sarah? Marc with a "c"? Matt???? Not funny, people. Not funny.

Michael Malice must be vying for a spot of Cruel Site of the Day. This is perhaps his most disturbing blog post ever (which as his regular readers will attest is a bold claim) and yet one more reminder of why I don't miss living in New York.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mike.

Update: new link

The Nuge to take aim at the Michigan gubernatorial race?


The self-described "Rosa Parks with a guitar and a raised middle finger" might be bringing his right-wing politics-on-steroids to the Michigan Governor's Mansion.

He's considering a "high-percentage maybe" run for the office. He yells at me his platform, which includes something about "cops that have their legs blown off and soldiers who are in wheelchairs and children with leukemia, who don't get the money because some fat pig welfare brat is sitting on his worthless (expletive.)"

The NRA board member, Fox News talking head and author of books such as "Gods, Guns, and Rock 'N' Roll," "Blood Trails 2" and "Kill It & Grill It: A Guide to Preparing and Cooking Wild Game and Fish" recently moved his family — his wife, Shemane, and the four kids — to Crawford, Texas because he liked the school system there. Nugent divides his time between Crawford and a home near Jackson, Mich., and maintains Michigan residency.

Not that I agree with everything the man has to say, but this could go a long way towards redeeming that state.

I know what I want for Christmas...



a Mexican wrestler handbag. Sweet. (via BoingBoing)

For a slow-moving Sunday.. watch Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Slate reviews Toothpaste for Dinner



"It's an exercise in virtual behaviorism: Like rats in a Skinner Box, we click and get an instant reward. Even its inconsistency makes it more clickable; it's an old chestnut of behaviorism that the best way to cause an addiction is not through consistent payoff but through what psychologists call a "variable ratio schedule"—a powerful reward (food pellet, good joke) unpredictably dispensed. This is why slot machines are like crack and why we spend all day checking our e-mail. Toothpaste for Dinner gives you a perfect moment on the eighth click, then the second, then the 12th. It's a slot machine of comedy: If you laugh once, you have to keep clicking until you win again."

Morgan Spurlock Watch (thanks to Todd)

Though I gotta admit... I like some of his TV episodes.

More magic tricks that don't suck - watch Rico Suave pull a coin out of his arm.

Bananaphone made me do it.

Bono must have the last word



"When a star stops shining, when the drummer stops drumming, when the song comes to an end, there is silence.

"And so it is with death. But the sombre loneliness of death is soon broken by the tributes. Family and friends pay homage to the dead one's life - his personal and professional achievements. Some of these tributes are simple, haltering words spoken by grieving relatives. But some tributes come from more stranger sources...

"Often first on the scene to pay tribute is Mr Bono, the lead singer of U2. It doesn't really matter who has died. It could be a rockstar, a poet or a politician, but Bono will often take time off from wrestling with the twin Gods of irony and conviction to offer a few words of solace.

"Now - for the first time in colour - themanwhofellasleep has collected together a few of hair-weave-hero Bono's most poignant tributes to the dead."

Here's one more - to Samuel Beckett:

"It's kind of sad he never made it home, but he dreamt of other lands, of another home, Where The Streets Have No Name." (cue guitar)

There's actually a contest



"A state lawmaker is pushing for doggy seat belts on the advice of an 11-year-old constituent. Marc McCann of Green Tree came up with the idea as part of state Rep. Tom Stevenson's annual "There Ought to be a Law" contest.

"Stevenson, R-Pa., submitted a bill to the House Transportation Committee in June that would require drivers to keep their dogs' heads inside the vehicle at all times. Stevenson also wants to require drivers to restrain the animals, either with some kind of modified seat belt or in a crate or carrier box.

"'I never did like dogs sticking their heads out the window,' said McCann, one of more than 500 students from his legislative district who proposed laws. 'Maybe a sign might have been too close to the road and they'd get hit. Maybe they'd jump out the window on a highway.'

"Stevenson said the bill will protect 'not only human lives, but pet lives. I think it's going to be a great idea because it's going to cut down on driver distractions.'"

Yay for safety.

Poodle Disguise Kit


..to make your dog look less intimidating. Personally, I find the *after* much more terrifying than the *before.*

I've always been a fan of "Frontier Psychiatrist" by the Avalanches, but the video puts it over the top. Good fun.

Somehow I think Anne Geddes is to blame...


The Vagina Lady

Vagina Lady’s efforts span multiple platforms. It began with a few interactive pillows. She has since created and worn a series of handmade vagina costumes to San Francisco bay area events for several years. Now favoring wall art, her textural sculptures adorn her intensely feminine bathroom-cum-gallery. She relishes the astonishment and delight with which people view her artwork.

Perhaps my geekiest post ever....

Hearsay exceptions explained in song... and in lego.

I have it on excellent authority that Hillsdale College has officially "lost" me. Way to go team. Keep up the good work. It's like Schindler's List all over again.

Good times, making friends



New to the neighborhood? Break the ice and show your neighbors your sense of humor by placing some wacky magnetic bumper stickers on their vehicle.

The Freaky Universe of McDonald's Advertising

People who aren't scholars of McDonaldland history usually assume that Grimace was just born "that way"--that his persona goes hand-in-hand with McDonald's support for the Special Olympics, so to speak. They forget that Grimace used to be a malicious, four-armed hoodlum who stole beverages and scuttled sideways like an actor who had no idea how heavy the costume would be.

Certainly no worse than any other commercials from that era, but highly entertaining nonetheless.

Gangsta Gadgets

This is too good not to post in its entirety:

Press Release

For Release Monday, June 27 to New Hampshire media
For Release Tuesday, June 28 to all other media

Weare, New Hampshire (PRWEB) Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter? A new ruling by the Supreme Court which was supported by Justice Souter himself itself might allow it. A private developer is seeking to use this very law to build a hotel on Souter's land.

Justice Souter's vote in the "Kelo vs. City of New London" decision allows city governments to take land from one private owner and give it to another if the government will generate greater tax revenue or other economic benefits when the land is developed by the new owner.

On Monday June 27, Logan Darrow Clements, faxed a request to Chip Meany the code enforcement officer of the Towne of Weare, New Hampshire seeking to start the application process to build a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road. This is the present location of Mr. Souter's home.

Clements, CEO of Freestar Media, LLC, points out that the City of Weare will certainly gain greater tax revenue and economic benefits with a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road than allowing Mr. Souter to own the land.

The proposed development, called "The Lost Liberty Hotel" will feature the "Just Desserts Café" and include a museum, open to the public, featuring a permanent exhibit on the loss of freedom in America. Instead of a Gideon's Bible each guest will receive a free copy of Ayn Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged."

Clements indicated that the hotel must be built on this particular piece of land because it is a unique site being the home of someone largely responsible for destroying property rights for all Americans.

"This is not a prank" said Clements, "The Towne of Weare has five people on the Board of Selectmen. If three of them vote to use the power of eminent domain to take this land from Mr. Souter we can begin our hotel development."

Clements' plan is to raise investment capital from wealthy pro-liberty investors and draw up architectural plans. These plans would then be used to raise investment capital for the project. Clements hopes that regular customers of the hotel might include supporters of the Institute For Justice and participants in the Free State Project among others.

(Thanks to Todd and Bretigne)

Paula Abdul grosses America out, calls for more regulation



While some celebrities waste their time on causes like world hunger and disease, Paula Abdul has chosen to address the growing problem of shoddy manicures. Supposedly, she began her testimony with the phrase "There ought to be a law..."

"'American Idol' judge Paula Abdul urged California legislators to force nail salons to clean up their act, testifying Monday about her yearlong health ordeal after an unsanitary manicure.

"'Being a professional dancer, I'm no stranger to pain, but this time the pain was so excruciating that even my hair touching my thumb caused me to scream,' Abdul told the California Senate Business and Professions Committee in Sacramento.

"The legislation, sponsored by Democratic Assemblyman Leland Yee, would establish safety standards for manicure and pedicure equipment and rewrite state regulations mandating that nail shops follow sanitary practices.

"'I was publicly humiliated,' Abdul said in her closing statement. 'That is why with an open heart and a selfless agenda, I implore you to pass this bill.'"

FedEx Furniture

FedEx Furniture is furniture put together by empty FedEx Boxes, and held together by fedex packaging supplies. All of the furniture seen here is 100% functional. The couch is standing/sleeping approved, I sleep on the bed every night, I eat at the dining table, and I work at the desk almost 20 hours a day.

Sometimes you just gotta love Texas:

Hours after the court's 5-4 ruling came down, Rep. Frank Corte Jr., R-San Antonio, said he would seek "to defend the rights of property owners in Texas" by proposing a state constitutional amendment limiting local powers of eminent domain, or condemnation.

This just creeps me out...



"City Hideout," from Dutch design studio OOOMS, is a portable temporary dwelling made to fit one seated adult. The collapsable metal box resembles the kind of streetside sheds that commonly house electrical devices such as streetlight controls, new-age parking meters, and small generators. The hideout can be easily assembled on any corner or rooftop as the ultimate urban camouflage.

Sad Day... IJ lost the Kelo case 5-4. Say goodbye to your property rights. With this, the Medical Marijuana case and the Wine case, it makes it a 1-2 win-loss record for the libertarians this year. This is starting to make me think that public interest law is just as pointless as the rest of it.

Korean School Kids Express Their Feelings About Japan Through Art

Fashion Highs and Lows of the Westboro Baptist Church



Grandma's rolled up pants aren't doing her any favors. It'd be one thing if her shins were worth showing, but they aren't. I typically try to avoid making sweeping generalizations, but Westboro Baptist Church members have by far the most unattractive shins of any hate group in the country. As for the grandson, his hooded sweatshirt is trendy enough, but one wonders why he's wearing velcro-laced sneakers. He appears to be old enough to know how to tie his shoes. Perhaps he's "special."
GRADES:
Grandma: C
Grandson: B-

Milk and Cookies falls for Hayek



Posts a link to Mises.org, and the link even gets a good rating:

"The Road to Serfdom: The classic argument against 'economic planning' in cartoon form."

Maddox on Star Wars 3: I didn't think it was possible to be more unimpressed with Star Wars. Today, I stand corrected. If you were unfortunate enough to hear your stupid co-workers yammering on about Lucas' latest shit burger, you might have heard them saying something like "I didn't like the first two, but this one was good!" When I ask why, these people have trouble responding because it's hard to talk with George Lucas' flaccid penis in their collective mouths. Perhaps the question I should be asking is "why didn't you like the other two movies if you liked this one?" Nothing has changed. You have the same vacant-looking actors running around, aimlessly bumping into things, an army of stupid, sensitive robots, and dialogue clumsy enough to warrant putting a handicap sticker on George Lucas' car.

Couldn't agree more.

Katie Holmes converts, starts a movement



Despite claims that Fictionology is all the rage, Scientology has at least one new convert:

"At the London premiere of Batman Begins Sunday, Holmes was asked if she was embracing Scientology. 'Yes, I am, and I'm really excited about it,' she told reporters, adding that she's begun taking classes.

"Last week, the actress told Access Hollywood that she was a big fan of the faith.

"'I have looked into it myself, and I really like it, and I think it's really wonderful,' Holmes said.

"Meanwhile, Cruise, 42, told Entertainment Weekly that Holmes, 26, 'digs' the religion. Asked if he had become more outspoken about his beliefs recently, the actor replied, 'I've always been passionate about it.'

"Last month, Cruise sent eyebrows skyrocketing with his now infamous appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, during which he bounded around the stage, springing on and off furniture, before sinking to the floor to declare his rapturous admiration for Cruise.

"Following the Oprah appearance, a newly created Website called FreeKatie.net began hawking merchandise bearing the slogan 'Free Katie' and proclaiming itself dedicated to 'the movement to liberate Katie, a young, gifted actress held captive by forces we may never understand. Even one summer of captivity is too long for one so bright!'"

Steve from The Sneeze tries Pruno



It's not just for prison anymore:

"Through some miracle, it actually tasted nothing like it smelled. In fact, there was very little flavor other than sour, watery alcohol. It's hard to believe this started out as a bag of fruit snacks and grape juice. Yet somehow these ingredients went from sweet and child-like to harsh and alcoholic quicker than Lindsay Lohan."

Owen Wilson has thoroughly redeemed himself from co-starring in all those mediocre Ben Stiller flicks with his assessment of the Dalai Lama:

The Starsky and Hutch star, 36, went to hear the Tibetan holy man speak to "impress a girl" - but he found himself utterly nauseated by the audience and speaker alike.

He fumes: "The crowd made me want to throw up. At the end of his corny lecture, with a bunch of goofball utopian ideals, he opened it up to questions.

"Somebody asked, 'What's the answer to world hunger?' And his answer was like, 'Sharing!' And everyone oohed and aahed like he'd just solved the problem.

Portal LARP and a Counter Strike spoof - more nerds caught on tape.

Some days it's just hard to keep your head on straight.

As Victor noted earlier in the week, today is our two-year bloggiversary. Go team!

The Cubans continue their streak as the most innovative car-modders on earth.

Dance, Dance Immolation!

Keeping the Mellencamps in business



Matt Welch at Reason via Josh Hall at Division of Labour:

"More intriguing are the namesakes - and likely family members - of singer John Mellencamp, who co-founded the annual Farm Aid benefit concert 20 years ago because (as he recently told the Washington Post) the government was 'running the small family farm...out of business.' There are 34 Mellencamps in the Environmental Working Group's database, 12 of whom come from a single 20,000-resident town, Seymour, Indiana, which happens to be John Mellencamp's birthplace.

"From 1995 to 2003, Seymour's Mellencamps received a whopping $1,297,247 in subsidies."

Mr. Sorens must be influencing all the wrong people. While the libertarians have set their sights on New Hampshire, the fundies are looking to South Carolina for the promised land:

ChristianExodus.org is moving thousands of Christians to South Carolina to reestablish constitutionally limited government founded upon Christian principles.

This of couse would include getting rid of that pesky theory of evolution, prosecuting homosexuality, banning abortion, and you can probably guess the rest.

Of course, the fundies lack a cute mascot, so I question their recruiting abilities.

Penn Jillette names daughter Moxie CrimeFighter

"We chose her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding she can say, `But officer, we're on the same side,'" Jillette explained. "`My middle name is CrimeFighter.'"

The typically mute Teller had no comment on the new arrival.

Penn rocks.

These are my all-time favorite Conan clips. Behold, the comedic power of Walker, Texas Ranger!

Planning a get together and can't seem to find the right entertainment? McRorie - perfect for every occasion.

The Star Wars Orchestra in Legomation

Todd's essay on Star Wars fandom and other geeky stuff on Metaphilm just made BoingBoing. Congrats!

My name is C-3P0. I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication and I do a fantastic Al Jolson impersonation.

Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes

Victor has some plog competition. It sure is... inspiring.

The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Show

Jello Shots are so 1995...

Try Guiness-sicles.

I is a lawyer! Woot!

Autoblogger

Sick of trying to keep fickle readers happy every single day? Pjammer suggests that you make the switch.

Commission a portrait of yourself next to Stevie Nicks



Thanks to Drew for bringing this everyone's attention:

"My portrait commissions can start as low as $252 for a single person, size 8” x 12” with a simple background in full colour. Please know that I can also offer a convenient installment plan for your purchase, whereby you pay a portion every month according to your budget. You receive the finished portrait upon making your final installment. So, a portrait need not be unattainable at all!"

Update on Hurricane relief

In July 2003, Economic Inquiry published an article by Thomas Garrett and Russell Sobel stating:

"We find that presidential and congressional influences affect the rate of disaster declaration and the allocation of FEMA disaster expenditures across states. States politically important to the president have a higher rate of disaster declaration by the president, and disaster expenditures are higher in states having congressional representation on FEMA oversight committees. Election year impacts are also found. Our models predict that nearly half of all disaster relief is motivated politically rather than by need. The findings reject a purely altruistic model of FEMA assistance and question the relative effectiveness of government versus private disaster relief."

Last August questions regarding the real purpose of Hurricane disaster aid were raised on PoF and later here. Now, USA Today reports that FEMA is coming under fire for its questional approach to assistance:

"The federal government gave $31 million in disaster relief for Hurricane Frances to 12,000 Florida residents who were not directly hit by the hurricane last fall and may not have deserved any money, government auditors say in a report to be released Wednesday.

"The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) didn't adequately inspect homes and used a system of aid payments "susceptible to potential fraud, waste and abuse," says the report by the Department of Homeland Security inspector general.

"The findings are the latest to point at questionable disaster relief payments made by FEMA. Audits dating back at least a decade have shown similar problems elsewhere.

"The latest report said that FEMA paid $15,742 for three funerals without any proof that the deaths were disaster-related. The agency also paid $2.7 million to repair 2,180 homes even though inspectors didn't have proper documentation, and residents were reimbursed $192,592 for chainsaws, generators and other unverified expenses, the report said."

The 50 worst hairstyles of all time



"From the old standbys of ugliness like, The Mullet and Comb-Over to new additions to the bad hair lexicon like, The Career Terminator and The Gangsta Pimp- they are all here. We hope you enjoy our list of the 50 Worst Hairstyles of All-Time."

I'm finished my last law school exam at noon today. I leave New York tomorrow. It's been swell.

I may be somewhat obsessed, but I draw the line at paying over $40 for scalped tickets to an unfinished movie.

Happy Mother's Day!

110,000 Volt Taser Cannon - when we have to battle our robot overlords in the coming apocalypse... I want one.

Olive Garden puts math-challenged Canadians to the test



If you live in Canada (but not in Quebec) and dream of traveling to Italy to eat America's version of Italian food, then you'd better start brushing up on your arithmetic:

"JUDGING: Winners will be selected in a random drawing during the week of 06/06/05 from among all complete and eligible entries received. Drawing will be conducted by Marden-Kane, Inc. an independent judging organization whose decisions are final and binding. Odds of winning depend on the total number of eligible entries received. Only one prize per person, family or household. All prizes will be awarded. Canadian winners will be required to correctly answer a time-limited, mathematical skill-testing question administered by mail." (emphasis added)

I threw up



Get your stickers now and start having fun:

"Q: WHAT IS IMPLIED REGURGITATION?

"A: An experimental sticker campaign which strives to manipulate
meaning by altering the multitudes of messages that surround us.
It is an exploration of not only the process of implication, but the
creative reclamation of advertising & public spaces. The stickers
are designed to work like cartoon speech bubbles, and are usually
placed strategically as to indicate speech. Target images are usually
people, animals, or any sort of personified object or character."

Speculation begins regarding what to expect from the J.Lo administration's first 100 days



"After conquering Hollywood and the pop charts, Latina superstar Jennifer Lopez says she is ready to wrestle George W. Bush out of the White House.

"'I'm a total powerhouse. If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president -- that would be really cool,' J.Lo told German celebrity glossy Bravo in an issue to be published Wednesday.

"'The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House -- it doesn't look very cozy.'"

Congratulations go out to Anne and the Etc. troupe for getting their show, "The Magificent Hour," and to Mike and Stephen for getting "Beautiful" into the NYC Fringe Festival. I may have to plan a trip back here in August....

Make Mine Shoebox

More great stuff from Chris Harding.