Grand Junction, CO, drops in livability rankings



Mark Mathis, weatherman extraordinaire, Vance Poole look-a-like, and star of "Where the Heart Is" and the underrated "Girls in Uniform," has moved on from North Carolina to sunny Colorado following the loss of his job due to alcohol and cocaine abuse.

"'They said I could do the weather like I do it in Charlotte,' says Mathis, 38, who once dressed as a snowflake to do his forecast.

"'I wanted to get back in the game. I've been sober for five months now and I'm looking to get my career started back.'"

When meat and paint collide: the art of Victoria Reynolds.

The Decadent West vs. Five Year Olds

"I support your vagina"



"The off-Broadway hit 'The Vagina Monologues' has gotten two high school students into trouble.

"The students were admonished for wearing buttons inspired by the show that say 'I (heart) My Vagina.'

"The American Civil Liberties Union of Minnesota has offered to help students fight any consequences from their actions.

"The trouble started last month after student Carrie Rethlefsen saw Eve Ensler's play about female sexuality and sexual violence against women. Rethlefsen and fellow student Emily Nixon soon began wearing the buttons.

"As a show of support, more than 100 students have ordered T-shirts bearing 'I (heart) My Vagina' for girls and 'I Support Your Vagina' for boys."

It's some good



From WASAW:

"IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A 'POTATO CHIP SANDWICH?'

"Of course there is. Potato chip sandwiches are considered White Trash cuisine. You take two pieces of white bread, slather each with mayo, pile chips on one of the slices, then top it with the other slice and smash it down until the chips are totally crushed. Uh… not that I make that or anything."

Cartels and BB guns



From Division of Labour:

"In preparing my MBA class tonight on Oligopoly and Game Theory, I was reminded of a clip at the beginning of The Royal Tenenbaums that demonstrates how easily collusion falls apart:

son Chas and dad Royal are waiting in ambush with BB guns for two other kids:

Royal--Hold it Chassie, hold it right there (pointing gun at Chas instead).
Chas--What are you doing? You're on my team!
Royal--Haha, There ARE no teams! (shoots at Chas)
Narrator--The BB was still lodged between two knuckles in Chas' left hand."

Who Aspiring Drunks Want to Be

Meet Henry Earl. Henry has been arrested over 900 times for alcohol-related offenses. There are several Henry Earl fansites, but this one goes a step further and offers real time updates on Henry's incarceration status via RSS feed and even a Firefox extention.

Henry's exactly the right balance between extremely pitiful and incredibly amusing. You feel bad for him on one hand, but then the guy looks so strangely happy in (most of) his mugshots. And if you read the stories about him, you'll see that he's got an awful lot of personality. Certainly more than your basic town drunk. Henry is an icon, a work of performance art. He's like an Otis Campbell for the 21st century. He's our schadenfreudic touchstone of intoxication.

In case you haven't gotten enough of Henry, there are Henry oil paintings, mugshot galleries, a calendar, a webstore, and even a band named for him (which is pretty flair-worthy in itself).

But does it come with a drowning Leo?



How better than to commemorate human tragedy than with a giant, inflatable slide? I'm thinking China-Inflatable really needs to develop a whole line of these. Why stop with just the one?

I think I found where the old MTV is hiding: Gran Faro.

Stephen Hawking He-Man painting complete



The wait is over - see it, hear it, believe it.

Celebrities in Japanese Commercials Ironically, Bill Murray is not on the list.

Update: You must check out: the Mike Tyson clip, the Brad Pitt "stair surfing" and "street dancing" clips and the Sylvester Stallone "I'm a sophisticated ham-eater" clips. Be sure to comment on any other good finds.

Dirty Minute Meals



I've always found her annoying and potentially seizure-inducing, but perhaps I haven't been paying close enough attention:

"[I]n the time it takes you to read this website, I will have given you a delicious and revelatory look into America's Sweetheart Rachael Ray's smoldering, white-hot sexuality.

"'What?!' you ask, 'You can't mean the almost unbearably perky, squeaky clean, children's-book-writing Rachael Ray on the Food Network?'

"Yes, her. And I'll prove it."

Doll factory attracts Soderbergh to sleepy Ohio town



"On the front door of Lee Middleton Dolls, the primary location for the film, a sign informs visitors when tours are canceled 'due to the filming of a movie.'

"For the most part, only the locals in the spotlight — the movie was cast exclusively in the area — are in the loop.

"Filming at the factory was scheduled to wrap up last week but continue elsewhere in the area for two more weeks. The movie is expected to be released in the fall.

"Soderbergh — who won an Academy Award for Traffic and also directed Erin Brockovich and sex, lies,and videotape — said he chose Belpre from among three possible locations for a simple reason: 'The doll factory.'"

Lemon... lemonade.

/too tired to think of anything better.

There ought to be a law mandating golf helmets



"The increasing popularity of children's golf has teed off an upswing in golf-related head injuries among youngsters, a new study finds.

"Researchers at the Medical College of Georgia reviewed the cases of more than 2,500 patients under age 19 seen by neurosurgeons between 1996 and 2002. They identified 64 sports-related injuries, including 15 golf-related injuries. Of those injuries, seven were caused by golf cart accidents, seven by golf clubs and one by being struck with a golf ball."

Belated Correction:

Scott (who is far more attuned to New York journalism than I'll ever be) kindly pointed out an error in last month's post about the NY Press guy who turned out to be a satanist:

"Alan Cabal was not the editor of NYPress who resigned; Jeff Koyen was. After the Pope piece ran, Cabal wrote a nasty letter to Koyen in which he resigned his position as a staff writer in protest of such a poor piece running in the paper -- a symbolic exercise more than anything, since Cabal had written, like, one piece for them in the past two years. Koyen wrote an especially juvenile reply to Cabal's resignation, and the Press saw fit to print both in their letter column, which is a sadly accurate reflection of the tragic disrepair into which the paper has fallen."

This is why I try to avoid using facts when I blog.

Someone had the brilliant idea of scraping craigslist for rent ads, sorting them by rent, and google-mapping them. This just made my apartment search much easier. via BoingBoing

Friedman on prohibition



via Division of Labour.

This Completes the Trilogy...


David Horowitz Hit With Pie

The irony is particularly tasty. For the curious, Richard Roeper has a list of famous food attacks. (Scroll down)

We are idiots.

LNSEMSF - Leonard Nimoy Should Eat More Salsa Foundation
We here at the LNSEMSF believe that Leonard Nimoy is excellent, and salsa is excellent, and if Leonard Nimoy would eat more salsa, he would become an unstoppable force of excellence.

Could you be a Jehovah's Witness?

Apparently, I'm a double-BeeGee born under the influence of Staying Alive. Welcome to Popstrology. Sadly, this is probably far more informative than a lot of belief systems floating around out there.

Can anyone tell me why Serenity still doesn't have a decent website? Honestly, that glorified message board is the perhaps the lamest website for a movie ever. EVER.

I don't know who, I don't know why, and I don't know how anyone managed to keep a straight face. Vive les 70s.

Apparently, the in April Fool's thing is blog-parody this year. Just take a look at: BoringBoring, Go Hug Yourself, Overheard in Space, and The Glory Hole of Carniola (aka Slovenes Gone Wild). I would do something similar, but that would require, you know, effort.

Ranch dressing: The condiment of the new millenium



"Commentator and former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan cut short an appearance after an opponent of his conservative views doused him with salad dressing.

"'Stop the bigotry!' the demonstrator shouted as he hurled the liquid Thursday night during the program at Western Michigan University. The incident came just two days after another noted conservative, William Kristol, was struck by a pie during an appearance at Earlham College in Indiana.

"After he was hit, Buchanan cut short his question-and-answer session with the audience, saying, 'Thank you all for coming, but I’m going to have to get my hair washed.'"

Mr. Malice must not be getting enough attention these days if he's taking the time to disparage my fondness for Dave Barry on his allegedly defunct website. Well here's what I think of that.

I think I missed my calling...



Hans Solo in Carbonite in Lego

You should also check out Liberty Jedi, Alfred Hitchcock, and the World.

Derren Brown is a fun find. He's pretty excellent without all the self-congratulatory annoyingness of a Copperfield or Blaine. Like Penn & Teller, he’s also out to debunk a lot of cons a la John Edwards. He has way too many pictures of himself on his website which suggests that he could develop one of those bizarrely overblown magician/con-man egos, but I am hopeful that he will avoid that dark and evil path. These nifty video clips have enough material in them to fill an entire season of Bullshit. Good stuff - especially for the anti-new age crowd.

PSAs for the day:

- Don't even bother renting The Ring Two or I ♥ Huckabees
- Do bother to check out RadioDavidByrne

The Old Negro Space Program

Social Theorists in Lego
I guess Michel Foucault is as close to the philosophy set as I'm going to get... I can dream.

Just when I think the internet was starting to run out of surprises, something like this rolls along: Mariko Takahashi's Fitness Video

We Have Decided Not to Die - an experimental film that doesn't suck.

Celebrate the opening of "Melinda and Melinda" with your very own piece of courtroom art



"Woody Allen/Mia Farrow Custody Trial - trial date 1993

"Allegations of sexual misconduct with his step-daughter, led to the judges awarding custody of their children to Mia Farrow, but he was granted visitation rights for his biological son."

More dating help is on the way



"Welcome to Libertarian Passions!

"A free online dating site specifically for Libertarian singles. If you believe in free will, individual liberty, and personal responsibility, Libertarian Passions is the site for you."

As much as I love the movies, I just can't bring myself to approve: Lord of the Rings, the Musical set to Open in London.

Happy St. Urho's Day!!!!



One of the lesser known, but extraordinary legends of ages past is the legend of St. Urho - patron saint of the Finnish vineyard workers.

Before the last glacial period wild grapes grew with abundance in the area now known as Finland. Archaeologists have uncovered evidence of this scratched on the thigh bones of the giant bears that once roamed northern Europe. Th wild grapes were threatened by a plagud of grasshoppers until St. Urho banished the lot of them with a few selected Finnish words.

In the memory of this impressive demonstration of the Finnish language, Finnish people celebrate on March 16., the day before St. Patricks day. It tends to serve as a reminder that St. Pat's day is just around the corner and is thus celebrated by squares. At sunrise on March 16. Finnish women and children dressed in royal purple and nile green gather around the shores of the many lakes in Finland and chant what St. Urho chanted many years ago: "Heinasirkka, heinasirkka, menetaalta hiiteen." (Translated: "Grasshopper, grasshopper, go away!")

Adult male, (people, not grasshoppers) dressed in green costumes gather on the hills overlooking the lakes, listen to the chant and then kicking out like grasshoppers, they slowly disappear to change costumes from green to purple. Th celebration ends with singing and dancing polkas and schottisches and drinking grape juice. Though these activities may occur in varying sequences.

Color for the day is royal purple and nile green.

I'm off for spring break for TWO WEEKS (WOOT!)... posting may or may not happen....

Buddy Rich vs. Animal at the Muppet Show

Just when you thought Joan and Melissa Rivers had sucked all the humor out of fashion: Go Fug Yourself

Summer is on the way



Don't get caught on the beach without the latest fashions from WholesomeWear.

"The True Adventures of Chad, The Guy Who Was So Into Super Monkeyball Deluxe That He Decided to Live in a Ball"

Better than a magazine subscription...


Unfortunate Animal of the Month Club
(fair warning - this is the least disturbing part of this site)

Great music, stylish duds



From Jim Wirt, the artist who created the incredible DVD box art for Nicole Kidman's classic BMX Bandits, comes the multimedia experience that is Coloring Book.

McCain hate blogs! Free speech bad!



From Division of Labour, FEC Commissioner Brad Smith explains to CNET magazine what the future holds for online politicking if McCain-Feingold stays on course:

CNET: "If Congress doesn't change the law, what kind of activities will the FEC have to target?"

SMITH: "We're talking about any decision by an individual to put a link (to a political candidate) on their home page, set up a blog, send out mass e-mails, any kind of activity that can be done on the Internet."

CNET: "So if you're using text that the campaign sends you, and you're reproducing it on your blog or forwarding it to a mailing list, you could be in trouble?"

SMITH: "Yes. In fact, the regulations are very specific that reproducing a campaign's material is a reproduction for purpose of triggering the law. That'll count as an expenditure that counts against campaign finance law.

"This is an incredible thicket. If someone else doesn't take action, for instance in Congress, we're running a real possibility of serious Internet regulation. It's going to be bizarre."

Take the Fat Guy Shirts challenge



"Nobody wants to see you naked, but we guarantee people will picture it immediately upon seeing this shirt. And if you're lucky, they'll dream about it too."

Would a Satanic Eucharist Use Sour Grapes?

Following the blowup over the truly tasteless Pope bit that ran in the NY Press, editor Alan Cabal resigned. Now Hit and Run picks up the fun twist that Cabal is a satanist and a whiner to boot:

Gone are the great iconoclasts... What fills the space? Bullies like J.R. Taylor and dickless juveniles like Matt Taibbi, whose hack tendencies clearly run in the family. Daddy does Michael Jackson on NBC, Sonny Boy trashes the Pope in a meaningless cat box liner. ...

Lightweights all, desperately striving to be dangerous while leaving open the possibility of some safe and secure upward mobility in the defanged world of mainstream media. I'm a certified Satanist, and our current issue featuring Taibbi's adolescent assault on the Pope embarrassed me. It was a waste of paper, and a mere insult, not in the least bit challenging, to the city's Roman Catholic population. He could have gone into P2, Marcinkus, and the assassination of John Paul I, but no, the lazy brat just ran off a stupid and ugly list that a 12 year old Marilyn Manson fan could have done better.

I should also add that having met J.R. Taylor and heard postive reviews from Todd, he hardly strikes me as a "bully." Although, admittedly, my first-hand knowledge is limited here...

Telling it like it is



In this video from Milk and Cookies, Televangelist Benny Hinn's wife Suzanne lets women know why they need to trade their high heels for combat boots. But not, of course, before their "holy ghost enema."

Bunch of cute toons over at Kozo the Sumo Hippo - I liked The Snowman in Particular.

Best Comic Ever...


The Complete Calvin & Hobbes Archive

Heironymus Bosch Figurines

Here's a PSA I bet you never thought of: beware of upper-decking.

(Yes, I know, I'm sorry for even posting it - but if I have to live with this knowledge, so do you.)

Gothamist has a nice interview with John Stossel posted along with a plug for his 20/20 special tonight on colorism.

When Billionaires Attack...



The NY Post reports that a feud is brewing between George Soros and Richard Mellon Scaife, two of the best mealtickets currently tinkering with politics.

Left-wing billionaire George Soros claims right-wing billionaire Richard Mellon Scaife is trying to smear him by posting an embarrassing story on the Internet. Soros is being sued for $6 million by a carpet installer who claims the investor's Labrador attacked him in 2004 when he came to work at Soros' Westchester estate. Yesterday, Cybercast News Service (www.CNSNews.com) posted a story claiming that Soros and his son, Gregory, acted negligently. Soros' rep, Michael Vachon, told PAGE SIX that Scaife funds the site through his Media Research Center and called the story a "smear attack" Scaife has launched against Soros. But CNS's Scott Hogenson denies there was any agenda, and sniffed: "Soros knows a thing or two about smear campaigns, having spent $23 million on them in the last election."

This so needs to be an episode of Springer.

Need a date?

"Welcome to the first online dating experience designed exclusively for adults with serious mental illness. No Longer Lonely is the ultimate icebreaker:

* Never have to worry again about disclosure of your condition
* No need to hide those pill bottles
* Never again have to explain your erratic work experience
* No more stigma-induced disappointments
* Finding someone who can really understand your struggles and accomplishments"

From the same guy who brought us tiny plaid ninjas comes a trippy flash video for Cake's "Comfort Eagle." Not bad.

Jay McCarroll of Bravo's Project Runway shows up some guy named Donny Deutsch on his own show:

DEUTSCH: You are a fashion designer. You are a fashion expert. You could theoretically go into your closet and say, `I'm going to put together the stupidest combination of stuff, but because I'm wearing it, it's fashion.' I mean, I like--if I wore that stuff they would take me away, you know, and then put me in an insane asylum.
Mr. McCARROLL: Is `stupidest' a word?
DEUTSCH: No, no, but with you it's the equivalent--no...
Mr. McCARROLL: No, I'm just saying, isn't it `most stupid,' or is it
`stupidest'?
DEUTSCH: Did I say `stupidest'?
Mr. McCARROLL: You said `stupidest.'
DEUTSCH: OK. Well...
Mr. McCARROLL: Whatever.
DEUTSCH: And they give a guy like me a talk show, huh?
Mr. McCARROLL: You're most stupid.

Blatantly stolen from Gothamist

More on McCarroll from his Bravo FAQ:

Q: If you could design an outfit for any living person, who would be your dream client and why?

A: I would have to say Amy Sedaris because she is f--king funny. I don't care about that red carpet Hollywood bulls--t. I want to see my clothes being worn with some humor. I know she would know how to properly accessorize... like with a stuffed chicken or a mouth guard or a cane.

I think Constantine is getting a bad rap. I saw it today and found it to be pretty decent. It's not Million Dollar Baby or Hotel Rwanda, but no one should be expecting much from a comic book movie. It may not match the X-Men or Spiderman movies, but it's sure as hell better than Electra, Van Helsing, The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, Daredevil, Catwoman, and whatever other superhero-crapfests I may have neglected to mention. It's certainly on par with, if not better than, Hellboy and The Hulk. At the least, it's something to tide your scifi nerd needs over until Batman Begins, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Serenity arrive. (Sidenote for the Serenity-obsessed: the Serenity trailer which was originally supposed to premier with Electra is now slated to appear with The Hitchhiker's Guide in early May. Despite the delay, I take this as a good sign.)

Relive classic scenes from Office Space with the Superfriends. (They are missing the crucial "pieces of flair" scene, however...)

Deion Sanders knows how to make a good hot dog



"Are you ready to enjoy the perfect hot dog every time in just minutes? There’s no other appliance out there like this one. With the Deion Sanders’ Hot Dog Express you can enjoy hot dogs the professional way."

Two excellent blogs you should check out: Blink-O-Rama and we make money not art

Looks like a setup to me, but it's still pretty funny: Dancing Air Force Cadet

From the “stories you may have missed” file:


Koko the gorilla has a nipple fetish. (credit to Nick)

Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian.
They were threatened that if they "did not indulge Koko's nipple fetish, their employment with the Gorilla Foundation would suffer," the lawsuit alleged.
The lawsuit claims that on one occasion Patterson said, "'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.'"

Tom Sizemore caught using prosthetic penis to pass drug test.

The actor is required to undergo random drug tests as a condition of probation for his convictions on separate charges of methamphetamine possession and beating his ex-girlfriend, former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. During Thursday's proceedings, prosecutors told Judge Baretto that Sizemore failed three drug tests in three days, the first after he was caught using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack.

The ACLU defends Hans Hoppe’s academic freedom. (credit to Todd)

Hoppe, 55, a world-renowned economist, author and speaker, said he was giving a lecture to his money and banking class in March when the incident occurred.

The subject of the lecture was economic planning for the future. Hoppe said he gave several examples to the class of about 30 upper-level undergraduate students on groups who tend to plan for the future and groups who do not...

...Another example he gave the class was that homosexuals tend to plan less for the future than heterosexuals.

Reasons for the phenomenon include the fact that homosexuals tend not to have children, he said. They also tend to live riskier lifestyles than heterosexuals, Hoppe said. He said there is a belief among some economists that one of the 20th century's most influential economists, John Maynard Keynes, was influenced in his beliefs by his homosexuality. Keynes espoused a "spend it now" philosophy to keep an economy strong, much as President Bush did after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Having met him and heard Hoppe lecture on several occassions, I think this is probably one of his least offensive views.



John Fund ignores property rights in his perpetual quest to appear homeless.

Julian Sanchez blogs over at HitAndRun: “Some bloggers seem to think this is a tale of big media arrogance toward mere bloggers. I suspect it's just Fund's absent minded professor schtick. Folks who've known him a while report that he didn't find anything unusual about coming into the (collective) office on weekends to do laundry in the restroom sink.”

After a second incident, Fund’s latest victim started the John Fund Blackberry Fund in an attempt to alleviate future problems. I personally think a copy of Miss Manners’ Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium might be a more fitting gift. Incidentally, I can confirm the laundry in the office sink rumor.

Todd Seavey sent this in last week, but I'm only now getting around to posting it. My tardiness should in no way influence your opinion of the following claim or otherwise diminish its importance: Todd may have located the worst movie of all time. I say this having watched such contenders as Battlefield Earth, Masters of the Universe (which, incidentally, is up for a John Woo remake), The Time Machine, Leonard: Part 6, and Nell. In his own words:

So I watch _Lawnmower Man 2_ on video (and it wasn't half bad, sort of a mid-90s pre-Matrix virtual reality adventure, though it's amazing how quickly that sort of thing becomes dated -- remember the days when every computer program was depicted as being an elaborate visual environment, as if programming always looks like playing a game from _Tron_?), but the really shocking thing was the trailer at the beginning of the tape, for a mid-90s comedy I'd never heard of before that caused me to feel more like I was experiencing a real-life version of some bad-movie parody from _The Critic_ than anything I've ever before witnessed, and it went vaguley like this:

VISUALS: Futuristic SWAT team surrounds criminals.
NARRATOR: She was the future's toughest cop...
WHOOPI GOLDBERG: You're under arrest!
NARRATOR: And he...
VISUAL: Big rubber dinosaur tail wiggling around.
NARRATOR: ...was something she never expected!
WHOOPI: He's my partner?!?
BIG CARTOONISH DINOSAUR SUIT WITH ARTICULATED MOUTH MOVEMENTS (AND HE'S WEARING A GARISH SUIT): Hey, baby, I got styyyyyyle!
VISUAL: Whoopi interrogating prisoner, as the dinosaur moves toward the
guy as if to bite his neck.
WHOOPI: You can't keep threatening to eat the prisoners!
MUSIC RISES IN BACKGROUND: "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was Not Was
DINOSAUR: Hey, I gotta be me!
NARRATOR: Meet the future's wackiest clone! Meet...
VISUAL: Dinosaur slaps stiff, upper-crusty woman at gala event on the ass with his tail.
NARRATOR: ...Theodore Rex!!

I watched the trailer three times because it couldn't be real and yet it was real but it couldn't be real.

Cover your ears: More Snow on the way



"Canadian rapper MC Snow is returning to the limelight after a criminal record plunged him into obscurity in the early 1990s.

"The Toronto singer shot to fame in 1993 with his massive hit Informer [No. 4 on VH1's 40 Most Awesomely Bad #1 Songs Ever], and has thrilled patient fans by working on a new record, which is due for release later this year.

"Snow credits his time in prison with helping him to hone his skills, joking that 'if you can sing in jail and not get killed, you know you're OK.'

"He says, 'I'm working on a new record right now, which I hope to get rolling later this year. People tell me I paved the way for Eminem.

"'He paved his own way, but he got it easy. I came just after Vanilla Ice, and people were saying, 'What the hell is this guy doing singing in patois?' I had to win people over the tough way. I'm still banned from Japan though.'"

You ought to be in pictures



Recently had your ability to function normally in society questioned? Put the matter to rest by commissioning a completely non-creepy portrait of yourself and your pet at dogtrots.com.

Soon there will only be Pruno...



So I come across this Yahoo news story, "Michigan to Cut Free Coffee for Inmates," and something told me I knew exactly who was behind it. Sure enough, our man in Lansing is flexing his legislative muscle. As he writes: "I had originally pushed to index the amount spent on inmate food to the amount spent on National Guardsmen's meals. I don't think that we want our prisoners eating better than our troops." Way to keep up the good fight, Mr. Lansing, or at least the entertaining one. We salute you.

A heartfelt congrats goes out to Tim on his engagement to Erin. (While I'm on the topic, a belated congrats to Sarah (& Erik), Guy & Bretigne, and Lindsay & Eddie.) Looks like it's gonna be a good year!

It's the Axis of Evil Typing Game! - almost as good as Typing of the Dead.

Happy Valentine's from ZeFrank

Defaced Art

Check out this Rocky montage spoof via BoingBoing. It's more Jackass than Viv La Bam. More Conan O'Brien that Tom Green. More Trigger Happy TV than Boiling Points. More Jamie Kennedy Experiment than Punk'd. More Buzzkill than Scare Tactics. If you wanted to, you know, fit it into the genre.

Peasant's Quest: The Movie



"A Trogventure for the Whole Trogfamily"

James R Ford undertakes a new project



"Wheelchair-bound physicist Stephen Hawking is known as the 'Master of the Universe' because of his theories about outer space.

"And soon, he'll be the subject of a painting which takes his fragile frame and transforms him into He-Man, the cartoon star of 'He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.'

"Artist James Ford will begin his portrait on Hawking's birthday -- January 8 -- and plans to model it on the animation style of the 1980s 'He-Man' cartoon.

"The painting will even be accompanied by a recording of He-Man's theme song recited by a computerized voice that sounds like Hawking's signature tone."

Ben Cohen is playing with our Oreos



Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry's ice cream wants you to tell your Congressman what you would like the federal government to do with all of your taxes, in cookie form. The game is rigged, though. For one thing, you can't stack more than 50 Oreos in the "Pentagon" column. More importantly, there is no column labeled "Give our $%#@ing Oreos back."

Frozen chicken launchers confirm Australia's bad boy reputation



"Australian police admitted Thursday they were mystified by a spate of apparent attacks on homes using frozen chickens as missiles.

"The case ruffled feathers of senior politicians in New South Wales state, leaving Premier Bob Carr pondering the mysteries of life.

"'One of the things that is interesting about our life here on this planet is that sometimes the unexpected happens and chickens smashing tiles, frozen chicken hurtling through the stratosphere, is one of the mysteries of existence,' he told reporters, tongue-in-cheek."

Bender: Fembots? Methinks a clever Manbot suitably disguised might win those events! But the charade would require subtlety, nuance, grace.





Zimbabwe female athlete 'was man'

One of Zimbabwe's leading junior athletes, who has won several gold medals in women's events, is really a man, police say.

Samukeliso Sithole, 17, has been charged with impersonation.

At her court appearance, she insisted that she was a woman, despite a doctor's report to the contrary.

Ms Sithole said she was born with both male and female sexual organs and a traditional healer had made the penis disappear but it had since regrown.

She told the court that the penis had returned because the healer had not been fully paid for his services.

She said that she had already arranged to pay the healer on 3 March, the day her trial is set to start, and so she expected her penis to disappear once more, according to the state-run Herald newspaper.

Band-to-Band

There go the remains of my productivity... 14 steps from Smashing Pumpkins to the Knack... awesome. In other useless web resources, check out this visual representation of name frequency over the last 100+ years.

Saltology
Saltology is simply Salty terminology!
In da negative; to shakke is to hate, to SALT shakke is to player hate, hence SALT shakkin' is player hatin'.
***NOTE****
(this spelling with double KK's is always & only used in da negative)
In da positive,
What's shakin? means what's up? What's happening? or Where's the party at?
To shake (spelled with only one K) is to show mastery in any skill at all times especially during competition, as in shakin' & groovin'.
U Feel me? I know U do!
So Shake it up!

via Cruel.com

Gives a whole new meaning to "sleeping with the fishes."



Sushi Pillows

Clear as Purple Crayon



This trailer spoof for Star Wars Episode 3 is probably much more entertaining than the actual movie.

Baby got book

When the melting pot asplodes...



Meet Matisyahu Miller, Hasidic Reggae Superstar