Happy Halloween



"Seriously, what beats Halloween? As a snack enthusiast, NOTHING, that's what! Just for knocking on their mortgaged doors, middle class suckers are obligated by law to give you tasty treats. USA, baby! Don't even TRY to beat us!"

Still in need of a costume for Halloween? Why not go with the "safety smock?"



When an inmate of a correctional facility is acutely suicidal, officers must remove every item that can be used for self-harm. Our smocks and bedding safely allow the inmate warmth and modesty.

Anoop Dogg - Drop it Like a FOB

I found this take on the Shaft themesong hilarious....

Wha be tha blake prevy lawe
That bene wantoun too alle tha feres?
SHAFT!
Ya damne righte!

Wha be tha carl tha riske is hals wolt
Fro is allye leve?
SHAFT!
Konne ye?

Wha be tha carl wha ne wolden flee
Whan peril bene all aboughte?
SHAFT!
Verray!

Alle clepe tha carl ane badde mooder-
SOFTE!
Speken of Shaft bene I.
THAN KONNE ALLES WE!

He be a man konne unnethes
Namo save is mayde konnes im.
JOHN SHAFT!

It gave me flashbacks to my junior year in high school when I had to memorize the opening lines of the Canterbury Tales. "Whan that April..." *shudder*

Link stolen from Victor's comments.

Despair Inc.'s new 2006 Demotivator designs unveiled



More are scheduled for release in November.

The best stuff is always hidden in the footnotes...

If you only skimmed the headlines of the latest news about Howard Stern leaving Infinity, you might have missed the best part of the story. After wading through the blather about Stern and laudatory bits about his main replacements, David Lee Roth and Adam Corolla (bleck and ugh, respectively), there's a final mention that Penn Jillette of "Penn kicks ass!" fame will also be hosting a new one hour program. Yahoo news is currently the only source that does more than mention this in passing.

I think we all know this was the only logical outcome of sending idiotic reporters out into hurricanes: Al Roker falls on his ass.


Update: Link fixed.

Think this site is a waste of time? Well, at least you're not spending your time creating a scale model of San Francisco in jello.

Someone put a lot of effort into this Power Rangers spoof. (in Japanese, subtitled) I only post it because it might be the first bit of Japanese humor that has made any sense whatsoever.

Lawyer, Lawyer

Still wondering what to dress the baby as for Halloween (assuming of course that you don't leave him/her in the cage)? Try crocheting some Yoda ears.



Genius.

I found my next vacation destination: Bon Bon Land



Be sure to click through the entire photo set and read the captions - the ant joke had me laughing out loud.

I usually don't plug bands, but I'm feeling a little obligated now that I've gotten three Epoxies cds for free. Todd was kind enough to give me the first two and now I have the local Virgin megastore to thank for the third. After waiting 20 minutes for them to hunt down a copy of Stop the Future, I had nearly given up when they offered to just give me the promo cd. What can I say people, I live a charmed life.

Must see webTV: Anne stars as Susan O'Schaffer over at the Etc site in their spoof election coverage of the NYC mayoral race.

Holy crap.

BabyCage.net - Infant Confinement Specialists Since 2001



On the go? Traveling on a plane? This travelling carrier is for you. Made of plastic to safely carry your beloved cargo. Suitable for infants 0 to 2 years old.

Feeling too optimistic?


Start your day off right with a steaming cup of "where the fuck did my civil liberties go?" with this disappearing bill of rights mug.

Who needs a New James Bond when you have these guys?

Separatists in southern Thailand—a region that up until Thailand's annexation in 1902 was semi-autonomous, Malay, and Muslim—have increased violence against the Thai Buddhist majority in recent years, targeting more and more Buddhist monks and teachers. A recent terror tactic, writes the Observer Research Foundation, is "for two terrorists to travel in a two-wheeler and for the one in the rear to take out a weapon and kill the target. This helps in rapid get-away after the killing without being captured by the bystanders or the police." As a result, new products are being developed to protect Buddhist monks, from bulletproof vests in the traditional safron hue to motorcycle sidecars—dubbed "monkmobiles"— encased in protective glass and outfitted with a small window for receiving alms.

Many of the products are devised by "Thailand's Q" (a reference to James Bond's gadget guy), Major Songphon Eiamboonyarith, a defense contractor who has also invented bulletproof tuk-tuks (motorcycle taxis), "umbrellas that shoot rubber bullets, bullet-proof baseball caps and a hand-held device to fire a man-sized net 30 feet (10 m) to stop a villain in his tracks."

Insect filth and mammalian excreta - mmm!



After eating pupae, Steve points out a helpful government guide to acceptable levels of filth in food fit for human consumption.

OK Go's A Million Ways

UNICEF bombs the Smurfs



Belgian television viewers were given a preview of the 25-second film earlier this week, when it was shown on the main evening news. The reactions ranged from approval to shock and, in the case of small children who saw the episode by accident, wailing terror.
...
The short film pulls no punches. It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand-in-hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom-shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.
...
The advertising agency behind the campaign, Publicis, decided the best way to convey the impact of war on children was to tap into the earliest, happiest memories of Belgian television viewers. They chose the Smurfs, who first appeared in a Belgian comic in 1958.

I bet this is what all those Christian mimes are doing in their off time: finger breakdancing.

The first nine or ten minutes of Serenity are online.

Update: For Colorado residents, there's even a money back guarantee if you don't like the movie.

Another fun ad: Guiness Evolution (credit to Todd)

Funny, these aren’t the Flintstones vitamins I remember.

As Howard Dean would say: YEEEAAARGHHH!!!!!!!

Finally some proof of dolphin intelligence I can buy into: Dolphins at Disney's Epcot Center Taught to Sing Batman Theme Song

Update: The squirtgun gets more and more disturbing every time I look at it. Everything about it is just so WRONG....

The Leslie Hall Gem Sweater Collection

I initially thought this might be the unfortunate victim of some cruel and obsessive photoshopping, but then I noticed the hair and the dead-fish gaze is just a little different in every shot. She's the real deal, sequins and all.

Who says starvation can't be a good time?


Mothers use his name to scare their children while even adults hope they don't bump into him in the dark -- for more than 40 years Gopal Haldar has been making his living in India's Sunderbans mangrove region as a ghost.

Measuring a mere 1.21 meters (four feet) and weighing a slight 24 kilograms (52 pound), Haldar -- now near to retirement age -- says he has been malnourished all his life.

"I have hardly had the money to buy good food or visit a doctor. I have been suffering from malnutrition since my childhood.

Because of his poor health and stick-like physique, he added, neighbours had said he was "born to play a ghost".

I love the internets.... Harriet Miers already has a blog.

Men of the internet



"A web project which consists of a compilation of found images of the cornerstone of any good teen movie: computer nerds. 'Men of the internet' presents the idea of the computer nerd as a species of human that have had their bodies literally transformed and modified as a result of prolonged computer use. A collection of real life altered physiognomy and biological/technological modification: bigger brains, protruding craniums and enhanced eyesight with enormous glasses."

Just keep clicking for more...

Some guy on the web pays homage to Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend"

The Prince of Eternia pays homage to 4 Non Blondes.

Another ps260 spoof trailer, this time it's for West Side Story.