My name is C-3P0. I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication and I do a fantastic Al Jolson impersonation.

Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes

Victor has some plog competition. It sure is... inspiring.

The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Show

Jello Shots are so 1995...

Try Guiness-sicles.

I is a lawyer! Woot!

Autoblogger

Sick of trying to keep fickle readers happy every single day? Pjammer suggests that you make the switch.

Commission a portrait of yourself next to Stevie Nicks



Thanks to Drew for bringing this everyone's attention:

"My portrait commissions can start as low as $252 for a single person, size 8” x 12” with a simple background in full colour. Please know that I can also offer a convenient installment plan for your purchase, whereby you pay a portion every month according to your budget. You receive the finished portrait upon making your final installment. So, a portrait need not be unattainable at all!"

Update on Hurricane relief

In July 2003, Economic Inquiry published an article by Thomas Garrett and Russell Sobel stating:

"We find that presidential and congressional influences affect the rate of disaster declaration and the allocation of FEMA disaster expenditures across states. States politically important to the president have a higher rate of disaster declaration by the president, and disaster expenditures are higher in states having congressional representation on FEMA oversight committees. Election year impacts are also found. Our models predict that nearly half of all disaster relief is motivated politically rather than by need. The findings reject a purely altruistic model of FEMA assistance and question the relative effectiveness of government versus private disaster relief."

Last August questions regarding the real purpose of Hurricane disaster aid were raised on PoF and later here. Now, USA Today reports that FEMA is coming under fire for its questional approach to assistance:

"The federal government gave $31 million in disaster relief for Hurricane Frances to 12,000 Florida residents who were not directly hit by the hurricane last fall and may not have deserved any money, government auditors say in a report to be released Wednesday.

"The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) didn't adequately inspect homes and used a system of aid payments "susceptible to potential fraud, waste and abuse," says the report by the Department of Homeland Security inspector general.

"The findings are the latest to point at questionable disaster relief payments made by FEMA. Audits dating back at least a decade have shown similar problems elsewhere.

"The latest report said that FEMA paid $15,742 for three funerals without any proof that the deaths were disaster-related. The agency also paid $2.7 million to repair 2,180 homes even though inspectors didn't have proper documentation, and residents were reimbursed $192,592 for chainsaws, generators and other unverified expenses, the report said."

The 50 worst hairstyles of all time



"From the old standbys of ugliness like, The Mullet and Comb-Over to new additions to the bad hair lexicon like, The Career Terminator and The Gangsta Pimp- they are all here. We hope you enjoy our list of the 50 Worst Hairstyles of All-Time."

I'm finished my last law school exam at noon today. I leave New York tomorrow. It's been swell.

I may be somewhat obsessed, but I draw the line at paying over $40 for scalped tickets to an unfinished movie.

Happy Mother's Day!

110,000 Volt Taser Cannon - when we have to battle our robot overlords in the coming apocalypse... I want one.

Olive Garden puts math-challenged Canadians to the test



If you live in Canada (but not in Quebec) and dream of traveling to Italy to eat America's version of Italian food, then you'd better start brushing up on your arithmetic:

"JUDGING: Winners will be selected in a random drawing during the week of 06/06/05 from among all complete and eligible entries received. Drawing will be conducted by Marden-Kane, Inc. an independent judging organization whose decisions are final and binding. Odds of winning depend on the total number of eligible entries received. Only one prize per person, family or household. All prizes will be awarded. Canadian winners will be required to correctly answer a time-limited, mathematical skill-testing question administered by mail." (emphasis added)

I threw up



Get your stickers now and start having fun:

"Q: WHAT IS IMPLIED REGURGITATION?

"A: An experimental sticker campaign which strives to manipulate
meaning by altering the multitudes of messages that surround us.
It is an exploration of not only the process of implication, but the
creative reclamation of advertising & public spaces. The stickers
are designed to work like cartoon speech bubbles, and are usually
placed strategically as to indicate speech. Target images are usually
people, animals, or any sort of personified object or character."

Speculation begins regarding what to expect from the J.Lo administration's first 100 days



"After conquering Hollywood and the pop charts, Latina superstar Jennifer Lopez says she is ready to wrestle George W. Bush out of the White House.

"'I'm a total powerhouse. If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president -- that would be really cool,' J.Lo told German celebrity glossy Bravo in an issue to be published Wednesday.

"'The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House -- it doesn't look very cozy.'"

Congratulations go out to Anne and the Etc. troupe for getting their show, "The Magificent Hour," and to Mike and Stephen for getting "Beautiful" into the NYC Fringe Festival. I may have to plan a trip back here in August....

Make Mine Shoebox

More great stuff from Chris Harding.