Takashi Hashiyama, president of Maspro Denkoh Corporation, an electronics company based outside of Nagoya, Japan, could not decide whether Christie's or Sotheby's should sell the company's art collection, which is worth more than $20 million, at next week's auctions in New York.
...Instead, he resorted to an ancient method of decision-making that has been time-tested on playgrounds around the world: rock breaks scissors, scissors cuts paper, paper smothers rock.
...Kanae Ishibashi, the president of Christie's in Japan, declined to discuss her preparations for the meeting. But her colleagues in New York said she spent the weekend researching the psychology of the game online and talking to friends, including Nicholas Maclean, the international director of Christie's Impressionist and modern art department.

Mr. Maclean's 11-year-old twins, Flora and Alice, turned out to be the experts Ms. Ishibashi was looking for. They play the game at school, Alice said, "practically every day."

"Everybody knows you always start with scissors," she added. "Rock is way too obvious, and scissors beats paper." Flora piped in. "Since they were beginners, scissors was definitely the safest," she said, adding that if the other side were also to choose scissors and another round was required, the correct play would be to stick to scissors - because, as Alice explained, "Everybody expects you to choose rock."

I strongly approve. Of course, nothing beats Rock, Paper, Saddam!

Perhaps not quite as anticipated as the release of the Firefly trailer, but nonetheless an important event that should be marked on all your calendars... yes, folks, it's that time again.... it's Dale Earnhardt Day!

Over 100 songs from the Simpsons (MP3).

Sajak says what?



Get your daily dose of rant from the Wheel of Fortune host at Sajak Says.

Cancelled Flight: 101 Tried and True Pigeon Killin' Methods

Conjured from Jones’ twisted brain, 101 surefire methods for speeding a pigeon’s journey to the grave are laid out for even the novice pigeon-despiser with lists of required materials and step-by-step guidelines. Every method has been brilliantly illustrated with the help of more than eighty-five of today’s hottest street-inspired painters, illustrators, designers, and photographers. Whether visualized in the pre- or post-death stages or at termination, each piece faithfully represents Jones’ methodology with incredible energy and originality—in “The Butcher,” a Dalek Space Monkey picks up a cleaver to “chop, chop, chop till he can’t chop no more,” and Cody Hudson’s “The Permanent Press” illustrates how two scorching hot irons can make a toasty pigeon sandwich in no time flat. An exhaustive compilation of execution, Canceled Flight is sure to provide the pigeon-killing technique perfect for you.

Yeah, I hate pigeons...

You know you have an unhealthy obsession when:

A) You note the upcoming Firefly trailer release on Whedonesque, the Serenity site, and receive an email about it on the same day.

B) You count down the release four days in advance and occassionally check the Apple trailers site to see if they're ahead of schedule.

C) On the day of it's impending release you check all of the above only to note the 1pm start time.

D) At 1:17 pm when the trailer still isn't posted, you feel betrayed.

E) At 1:18 pm, you realize that the 1pm release was for Pacific Standard Time and not Eastern and feel chagrined.

F) You're seriously contemplating skipping your 4 o'clock class even though it's the last one of the year and is a combination course/exam review.

G) All of the above.

Update: I am so giddy.
Update 2: The official movie site has also gotten some minor upgrades.

Grand Junction, CO, drops in livability rankings



Mark Mathis, weatherman extraordinaire, Vance Poole look-a-like, and star of "Where the Heart Is" and the underrated "Girls in Uniform," has moved on from North Carolina to sunny Colorado following the loss of his job due to alcohol and cocaine abuse.

"'They said I could do the weather like I do it in Charlotte,' says Mathis, 38, who once dressed as a snowflake to do his forecast.

"'I wanted to get back in the game. I've been sober for five months now and I'm looking to get my career started back.'"

When meat and paint collide: the art of Victoria Reynolds.

The Decadent West vs. Five Year Olds

"I support your vagina"



"The off-Broadway hit 'The Vagina Monologues' has gotten two high school students into trouble.

"The students were admonished for wearing buttons inspired by the show that say 'I (heart) My Vagina.'

"The American Civil Liberties Union of Minnesota has offered to help students fight any consequences from their actions.

"The trouble started last month after student Carrie Rethlefsen saw Eve Ensler's play about female sexuality and sexual violence against women. Rethlefsen and fellow student Emily Nixon soon began wearing the buttons.

"As a show of support, more than 100 students have ordered T-shirts bearing 'I (heart) My Vagina' for girls and 'I Support Your Vagina' for boys."

It's some good



From WASAW:

"IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A 'POTATO CHIP SANDWICH?'

"Of course there is. Potato chip sandwiches are considered White Trash cuisine. You take two pieces of white bread, slather each with mayo, pile chips on one of the slices, then top it with the other slice and smash it down until the chips are totally crushed. Uh… not that I make that or anything."

Cartels and BB guns



From Division of Labour:

"In preparing my MBA class tonight on Oligopoly and Game Theory, I was reminded of a clip at the beginning of The Royal Tenenbaums that demonstrates how easily collusion falls apart:

son Chas and dad Royal are waiting in ambush with BB guns for two other kids:

Royal--Hold it Chassie, hold it right there (pointing gun at Chas instead).
Chas--What are you doing? You're on my team!
Royal--Haha, There ARE no teams! (shoots at Chas)
Narrator--The BB was still lodged between two knuckles in Chas' left hand."

Who Aspiring Drunks Want to Be

Meet Henry Earl. Henry has been arrested over 900 times for alcohol-related offenses. There are several Henry Earl fansites, but this one goes a step further and offers real time updates on Henry's incarceration status via RSS feed and even a Firefox extention.

Henry's exactly the right balance between extremely pitiful and incredibly amusing. You feel bad for him on one hand, but then the guy looks so strangely happy in (most of) his mugshots. And if you read the stories about him, you'll see that he's got an awful lot of personality. Certainly more than your basic town drunk. Henry is an icon, a work of performance art. He's like an Otis Campbell for the 21st century. He's our schadenfreudic touchstone of intoxication.

In case you haven't gotten enough of Henry, there are Henry oil paintings, mugshot galleries, a calendar, a webstore, and even a band named for him (which is pretty flair-worthy in itself).

But does it come with a drowning Leo?



How better than to commemorate human tragedy than with a giant, inflatable slide? I'm thinking China-Inflatable really needs to develop a whole line of these. Why stop with just the one?

I think I found where the old MTV is hiding: Gran Faro.

Stephen Hawking He-Man painting complete



The wait is over - see it, hear it, believe it.

Celebrities in Japanese Commercials Ironically, Bill Murray is not on the list.

Update: You must check out: the Mike Tyson clip, the Brad Pitt "stair surfing" and "street dancing" clips and the Sylvester Stallone "I'm a sophisticated ham-eater" clips. Be sure to comment on any other good finds.

Dirty Minute Meals



I've always found her annoying and potentially seizure-inducing, but perhaps I haven't been paying close enough attention:

"[I]n the time it takes you to read this website, I will have given you a delicious and revelatory look into America's Sweetheart Rachael Ray's smoldering, white-hot sexuality.

"'What?!' you ask, 'You can't mean the almost unbearably perky, squeaky clean, children's-book-writing Rachael Ray on the Food Network?'

"Yes, her. And I'll prove it."

Doll factory attracts Soderbergh to sleepy Ohio town



"On the front door of Lee Middleton Dolls, the primary location for the film, a sign informs visitors when tours are canceled 'due to the filming of a movie.'

"For the most part, only the locals in the spotlight — the movie was cast exclusively in the area — are in the loop.

"Filming at the factory was scheduled to wrap up last week but continue elsewhere in the area for two more weeks. The movie is expected to be released in the fall.

"Soderbergh — who won an Academy Award for Traffic and also directed Erin Brockovich and sex, lies,and videotape — said he chose Belpre from among three possible locations for a simple reason: 'The doll factory.'"

Lemon... lemonade.

/too tired to think of anything better.

There ought to be a law mandating golf helmets



"The increasing popularity of children's golf has teed off an upswing in golf-related head injuries among youngsters, a new study finds.

"Researchers at the Medical College of Georgia reviewed the cases of more than 2,500 patients under age 19 seen by neurosurgeons between 1996 and 2002. They identified 64 sports-related injuries, including 15 golf-related injuries. Of those injuries, seven were caused by golf cart accidents, seven by golf clubs and one by being struck with a golf ball."

Belated Correction:

Scott (who is far more attuned to New York journalism than I'll ever be) kindly pointed out an error in last month's post about the NY Press guy who turned out to be a satanist:

"Alan Cabal was not the editor of NYPress who resigned; Jeff Koyen was. After the Pope piece ran, Cabal wrote a nasty letter to Koyen in which he resigned his position as a staff writer in protest of such a poor piece running in the paper -- a symbolic exercise more than anything, since Cabal had written, like, one piece for them in the past two years. Koyen wrote an especially juvenile reply to Cabal's resignation, and the Press saw fit to print both in their letter column, which is a sadly accurate reflection of the tragic disrepair into which the paper has fallen."

This is why I try to avoid using facts when I blog.

Someone had the brilliant idea of scraping craigslist for rent ads, sorting them by rent, and google-mapping them. This just made my apartment search much easier. via BoingBoing

Friedman on prohibition



via Division of Labour.

This Completes the Trilogy...


David Horowitz Hit With Pie

The irony is particularly tasty. For the curious, Richard Roeper has a list of famous food attacks. (Scroll down)

We are idiots.

LNSEMSF - Leonard Nimoy Should Eat More Salsa Foundation
We here at the LNSEMSF believe that Leonard Nimoy is excellent, and salsa is excellent, and if Leonard Nimoy would eat more salsa, he would become an unstoppable force of excellence.

Could you be a Jehovah's Witness?

Apparently, I'm a double-BeeGee born under the influence of Staying Alive. Welcome to Popstrology. Sadly, this is probably far more informative than a lot of belief systems floating around out there.

Can anyone tell me why Serenity still doesn't have a decent website? Honestly, that glorified message board is the perhaps the lamest website for a movie ever. EVER.

I don't know who, I don't know why, and I don't know how anyone managed to keep a straight face. Vive les 70s.

Apparently, the in April Fool's thing is blog-parody this year. Just take a look at: BoringBoring, Go Hug Yourself, Overheard in Space, and The Glory Hole of Carniola (aka Slovenes Gone Wild). I would do something similar, but that would require, you know, effort.

Ranch dressing: The condiment of the new millenium



"Commentator and former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan cut short an appearance after an opponent of his conservative views doused him with salad dressing.

"'Stop the bigotry!' the demonstrator shouted as he hurled the liquid Thursday night during the program at Western Michigan University. The incident came just two days after another noted conservative, William Kristol, was struck by a pie during an appearance at Earlham College in Indiana.

"After he was hit, Buchanan cut short his question-and-answer session with the audience, saying, 'Thank you all for coming, but I’m going to have to get my hair washed.'"