Beautiful Flint to host awesome film fest - Michael Moore not invited



"Missed the Sundance Film Festival in January? Couldn't get a hotel room in Cannes? Consider Flint.

"The blue-collar city of 125,000, perhaps best associated with the cinematic arts as the backdrop for native son Michael Moore's 1989 documentary 'Roger & Me,' is preparing for its inaugural Flint Film Festival.

"It begins Friday with a Hollywood-style opening gala and concludes Sunday with an awards party. In between, festival-goers will have their choice of 29 original films — features, shorts, documentaries, music videos and student productions — by independent filmmakers from as far away as Germany. (emphasis added)

"'Where do you think they find all those Academy Award-winning shorts and documentaries you never heard of? Film festivals. I guarantee the quality of films are as good or better than any blockbuster you're gonna see all summer.' (emphasis added)

"Moore, who is a native of Flint but now lives in New York, was not invited to be involved in the festival in any way, and his latest film, the anti-Bush documentary 'Fahrenheit 911,' will not be shown, Fiedler said.

"'The committee told me in one of our very first meetings that they wanted this to be about local filmmakers and not about one famous one who has a way of bringing all the attention on himself,' Fiedler said.

"'He saw the press releases and he could've offered to submit something, and he didn't,' Fiedler added."

Highlights of the film fest include:

Sunday Morning
Produced and directed by Steve Schoenbach, Grand Blanc High School, grade 12
Run Time: 4 minutes Original format: High 8 video
Description: “A regular Sunday morning for me. Wake up. Eat crereal. Computer. Xbox. Read book. Fin.” (set to music from Green Day and Minnie Riperton)

and

Wild Kingdom
Producer: Martie Fellom Director: Alan Marsh School: S Eastern Louisiana University
Run time: 27 minutes Original format: DV
Description: A Junior High School student uses his knowledge of animal camouflage techniques to avoid being called on in the classroom. However, he meets defeat at every turn, either from erstwhile friends or his supernatural sister in this surreal comedy.

Todd sent this one around a while back. I am just now getting around to posting it.

Robot Protest

This is a real letter... and the visa was approved.


International Order of
Water Buffalos
Seattle Chapter

Consul General
Embassy of the United Republic of Tanzania
2139 R Street NW
Washington, DC 20008


Dear Reviewer:

Mr. Nicholas [S.] will be developing scholarship programs with the Tanzanian, Rwandan, and Ugandan chapters of the Royal Order of Water Buffalos.

In June, he will spend one week in Dar Es Salaam and will be staying at the Oingo Boingo Hotel.

In July, he will be spending up to a week in Zanzibar and be staying at Aladdin’s Palace.

In August, he will spend up to a week in Arusha and stay with William Smith at his house on M. Ali Lane.

Thank you for your assistance in this endeavor.


Signed Most Enthusiastically,


Fred Flintstone
Grand Pooba, Seattle Chapter
International Royal Order of Water Buffalos

Buffy on the brain



Just because the show's over doesn't mean it ever has to end for you, Meredith...

"It's tough for scholars to be taken seriously when their subject is a TV show about a California blonde fighting evil in a high school built on a gateway to hell. Particularly when the title is as campy as 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer.'

"But enough professors and writers study the comedic drama and its spinoff, 'Angel,' to hold a deadly serious academic conference here this weekend attracting more than 325 people.

"Buffyologists from as far away as Singapore were presenting 190 papers on topics ranging from 'slayer slang' to 'postmodern reflections on the culture of consumption' to 'Buffy and the new American Buddhism.'

"There was even a self-conscious talk by David Lavery, an English professor at Middle Tennessee State University, on Buffy studies 'as an academic cult.'

"Lavery and Rhonda Wilcox, a professor at Gordon College in Georgia, co-hosted the conference and are known as the 'father and mother' of Buffy studies. They acknowledged they've endured a lot of ridicule from colleagues, but said that's part of the topic's allure.

"'It keeps the uncool people away. If you can't get past the title you have no business watching,' said Lavery, who co-wrote a book on Buffy with Wilcox.

"Jana Riess, a religious book editor for Publishers Weekly, said she's gotten tremendous response to her book 'What Would Buffy Do? A Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide.' On Friday, the conference bookstore sold out its copies and she had to bring extras in from her car.

"Riess was thrilled with the opportunity to connect with fellow Buffyologists:

"'We are the few, the proud, the lonely.'"

This is awesome: Rodeohead

Well, I made it to Friday at least...

I stumbled across this while looking for a Milton Friedman text. No explanation.

Singapore prepares for freedom to chew



Let the craziness begin:

"Ultra-tidy Singapore is lifting its notorious ban on chewing gum after 12 long years — but getting a pack won't be entirely hassle-free.

"Before Singaporeans even think about unwrapping a pack, however, they must submit their names and ID card numbers. If they don't, pharmacists who sell them gum could be jailed up to two years and fined $2,940.

"'It's ridiculous that it's easier for 16-year-olds to visit prostitutes than it is to get chewing gum here,' said Fayen Wong, a 22-year old college student. Prostitution is legal in parts of Singapore — and no registration is required.

"This Southeast Asian city-state, known for its immaculate streets, outlawed the manufacture, import and sale of chewing gum in 1992 after the country's founding father, Lee Kuan Yew, complained that it was fouling streets, buildings, buses and subway trains.

"The Straits Times newspaper, which has close government ties, reported Sunday that street cleaners have already complained about the return of spent wads of chewing gum to their once pristine pavement."

Arkansas mothers outbreeding Northern counterparts in preparation for South to rise again



As if to confirm previous speculation about who's winning the progeny war, the state of Arkansas is handing out "Young Mother of the Year" awards to those who produce 15 or more offspring. A few conditions apply, though: all applicant fathers must have two first names and all children must share the same first letter in their names. Special consideration is given to those who force their kids to dress alike and be homeschooled in preparation for attending Hillsdale College.

"Michelle Duggar is all smiles after delivering her 15th child, but she may be ready for more, her family says.

"The baby’s father, former state legislator Jim Bob Duggar, sounded a bit tired but happy after returning home Monday. He said his wife and new son were doing fine. He said he leaves the decision up to Michelle on whether to have more children.

"Michelle, who home schools her children and is helping to build the family’s new home in Tontitown from the ground up, started having her babies when she was 21, four years after she and Jim Bob married. Her 38-year-old husband is a real estate businessman.

"Their children include two sets of twins, and the parents have stuck to the letter 'J' for their names. There is Joshua, 16; Jana and John-David, 14; Jill, 13; Jessa, 11; Jinger, 10; Joseph, 9; Josiah, 7; Joy-Anna, 6; Jeremiah and Jedidiah, 5; Jason, 4; James, 2; and Justin, 1."

Things you may have always suspected about truckers but didn't necessarily want confirmed



"Along with the usual highway litter, bottles of urine are routinely discarded at the truckers' brake test area at Parleys Summit on Interstate 80.

"'That's not the worst of it,' said Darrell Roberts, a Utah Department of Transportation maintenance supervisor in Parleys Canyon. 'You find zip-type bags with feces in them.'

"UDOT crews don special clothing and gloves and use tongs to remove the containers of human waste.

"The two-lane brake test area is mostly for 18-wheelers, though other vehicles occasionally pull in. There are no facilities or services at the site.

"Greer figures truck drivers are responsible for 90 percent of the trash, particularly the waste-filled containers. He said he has seen the same thing in other states.

"Drivers commonly relieve themselves in plastic bottles and jugs while sitting in the cab, then throw the containers out the window, he said.

"'We certainly don't condone this at all,' said David Creer, executive director of the Utah Trucking Association. 'It's absolutely wrong. But there is another side to the story. These guys get a little bit desperate at times.'"

Apparently, Utah is not alone:

I may not be able to post for the next week. I only have internet access at work right now and my home connection won't be up for a while. So until I turn into a total slacker, I'm off blog.

Humans be warned: Hasselhoff to rap



David Hasselhoff, who you're probably familiar with through his work on the movie Avalanche: Cold as Ice, is venturing into hip-hop with a little help from neighbor Ice-T:

"Gangsta pioneer Ice-T aims to turn David Hasselhoff into a rap star — by producing the ex-Baywatch actor’s first hip hop album.

"Ice who paved the way for 50 Cent and EMINEM, told me: 'The man is a legend. We are going to show a whole new side of him.'

"The unlikely lads are near neighbours in Los Angeles and have struck up a close friendship.

"Ice is convinced medallion-man Hasselhoff can take on the biggest names in rap. He said from a New York hotel: 'He’s gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff.

"'The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour.'"

"More Cowbell" has never been more fitting.

Happy birthday Nicole!

"The Lockjaw Diet" looks to outdo Atkins and South Beach with its promise of a "sexy, teenage lifestyle"



Retainers aren't just for adolescents anymore...

"Americans are always in a rush, even when it comes to eating. Many times, there isn't time to feel full until people realize they've overdone it.

"Now there's a way to slow down. Atlanta-based Scientific Intake has developed an oral device called DDS System, which limits food intake by slowing eating and retraining people to take smaller bites.

"Those interested need to go to their dentist to have a mold taken of their mouth. It's sent to Scientific Intake, and the company turns the impression into the retainerlike gizmo.

"Do they work? Company CEO William Longley claims he knocked off 14 pounds over five months.

"Some nutritionists note a baby spoon would accomplish the same thing, forcing the dieter to eat a little slower."

Now that we have Nature's Platform, we're happy to sit

In a move that is bringing even more public attention to our bathroom habits, a German inventor has developed a device with a shrill female voice that warns men not to try anything funny while standing up, urine shield or no:

"German women fed up with a man with a poor aim can turn to the ghost-shaped gadget, which lurks under the toilet rim and, if the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone:

"'Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess...'"

Ok, since it's my last chance to post about Angel....

The final episode aired last night and though it was a good episode, it wasn't much of a finale. Going into it, I was willing to accept certain trade-offs. I was perfectly willing to watch them kill off all of my favorite characters in some sort of mastermind plot that would wrap up five seasons' worth of plot threads. Instead, they killed off my favorite characters and managed to wrap up the threads they planted in the show from last week. This was a little unsatisfying to say the least. I also have a number of other gripes: The Shanshu prophecy story arc that has been a recurring theme for five years was completely unresolved. (And, no, I don't buy that Angel just signs the thing away in thirty seconds, erasing 5 years of story line - what a lame cop out.) Connor just pops in for a visit and Angel never gets around to murdering him - per yet another prophecy. We don't learn anything more about either Wolfram & Hart or the Powers that Be. Nearly all the bad guys were bit characters from earlier episodes that weren't the least bit scary. (Adam Baldwin's character being the one cool exception - that fight scene was pretty good.) And, in case you failed to notice, the Illyria plotline was utterly pointless. Don't get me wrong, Illyria was a thousand times better that the cave-dwelling cow better known as "Fred," and I now like Amy Acker a helluva lot better, but the Illyria character failed to serve any useful purpose. The 4 or 5 episodes devoted to her should've gone towards solidifying the plotline for the final two episodes. Instead, the legion of doom appears out of nowhere as a deus ex machina plot device for the writers to try and make some sense out of the chaos of this season. Lame, lame, lame. And, finally, they kill both Lindsay and Wesley, the two best characters on the show - and although the death scenes were both well done, given the aforementioned story problems, I just feel cheated. On the bright side, this pretty much absolves any desire I might have had to see season 6.

Some part of my brain that won't shut up keeps analogizing this to the way my favorite hockey team played this last season. All of the individual players were excellent, but they never managed to play together as a team. As a result, they had their ass handed to them in the second round of playoffs by San Jose (?!?!!). Team Whedon may have some shining moments of brilliance, but none of it came together this season. As much as I prefer stand alone episodes to the pulpy season-long story arcs, I also like plot coherence. There is a balance between bite size new-viewer-friendly episodes and lengthy soap opera "only devoted fans will get this" episodes, and they failed to find it. We ended up with the worst of all possible worlds - largely unrelated episodes liberally peppered with in jokes that only the devoted Angel junkies would get anyway. Realistically, there was no way to fix all of this in one last episode. The rational part of my brain accepts this. The rest of me wants to see the coach tarred, feathered, and perhaps the subject of a Toby Keith ballad involving boots.

I arrived in Colorado today. I took the first JetBlue flight from JFK to Denver that they just added to their schedule (there's now an 8am flight in addition to their late night one). This would not normally be blog-worthy, except for one thing: apparently, there's some sort of airport tradition of welcoming in new flights by having two firetrucks spray arcs of water onto the plane from either side as it taxis into the gate. It was pretty darn cool. Maybe even wicked awesome. And, if I haven't mentioned it before - JetBlue is the greatest airline EVER.

Cicada madness spreads



First there was a CD, now there's a cookbook. Nothing good can come from this, but at least we were all warned.

"A man who cooked and ate nearly 30 cicadas sought medical treatment after suffering a strong allergic reaction to the sauteed insects.

"The man showed up at a Bloomington clinic Thursday covered from head-to-toe in hives, and sheepishly told a doctor he'd caught and ate the cicadas after sauteing them in butter with crushed garlic and basil.

"'He said they didn't taste too bad, but his wife didn't care for the aroma,' said Dr. Al Ripani, the doctor who treated the man at Promptcare East.

"The man, who has a history of asthma and shellfish allergies, suffered a 'significant allergic reaction,' after eating the cicadas, Ripani said."

A Popsicle on a Stick

Compiled by Gabriel Heck from the "junior high archives," here are several selections from A Popsicle on a Stick: The Early Poetry of Matthew Hisrich...

E.S.P.
Who says a rabbit has ears
I think they have E.S.P.

The Calico Cat
If the calico cat
Has feelings for me
Then how am I to resist
Abstinence
With my cactus

Ink Spot
I ran my fingers through your hair
And discovered an ink spot
Probably from the tattoo you always wanted

For "The Exorcist in 30 seconds" fans, here's The Shining in 30 seconds.

Nature's Platform

Relax kids, it's not the real Meriwether Lewis



Rather than "Lewis and Clark Enjoy Surge in Popularity," this story would be more appropriately titled either: "Bored AP writer tries to 'sex-up' a story with outrageous claims," or "Man claims 're-enacting' is his job."

"Like aging rock stars on a comeback tour, explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark are enjoying a huge surge in popularity.

"They could never imagine that their journey — one of the nation's greatest adventure stories — would spawn re-enactors and produce commemorative stamps and coins, an expedition-inspired beer, historical cookbooks, theme parties, even Lewis and Clark air fresheners.

"'I think it's perhaps the most important story in our history,' said Scott Mandrell, 38, who portrays Meriwether Lewis nationwide. The Alton, Ill., resident traveled about 400 miles on horseback last year, will spend much of this summer on the river in replica boats, and has spent stretches of time as Lewis away from his own wife and children.

"'I'm in uniform almost every day of the week,' he said, adding that throughout it all he looks after a 140-pound Newfoundland named Seaman, in a nod to the dog who accompanied the explorers on the original trek."

You may be a book lover, but how far would you go for a good read?

Top 10 Arkansas bumper stickers

(in order of appearance)

- Keep honking – I’m reloading

- Push, pass, or get off my #$%!

- Get in, sit down, shut up, and hold on! (On a mini-van)

- American by birth, rebel by choice

- Variation on Calvin peeing sticker: Calvin holding a confederate flag and flicking you off (This one has not yet been archived in the extensive "Calvin Pees Gallery")

- I know jack shit!

- Bad a#$ rebel bitch

- Ain’t skeerd

- Welcome to the south, now go home

- The trailer park called – they want their trash back

This is just fascinating: They Rule

I have now hit internet junkie bottom: Friendster

Why you should never put your picture on the internet:

As if the Anti-American Idol show, "Superstar," wasn't dark and cynical enough:

At a taping for the upcoming "bad talent" series, "Superstar USA" producers lied and told audience members that the talentless contestants were actually terminally ill patients from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
...
But not everyone in the "Superstar" audience took the bait. One member who requested anonymity told the paper that the singers were so bad, he knew the show had to be a put-on.

"I said to myself, 'There should be some cancer patients who could actually hold a note,' " he said.

Lots of fun stuff over at B-Offensive T-Shirts - most with a libertarian theme. (Blatantly stolen from Tim's blog)

Defense Tones by Donald Rumsfeld



"After hearing Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld dress down the media at Pentagon press briefings, two San Francisco musicians came to an inevitable conclusion: his words simply must be set to chamber music.

"'The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld and Other Fresh American Songs' includes 'The Unknown' from Rumsfeld's Feb. 12, 2003, briefing on the situation in Iraq:

"'As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns ...'

"Now those words are lyrics sung by soprano Elender Wall, set to the lofty chords of composer and pianist Bryant Kong.

"Last year, journalist-humorist Hart Seely took selected Rumsfeld briefings and without changing a word, presented them in the form of free verse, sonnets and haiku in his book Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld.

"Kong, who got permission to use Seely's work for his musical compositions, has considered whether the words of other top politicians might work as forms of art. He thinks President Bush's statements lack the necessary substance, while Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry would put people to sleep."

Aussies do it down under

Channeling Big Brother, Australian treasurer Peter Costello is urging his fellow citizens to turn off the telly and initiate replication:

"'You go home and do your patriotic duty tonight,' Peter Costello said when asked by a journalist if he was 'the family-friendly treasurer saying get out there and procreate.'

"In a federal budget handed down on Tuesday, Costello promised $2,083 for every baby born after June as part of a $13.3 billion 'family package' to be distributed over five years.

"Costello said two youngsters per couple in the nation of 20 million just wasn't adequate.

"'If you can have children it's a good thing to do. You should have...one for your husband, one for your wife, and one for your country,' Costello said.

"'If you want to fix the aging demographic, you're just back to square after two. You make no net improvement,' the former-lawyer and father-of-three said.

"Some would have to go one step further by having extra children 'for your country' to make up the gap left by friends who 'aren't even replicating themselves,' the Treasurer said."

Ohio beats Michigan!

"Ohio has more hate groups than any other non-Southern state except for California, according to a watchdog organization.

"Thirty-three neo-Nazi, whitesupremacist and black-separatist groups have branches in Ohio, according to the latest edition of Intelligence Report, a quarterly publication of the Southern Poverty Law Center of Montgomery, Ala. Four years ago, the publication said Ohio had 24 such groups.

"Georgia has the most this time around, 54, according to the publication, followed by Texas with 53, South Carolina and California with 45 each and Florida with 39."

Ohio woman selling aerated SUV

"A sport-utility vehicle for sale on eBay has just one flaw: a bullet hole in the driver’s door, believed to be from the central Ohio highway shooter.

"'Hate to part with it, but brings up memories that are better forgotten,' reads the advertisement posted last week on the Internet auction site.

"'2 door 4X4 loaded!! Ohio serial shooting victim,' the listing proclaims.

"A 26-year-old Pickaway County woman was driving the 2001 Ford Explorer south on Rt. 23 near Rathmell Road when it was struck by a bullet Nov. 18.

"The eBay item, listed 'as-is' for $13,000, was posted Friday by the Explorer owner’s boyfriend, who identified himself only as Dave."

Michael Moore creates pseudo-event to promote new film



"Less than 24 hours after accusing the Walt Disney Company of pulling the plug on his latest documentary in a blatant attempt at political censorship, the rabble-rousing film-maker Michael Moore has admitted he knew a year ago that Disney had no intention of distributing it.

"The admission, during an interview with CNN, undermined Moore's claim that Disney was trying to sabotage the US release of Fahrenheit 911 just days before its world premiere at the Cannes film festival.

"Instead, it lent credence to a growing suspicion that Moore was manufacturing a controversy to help publicise the film, a full-bore attack on the Bush administration and its handling of national security since the attacks of 11 September 2001.

"But Moore's publicity stunt, if that is what is, appears to be working. A front-page news piece in The New York Times was followed yesterday by an editorial denouncing Disney for censorship and denial of Moore's right to free expression."

Man runs on "rat in mouth" platform

"An Indian man is campaigning for the country's national elections by holding a live rat in his mouth.

"Jai Shankar has been going around with the rodent in his mouth in his constituency of Tamil Nadu.

"He says he is doing this to highlight the plight of starving farmers.

"Mr. Shankar, from Thuraimangalam, claims he is not worried about catching any disease. (Seinfeld moment: "You know, it's the only country that still has the plague? I mean, the plague! Please!")

"He told newspaper Hindustan Times: 'Rats are running all over the place. If this runs away, I can always find another one.'"

The poor guy may not be worried about catching the plague, but wait until PETA finds out...

Not good enough? Not smart enough? And doggone it, no one likes you?

Some Self-esteem Games oughtta fix that right up!

Get shorty

The Vietnamese government is concerned about how short its people are and plans a nutrition and exercise program for the nation's youth.

"Vietnam's greatest living figure, General Vo Nguyen Giap, is treasured although he stands just five feet tall, but the communist government is worried that its future generations won't be tall enough.

"'The growth rates (of Vietnamese) are much lower than those of other countries like Japan and China,' Duong Nghiep Chi, director of the Physical Training and Sports Institute, said in the Vietnam News daily on Friday."

There's an easier way for everyone to "get few inches taller instantly": Elevator shoes.

If government officials have any doubts, "genuine" customers are more than willing to tell others of their satisfaction with the product:

"Some of my friends think I have become smarter and smarter, but they don't know my secret."
-Roger Smith

"Your effective response to my first order has inspired my confidence"
-K.K

Greens find their "Passion"

"20th Century Fox's marketing machine is getting some help in pushing its upcoming big-budget disaster picture 'The Day After Tomorrow,' as several environmentally inclined groups are using the film's Memorial Day weekend release to push their own causes.

"Advocacy group MoveOn.org said Thursday that it will hold a news conference next week with Al Gore and Harvard University scientist Dan Schrag to outline an upcoming campaign to create awareness about global warming. Slated to launch the same weekend as the Roland Emmerich-helmed 'Tomorrow,' the campaign will be aim to encourage 'a national dialogue on what must be done to stop global warming,' MoveOn brass said.

"Fox execs want the Dennis Quaid-Jake Gyllenhaal starrer to touch on reality but also stay firmly within the world of entertainment as a tentpole rollout, which 20th Century Fox executive vp marketing Jeffrey Godsick calls 'giant popcorn entertainment" that is 'based on science fact.'"

The Jesus Nebula - it's kind of like a "Where's Waldo?" for lunatics.

Metallica + The Beatles = Beatallica

One more reason not to buy that Big Mouth Billy Bass

"SAGINAW, Mich. (AP) - A woman was arrested on accusations she used a mounted fish with a pointy nose to assault her live-in boyfriend, police said.

"A state police trooper responded Monday to a domestic dispute and found a 25-year-old man who claimed he was the victim of a knife assault. The man had several small cuts on his arms, right leg and left shoulder, as well as a bite wound on the same shoulder, a Saginaw police report said.

"But when questioned, a 25-year-old woman told authorities she bit her boyfriend back after he bit her first. And she said she never used a knife on him. She said the man threw her down and hit her several times. That's when she grabbed the fish.

"'She could not get away, so she grabbed a decorative fish off the mantle of the fireplace and hit him several times until he let her go,' the police report said."

Best online quiz ever.

UN official declares Skeptical Environmentalist world's next Hitler



"The chairman of the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, has likened environmental pundit Bjørn Lomborg's view of humanity to that of Adolf Hitler. Pachauri, who spoke with daily newspaper Jyllands-Posten's JP Explorer in New Delhi, India last week, took issue with Lomborg's position that it would be too costly for the international community to take steps to save endangered cultures, such as the Arctic Inuits, from the effects of global warming.

"'What is the difference between Lomborg's view of humanity and Hitler's? You cannot treat people like cattle. You must respect the diversity of cultures on Earth,' said Pachauri.

"'Lomborg thinks of people like numbers. He thinks it would be cheaper just to evacuate people from the Maldives, rather than trying to prevent world sea levels from rising so that island groups like the Maldives or Tuvalu just disappear into the sea. But where's the respect for people in that? People have a right to live and die in the place where their forefathers have lived and died,' Pachauri continued."

Another worthless hat trick:

Mario Guitar

Harmonica Beat Box

Windows Remixed

Oh no they di'int...
I always knew they were evil, but I never suspected that this was in their master plan.

"Purely technical reasons," my ass.

This site may get a permanent link. The Cowbell Project

The "Songs That Should Have a Cowbell" section is pretty sweet.

This is well worth a listen: The Federal Judge Song