If only this happened to every Gap store: Pardon Our Dust

Thank you, Spike Jonze, for making my dream live.

Pimp my Nutcracker

Happy Holidays everyone!

Can Fu

This spoof pilot by the guys who made the only funny SNL skit in the last decade is hilarious.

Zefrank gives us a direct request line to Santa's elves.

I am such a sucker for Family Guy nostalgia bits: Pinball Stewie

It's official.. he really is the most terrifying pope ever....

Gotta love the Kinky Friedman campaign.

"I'm gonna de-wussify Texas if I gotta do it one wuss at a time."

Even SNL can stumble upon funny by accident: Narnia Rap

Perhaps my all-time favorite web-game, Grow, now has a Christmas edition: Grow Ornament

Now this is the war on Christmas I'm talking about:

New Yorkers get in the holiday spirit and Santa strikes back.

Favorite non sequitur of the day: “Iraq's Al Qaeda vowed on the Internet to disrupt an election it called a "'democratic' wedding of atheism and fornication."”

If only…..

One of my coworkers assures me this is hi-larious (I, however, make no such promises): Yacht Rock

The Human Spider

Ahhh Sweet Vindication...

Mr. Cranky echoes a sentiment about Rent I've had for years:

The story is about a group of friends, some with AIDS and some not, who live the Bohemian lifestyle in New York and don't want to pay rent. This apparently warrants worship. However, here's a practical idea that might help them out: Get a job and move out of New York. Let's face it: High rents and New York go together like breathing and air.

Addendum: As I was looking for a pic of Gary from Team America: World Police singing "Everyone has AIDS!," I ran across this fun factoid: The Michael Moore puppet was stuffed with ham before it was blown up. More fun trivia here.

A Christmas Gory

Samarost 2

Archie McPhee



Home of Angry Scotsman chewing gum, the Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure, 7 Deadly Sins Wristbands, Jesus Pencil Toppers and more.

Steve at The Sneeze is running a soon-to-end giveaway where you can get your hands on some bacon bandages and other fascinating items from AM.

Colbert challenges the war on Christmas



Christmas is pinned down by enemy fire and Stephen Colbert is coming to the rescue.

Meet Ned. Ned sucks.


Despite my dislike of Fear Factor, I have never really harbored any
ill will towards the host, Joe Rogan. Mostly I think that's because he often subtley mocks the contestants which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in my heart-place. Anyhow, when I read his rant about joke thieves, I gained a whole new appreciation. Here's the best part of his PSA:

The latest, and most disgusting joke thief off all is a guy named "Carlos Mencia." The REALLY crazy thing, is that's not even his real name. He sells himself as being mexican, but the reality is his real name is Ned Holness, and he's actually half German and half Honduran. The mexican hook is something he did to ingratiate himself with the local Mexican population of LA where he started.
Now, normally I wouldn't dedicate so much time to talk about a piece of shit like "ned" on my website, but this stupid motherfucker talked shit about me on the radio, so it's open season for hacks.

Take that, ecological footprint!



"Carson Williams put up the elaborate light display at his Mason home and choreographed it all to music. But so many people have been flocking to see it that it's caused a traffic jam in his subdivision. Williams tells FOX19 that there was a car accident in the subdivision Tuesday and the police couldn't get to the scene because of the congestion.

"So he's decided to shut it down indefinitely.

"But you can see it right here" (and here, although I make no guarantees about pop-ups).

Catholics and Jews of the world unite: Siskel & Ebert on protestants



Siskel: "They don't get enough s*#$ and they have all the money. They have all the money!"

Ebert: "The only time protestants get on their knees is to adjust the f@%#ing TV set."

Siskel: "They have all the Godd^$%ed insurance companies, they have all the insurance companies, they run the government, they run everything."

Ebert: "You're right."

Siskel: "Steve Martin's new comedy Roxanne."

Ebert: "This week on Siskel and Ebert AND the Movies."

The pic says it all.

The latest in PoF's continuing coverage of Scott Stapp's downward spiral: Scott Stapp Gets into Brawl with 311


"We had just finished dinner and were at the hotel bar to watch the Lakers game when Scott Stapp walked in being very loud and obnoxious," Martinez tells Rolling Stone. "In fact, one of the first things he said was that he loved to fight. So he started doing shots and breaking the glass on the bar, almost hitting one of our crew guys. My wife and I moved to a table and eventually Scott made his way over and sat down. He was looking for attention. Even before that, he had wadded up a napkin that he lobbed in our direction. It was pathetic, and we tried to ignore him, but it was impossible. Then he made a pretty disrespectful comment to my wife, which I'd rather not repeat, but in no uncertain terms, the word 'fuck' was used. That's when [drummer] Chad [Sexton] walked over."

"I had run into Scott that day," says Sexton. "We have some things in common, like the same producer, and we chatted for a few minutes. So knowing we got along earlier, I kindly asked him not to disrespect anybody and reminded him that we're all friends. That's when he sucker-punched me -- hit me right in the face."

"When Scott punched Chad," adds Martinez, "in the follow-through, he hit my wife so then I threw my punch. I think the last time I got into a fight was in the third grade, but it was an instant reaction on my part. [311 bassist] P-Nut also came over and he got sucked into it, opening up a scar on his right arm from a recent surgery. Scott went down, and his girl came over and sat on him to get him to stop, but he got up, enraged, still wanting to fight. After about five minutes, hotel security finally broke it up and kicked him out. Honestly, the hotel was really at fault for not kicking him out when he threw the first shot glass."

Some holiday cheer:

Cthulu Lego

Supamonks!

Indiana social discourse



Foolishly thinking Indiana would be an improvement over Arkansas, I nearly drove off the road the other day after reading a window-sized declaration that some guy's truck here is "Eatin' Fords and Shitin' Chevys."



Hoosiers are also quite fond of memorializing lost loved ones in car window sticker form, which is a new concept for me. Yes, that's a bulldozer - whether the person was fond of bulldozers, is supposed to have driven a bulldozer, or was run over by a bulldozer remains unclear. In any case, Calvin pissing apparently could not be worked in. Fear not, though, "No Fear" fans, the trend is still in its infancy.

Drew recently mentioned that "bumper stickers come in two varieties: 'extreme viewpoint' and 'infuriating cliche.'" Given these new developments, "formal declaration of stupidity" seems to be more comprehensive.



On the other side of the political spectrum, one fellow recently walked onto campus and was complimented on his nice red and green Christmas ribbons. He gave thanks for the compliment, and then politely explained that these were actually for sexual abuse and domestic violence awareness. I'm thinking of wearing "Incest Awareness Santa" to class at some point here, as well as attaching "Awareness of Awareness" magnetic ribbons to those portions of my car that have not already been covered in rust.

You have your photos against the background of every conceivable landmark. The pyramids make you yawn. You've been to luxury resorts. You've tried eco-tourism. You've gone to working trips abroad. You've done sex in Thailand and drugs in Amsterdam. You've taught English and teeth brushing techniques to flee-ridden children in Zimbabwe. You've stayed in Hymalayan buddhist monasteries and hand-fed penguins in the Antarctic. You've seen it all. People and places, cultures and countries no longer amuse you.

Realization that in six thousand years of civilization humanity hasn't generated enough entertainment for just this one lousy lifetime of yours makes you dangerously bored.

For the sophisticated misanthrope you've become we are pround to present the new revolutionary concept of Misery Tourism.

credit to Nick.

The rumor mill has already started on a possible Serenity sequel. Of course, if Wash isn't in it... sigh.

The story behind the dance.

Of course, I still think the Numfar dance of joy and the Angel dances are tops...

Shaun of the Dead reenacted with knitting.