I think it's fair to say that the Star Wars Kamasutra, featuring hot Scout Walker on Scout Walker action, easily rivals Episode 1 for absconding with my childhood, shooting it through the digestive tract of bad taste, and leaving me with a big steaming pile of broken dreams.

Sometimes the fat kid really should be the last one picked.

I guess one good argument against open borders might be the loss of comedy relief. Poor bastard.

If you haven't read the 1977 Schwarzenegger interview from Oui, you need to.

Good cop, bad cop.

My horns and tail are showing a bit today:

DICTIONARY OF JAPANESE PERVERSIONS



"Japanese people are stereotyped as being uncreative and lacking in originality. The most common image of a japanese man is a 'salariman' in a grey suit riding on a 'bullet train' full of identically dressed men. But in fact, when he gets home at night, the porn comes out, and he's going to be much more creative and 'unique' than you or I. He's wearing an Airline Stewardess uniform and boxing gloves, watching a DVD of broccoli being put up someone's butt. Let's face it, Japanese porn consumers are so utterly perverted that the industry can't invent new kinks fast enough.

"That being said, this site isn't really porn. There's no dirty pictures, or even dirty words. It's just really naughty anthropology! The infamous used-panty vending machines are just the tip of the iceberg.

"Why did I make this site? Because even though both the internet porn AND the japanese porn are world-famous. . . . For some reason, I couldn't find a dictionary of japanese pornographic terms on the internet!"

Today's life lesson: When you can't figure out why someone refuses to dish any good gossip, it probably means that all the really juicy stuff is about them.

Paul McCartney is Dead!

See the proof for yourself.

Cornell West finally has some competition ... check out the musical stylings of Orrin Hatch.

Get them while they last: Extra Ugly t-shirts are what all the kids will be wearing this Fall!

Advice from Maddox:

"I know you think you're the first person to discover the fat Star Wars kid video, and although everyone enjoys the timeless humor of a kid twirling a pole, assume that everyone has already seen it and DON'T SEND IT TO ME OR ANYONE ELSE. To be on the safe side, format your hard drive and cancel your internet account."

Here's a lengthy but interesting piece in the Atlantic Monthly about everyone's favorite libertarian media mogul, Rupert Murdoch.

New army tactic in Iraq: Girls for Guns

"U.S. troops in Iraq have started what they're calling the 'Girls for Guns Program' after a young Iraqi man was willing to turn in his weapons -- a rocket-propelled grenade and two heavy machine guns -- in exchange for pictures of Carmen Electra in a bikini."

Those wacky Japs are at it again... first it was Matrix Ping Pong and now it's Magic Shadow.

Test your knowledge of Middle East/ N. Africa geography. My own attempt was nothing to brag about.

Star Wars Kid goes mainstream...

Looks like I've got my work cut out for me:

So You've Decided to be Evil...

A Step-by-Step Guide to joining the Forces of Darkness

I'm a big fan of John McWhorter after I watched him disembowel a pair of lawyers in an affirmative action debate at Fordham last year. Here's a nice vitriolic piece he wrote for City Journal detailing why rap music retards black success.

Sorry for the spotty blogging.. just got back to NY on Saturday and I'm living out of boxes. I am busy getting my life together and haven't found the time to really procrastinate on anything important.
Also, FedEx just delivered my PC today and it was pretty bashed up and parts were rattling all over the place. This is the second time I've shipped this PC by FedEx and had it arrive in pieces. Anyhow, I had it back up and running in about an hour (thank you child-laborers of southeast Asia), but I still don't have internet access. This should be remedied within the week... until then my blogging may be a bit sparse.

At least the methods for finding Saddam are getting more creative. Here's a little something to give you nightmares:

Cincinnati crazy for cornhole

Now that's a great headline. You really do learn something new every day.

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret.

"We all want to know if God exists; maybe He just needs a reliable method to let us know He's here."

Buy your God Detector today, and start keeping track of all the action!

The latest iteration of the Nazi party: The Libertarian National Socialist Green Party

I sure hope someone's kidding.

It's the Star Wars Kid in ASCII.

Bushspeak Hangman.

Today's Photoshop on FARK - Schwarzenegger campaign ads:

Thanks to Beth for reminding me to visit www.despair.com. Great for those last minute stocking stuffers...

Just when I thought we were running low on heroes, someone slams a pie in Ralph Nader's face.

Tasteless but funny.. the Jack Black soundboard.

Finally found a reason to visit Arkansas (in honor of Matt who is rumored to have relocated there... ).

Mosh.

Since I am 'vacationing' in Detroit, I can't promise any decent posts for the next few days (especially since the other bloggers on this site have been silent for quite some time now...), so to keep you busy, here are a bunch of classic Nintendo games to fend off the despair and keep you safely buried in childhood nostalgia while I'm away.

If only all elections were driven by recall... among the contenders for the California governorship:

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arianna Huffington
Gary Coleman
Gallagher

Democracy surrenders.

Best movie rumor I've heard in a while: Dan Simmon's Hyperion series may be turned into a movie trilogy (with rumors of Scorsese and DiCarprio thrown in the mix).
This is a great series by one of my favorite authors. I even bothered to seek him out meet (read: stalk) him a few years ago. Hopefully, they won't totally butcher the story... anyone know if Peter Jackson is busy?

Just had to share some geek trivia.... for Angel fans, the character named Numfar who shows up in Pylea at the end of season 2 and is ordered to dance ("Numfar, Do the Dance of Joy!" "Numfar, Do the Dance of Shame!" etc.) is actually Joss Whedon.

Apparently Hitchens felt that not enough people were actively resenting him this week and wrote a piece for Slate entitled "Did Bob Hope Ever Say Anything Funny?" which leads me to think that Hitchens obit might one day read "Did Christopher Hitchens Ever Say Anything Nice?"

Those Google editors are at it again... search "crackhead" and hit "I'm feeling lucky."

In case you haven't met the net obsession that is Homestarrunner, a good introduction is the online game "Population Tire" (thanks to Will for pointing it out) and be sure to check out some of the StrongBad emails.

Flash games to kill your productivity.

World Sauna-Sitting championships in Helsinki

And they say we Finns don't know how to have a good time....